Author Topic: Who will be in charge of your will?  (Read 1681 times)


  • Member
  • Posts: 56
Who will be in charge of your will?
« on: April 25, 2016, 08:16:58 PM »
For us wids without children...
have you thought who will be in charge of your will and funds?

I figured my parents would be basket cases- so I chose my sister, but sadly she passed last Aug.

I tried to think of someone who would be level headed- and who I should have on my bank accounts as POD (payee on death) and beneficiary on my other accounts.

Sadly (but a blessing in disguise) I got to see how my niece/God daughter handled her mother's (my sister's passing. Hands down she is very level headed and practical. It was hard to ask her- since her mother passed- but I felt I had to get my accounts in order. (Sadly my sister passed unexpectedly- but by God's grace peacefully in her sleep). (She was only in her early 50's)- no one knew she was sick- but smoking for nearly 40 years and bad health habits/eating choices played a huge role in the end. So  I realized I needed to get my accounts in order and make it easy on my family when my time comes- as we all know- you never know tomorrow...

I told my niece to give me a simple funeral-and set my ashes free/along with my husbands who I keep here in my home (becasue sadly -they too will have no place to go once I am gone)

Asked her to divide my money equally among my immediate family. But before they reieve even one dollar they have to do a great act of kindness. I told her- each family member can decide what they deem "a great act of kindness"...

That's how far I've gotton...anything else I am forgetting?

What have you all done?


  • Member
  • Posts: 294
Re: Who will be in charge of your will?
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2016, 09:18:51 AM »
My lawyer also had me draw up both a medical and a financial power of attorney in the event I get hit by a bus as my next of kin and who I'd like to take care of medical and financial decisions becomes an issue.  One friend is the medical and one is the financial so that both have to look out for my best interests.   


  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 270
  • Widowed: August 2009 Remarried: June 2013
Re: Who will be in charge of your will?
« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2016, 01:02:57 PM »

I think your plan is more thorough than mine was after my wife's death. Early on, I did formally change beneficiaries to be my siblings, since both of my parents were already gone. But I never officially chose an executor since I assumed that the oldest of them would serve in that capacity, as he did after my mother's death. That's about as far as I got with regard to estate planning, and things stayed that way for the next several years. But of course, all of it changed again when I became engaged and later remarried.

--- WifeLess


  • Member
  • Posts: 62
Re: Who will be in charge of your will?
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2016, 10:11:33 PM »
It's a hard decision. Our loved ones had us, but we don't have them or children. I had a medical and a financial POA like Mrskro, as well as an Advanced Health Directive, which sets out how to make medical and health decisions in the event that I can't. I had my mother, one brother and my BIL as health POA - jointly or individually, and my father, the other brother and my SIL as my financial SOA - also jointly or individually. After the BIL and SIL wrote to me at the one year sadiversary to tell me that I hadn't grieved 'properly', I removed them and just have my family listed. Having options is good if one person is not available or is struggling with choices, because they can consult with each other in a very difficult situation. I had not added my BF before we broke up, even though we were together for close to two years... I guess that says a lot.
"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." Kahlil Gibran