Specific Situations > Extreme Caregiving

How to be former caregiver

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Shelby:
This particular thread has made me cry. It is a hard road. It's over six years from me and I don't have it all figured out yet. I just wanted you to know, Arneal, that you're definitely not alone.

<3 to all my fellow former caregivers

arneal:
Thanks, Shelby:

I am past the six-month mark and there are days when I feel like I am sailing well. I am developing good relationships with those around me and have changed my general atmosphere. I have scents in the house. I've almost finished cleaning the garage. I play music that I like all day (I work from home). I am in the process of joining a new church. I have what I hope is a developing intimate relationship again, which is welcomed after such a long time without that level of closeness due to my former husband's illnesses. One day at a time ...

Dragonfly:
Hello,
Wow this resonated so much with me.  I have been in this forum but not this particular area so much.  And tonight realizing some of my conflicting feelings make perfect sense. I was a caregiver to my husband for the last 3 years while he was in liver failure awaiting transplant before he passed away 3 months ago.  My friend asked me last night how I am doing and I almost said well things are a little easier now since I am not caring for my husband anymore, just the house and my son. No more doctor trips or hospital  stays. I felt horrible thinking that and just confused. I miss him so much and just wanted for him to be better not gone. Sometimes I feel like I need to be exerting myself somehow but dont knoe how. Staying somewhat busy but its tough in the winter too. Just get lonely for companionionship. Ugh.

arneal:
Be gentle with yourself, Dragonfly. Take it one breath at a time ...

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