Specific Situations > Extreme Caregiving

How to be former caregiver

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This particular thread has made me cry. It is a hard road. It's over six years from me and I don't have it all figured out yet. I just wanted you to know, Arneal, that you're definitely not alone.

<3 to all my fellow former caregivers

Thanks, Shelby:

I am past the six-month mark and there are days when I feel like I am sailing well. I am developing good relationships with those around me and have changed my general atmosphere. I have scents in the house. I've almost finished cleaning the garage. I play music that I like all day (I work from home). I am in the process of joining a new church. I have what I hope is a developing intimate relationship again, which is welcomed after such a long time without that level of closeness due to my former husband's illnesses. One day at a time ...

Wow this resonated so much with me.  I have been in this forum but not this particular area so much.  And tonight realizing some of my conflicting feelings make perfect sense. I was a caregiver to my husband for the last 3 years while he was in liver failure awaiting transplant before he passed away 3 months ago.  My friend asked me last night how I am doing and I almost said well things are a little easier now since I am not caring for my husband anymore, just the house and my son. No more doctor trips or hospital  stays. I felt horrible thinking that and just confused. I miss him so much and just wanted for him to be better not gone. Sometimes I feel like I need to be exerting myself somehow but dont knoe how. Staying somewhat busy but its tough in the winter too. Just get lonely for companionionship. Ugh.

Be gentle with yourself, Dragonfly. Take it one breath at a time ...


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