Author Topic: Where is my mind?  (Read 5847 times)

Kealoha

  • Member
  • Posts: 47
Re: Where is my mind?
« Reply #15 on: April 09, 2015, 11:38:49 PM »
Baby brain + widow brain = ...  now where was I again?

Was coming back from a walk with my dad and DD, and instead of saying, "Grandpa is going to take off his shoes," what came out was "Grandpa is going to put on his shirt.". wtf.

I am really watching what I say at work.  Used to be so articulate and now it's like I had a brain transplant.

mixelated

  • Member
  • Posts: 28
Re: Where is my mind?
« Reply #16 on: April 13, 2015, 07:21:55 PM »
Driving in this widow-fog is not good. I almost rear-ended a cop today. :(
There's no way to get around having to drive! Any tips on how to snap out of it for the time it takes to get from Point A to Point B??

m.

Ursula

  • Member
  • Posts: 162
Re: Where is my mind?
« Reply #17 on: April 13, 2015, 11:37:58 PM »
happens to me all the time.  most of my widow-brain incidents I have forgotten too.
I also have real blanks now, total memory gaps, loss of words,  something I have never experienced in my life before. It's slightly worrying if it happens in class in front of the student when they ask a rather straightforward question... might just appear a bit demented...
Por que tu fuego a?n me quema, sin ti las noches son eternas,
tu aroma sigue aqu?, no me deja ir.. Por m?s que intente y quiera olvidarte, yo nunca lograre dejarte, cautivo de este amor sincero esclavo de tu voz.. Por que estoy am?ndote, so??ndose, aunque no est?s aqu?..
Y yo te esperare, amor aunque los a?os lleguen sin querer (Marc Anthony)

gracelet

  • Member
  • Posts: 246
    • Eerily Cheerily - upbeat but sarcastic musings of a young lesbian widow
Re: Where is my mind?
« Reply #18 on: April 14, 2015, 07:06:23 AM »
After about a year of widow brain, my brain came back and I've been able to do a great job at work.  It will happen for you too. It just takes time, and some adaptations in the way you organise yourself.

I still have my days where I have to announce to my colleagues that I'm having a widow brain day (meaning I'm sad and distracted, perhaps because of a significant date approaching) but for the most part I'm good.

There are chunks of time, especially from my early days of widowhood, that have just totally disappeared from my brain because of trauma.  I think I'm actually grateful for that.

Here are some ways I have organised myself, but bear in mind I have no children, live in the city and work in a corporate job so this might not work for all.

Sync up your ipad, iphone and work calendars and put EVERYTHING in there.

Spend some time figuring out which days of the month money comes into my bank account and money goes out for bills etc.  Put that in the calendar. Set up automatic payments if you can.

Break down bigger tasks and list the small chunks that are necessary to bring it together.  This makes the task far less daunting and you can tick off a bit at a time and see the progress you're actually making.

In terms of work productivity, when taking notes at a meeting, draw a horizontal line and a vertical line to split your page into quarters.  Top left, I take notes of the conversation key points. Top right is for when my mind wanders because the meeting is dull and I want to use the time to plan something else. Bottom left is for ideas sparked by the conversation that I want to explore further.  Bottom right is for actions arising.  That means I have a nice clear "To do" list and a "to think about" list without having to weed through lots of scribbles to figure out what's important after the meeting.

Have ONE to do list - not lots of scraps here and there. Get a big pad.  For my to do list, I have a target date for each item so I can prioritise and plan my time.  I also have a list of "Expecting responses from" so I know who to chase and who I'm relying on for stuff.

If you can't sleep, use the time to figure out what you/your family will wear the next day and lay it out.  Saves you brain time in the morning when you are tired from not having slept properly.


Musings of this sarcastic but upbeat young widow can be read here : www.eerilycheerily.com

mixelated

  • Member
  • Posts: 28
Re: Where is my mind?
« Reply #19 on: April 14, 2015, 07:02:55 PM »
Aaaand today, I went around all day with both my shirt and sweater on inside out. Nobody said anything, including my kid.

.....

Callobg

  • Member
  • Posts: 43
Re: Where is my mind?
« Reply #20 on: April 14, 2015, 07:31:44 PM »
Mixelated, funny! This just made my night! Thank you. Hang in there everyone, we're another day closer!

Love y'all.

LSC, I love and miss you dearly...my sweet baby.
Forever and always my wife, my friend, my lover, my everything.


Love you LSC.

Jess

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 670
  • AKA Jezzy
Re: Where is my mind?
« Reply #21 on: April 15, 2015, 08:18:28 AM »
Aaaand today, I went around all day with both my shirt and sweater on inside out. Nobody said anything, including my kid.

.....

I did this once, but a coworker said "Jess, you know I love you and think you are great... but honey, your shirt is inside out" Sigh.
On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good. - Unknown

Don't be concerned about being disloyal to your pain by being joyous. - Hazrat Inayat Khan

Joe: 1979- 7/2014

canadiangirl

  • Member
  • Posts: 438
Re: Where is my mind?
« Reply #22 on: April 23, 2015, 03:06:33 PM »
Going back to this thread, as today in preparation for (last-minute) taxes, was trying to recreate what my child did last summer while I was working.  I have no idea.  I have almost no recollection of what the schedule of summer camps and recreational activities was.   Just blank.  Makes this kind of tiresome admin work even worse!  Total widow brain those first months...

loquaciousloki

  • Member
  • Posts: 2
Re: Where is my mind?
« Reply #23 on: April 24, 2015, 10:59:18 PM »
Last weekend I realized that I hadn't paid my gas bill in 3 months. I also didn't pay my car insurance or one of my credit card bills last month.

I'm going to work on a calendar and auto pay tomorrow. This widow brain thing is awfully annoying. This is the second time I forgot to pay the credit card bill so they wouldn't take the late fee off a second time. I think it's the second time for the car insurance, too...

Justin

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 310
  • From KY to AZ, USA AKA:MissingMarsha
Re: Where is my mind?
« Reply #24 on: April 28, 2015, 11:23:12 AM »
The air in our house was feeling a bit stuffy the other day, so I kicked the heat pump fan from "auto" to "on" to circulate for a bit.

I remembered to turn it back to "auto". Three days later.
Marsha 1975-2014

"Love is the province of the brave"