Hi Mizpah
Thanks. Yes I will stay, at least for the moment. I don't have much to go back to. And I do not want to start all over again on another place.
No there is no pub here :-) but I do not need more people. I like my own company and I have friends who would give me help if I had a problem. Also since I am here, the women come together on Thursdays for spinning and knitting.
I think at this moment what I do need is a purpose, something to live for, a goal. That would have been my study at the textile college - a path to follow during four years - but, as I surely will have mentioned, that is gone now. A good job would do - here is a shortage of care workers. And I would love to care for some one. Sadly, the organisation that matches that kind of offer and demand is very very dysfunctional and inefficient...
I do have a structure/ routine. I go to the crabfactory for a couple of days a week. I go working on the croft (farm) on the other days - which I love. I take one day a week off, sometimes more. In the evenings, I am happy to be on my own. I have my spinning wheel and my knitting machine here. I have been encouraged to sell my knitwear, and who knows this might happen in the future.
Hi Adley,
When I came back home alone from the hospital where my favourite person had just died, I locked the door of our lovely house and I went away to my brothers place. He lives at the other side of the country. I have never gone back to our home. I left my brothers place 5 months and 1 week after that day.
The decision itself was made in an instance after the thought had come up. Making a list with keywords what the place had to look like took 10 minutes. Picking the place took 2 or 3 days. I had no doubts about it.
I didn't realize I would stay that long, though, I thought I would be back after the summer. I remember thinking: after a couple of months I will be more on top of this pain. Well... mmm... no not really. And especially not now, even if it is a bit more than 2 years after his death, I am not on top of it at all, and it seems worse than ever.
It was good to read your story. Our stories are quite different, I think. You have children, even when they are grown, you have a family of your own. I haven't.
I only have a brother and a sister, which I had hardly seen for decennia, each have busy families of their own.
You have an affinity with rural life and farming, I hadn't.
I hope you will see clear soon what path to take!