Author Topic: 3 weeks. growing grief  (Read 2346 times)

sandrine2279

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3 weeks. growing grief
« on: May 29, 2016, 03:58:53 AM »
Hi everybody
I suppose it is normal.
I miss him so much, the pain is deeper and deeper.
more tears. at any moment. nightmares every night.
went to see him today. like every day, asked him to come back or to take me with him.
yesterday one my collegue/friend got married.... when my beloved bear and I are separated this awful way.
oh, life in unfair.
can't stand it today. 

bye
sandrine

BrokenHeart2

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  • Widowed 2013
Re: 3 weeks. growing grief
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2016, 04:14:02 AM »
Hi Samdrine
I'm so sorry for your loss, yes, life is so unfair.  We get it.  I'm sorry you had to join us but post here anytime.  You will find support from the amazing people here.  We get it.
Big gentle hugs to you.
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

Kater

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Re: 3 weeks. growing grief
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2016, 10:06:03 PM »
Sandrine, I remember someone asking me how I was doing sometime around the 3 to 4 week mark and me saying that it seemed things were getting worse not better.   She pointed out, and I think rightly so, that the shock was wearing off and so I was probably feeling the grief more.  the first few weeks are often so busy with "business" and people and then the quiet sets in and it really starts to hit home.  It is likely to be difficult for a while.  For me, things started to ease up about 3 and a half months in.

Take care, and know we all get it here and are here to help each other as best we can.
Kate

AubreeAnn

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Re: 3 weeks. growing grief
« Reply #3 on: May 30, 2016, 10:45:27 PM »
It comes in waves. I'm at about 6 weeks and a few days ago, I had two days that were about the same as the ones I felt in the very beginning, it's been awful and a new pain and I think the shock started to wear off a little. I was hit with a new wave and those waves will come and go, some stronger than others. You feel like you'll be having a decent day and then the next day, you feel like it's back to the beginning. It's so unimaginable and we know your pain. Hugs to you and take care of yourself.

SoVerySad

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Re: 3 weeks. growing grief
« Reply #4 on: May 30, 2016, 11:51:32 PM »
Tight hugs to you, Sandrine. I'm sorry you are hurting so much.
Without you, Baby, I'm not me.

sandrine2279

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Re: 3 weeks. growing grief
« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2016, 03:25:21 AM »
Hello,

you're all so nice to take time to read me complaining with my grief.

it's true I need to find people understanding the loss of my love.

not everey body can. my best friend explained me that taking time for me should not make me feel guilty cos' it's not forgetting my beloved bear....

but it's not only about feeling guilty. it also pure grief not be with him everywhere as usual....

others don't get it whereas I'm greiving more and more every day.

it's now difficult to go out of my bed and I almost feel I can hardly any eat something when I wake up.

sandrine


Mrskro

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Re: 3 weeks. growing grief
« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2016, 06:26:02 AM »
Sandrine;

We are always here to listen.  And at least for me I don't see it as complaining.   I think talking or rather writing about it is a good thing.  Feel free to express yourself here.

I completely understand how difficult it can be some days to get out of bed.  Take things slowly, one moment at a time.  I found making a list of what needed to be done was helpful.  It gave me a reason to get dressed.   

As for eating.  I was definitely there, my poor children practically begged me to eat.  That does get better too.  (unfortunately I've now re-gained the weight I lost lol).


Hugs
« Last Edit: May 31, 2016, 07:07:01 AM by Mrskro »

donswife

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Re: 3 weeks. growing grief
« Reply #7 on: May 31, 2016, 07:02:05 AM »
please keep coming here for support
we understand grief and I am so sorry you have to be here
Just be very gentle with yourself and try and eat , I know its hard
take care and sending hugs your way
My everything

sandrine2279

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Re: 3 weeks. growing grief
« Reply #8 on: June 01, 2016, 08:40:16 AM »
in fact in today I just don't want to believe he couldn't come back. I love him. can't stop loving him.

feel like I gotta be strong for months or years and then he comes and find me again like the first time.

do some of you feel that sometimes?

hugs

Sandrine
« Last Edit: June 02, 2016, 01:34:56 AM by sandrine2279 »

Wheelerswife

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Re: 3 weeks. growing grief
« Reply #9 on: June 01, 2016, 09:41:46 AM »
Sandrine,

Sometimes it is very hard to comprehend that they are truly gone. Some days, I still plead with my husband to come back. I really miss him, but I also know that I have to figure out how to keep living without him. That takes time and on many days, I find myself living well, but on others, I still struggle.

Be kind to yourself. This is all so new to you and your mind and heart have not wrapped themselves around the reality that he is gone.

Big hugs!

Maureen
Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

Empathy  Developer  Responsibility  Adaptability Connectedness

Kater

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Re: 3 weeks. growing grief
« Reply #10 on: June 01, 2016, 07:26:05 PM »
From time to time I think I will clear out the front closet of his jackets and then a little voice deep down says "but what if he comes back"?  It's like my brain knows but my heart hasn't got the message just yet.   Ugh.  This sucks soooo much.

sandrine2279

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Re: 3 weeks. growing grief
« Reply #11 on: June 02, 2016, 09:26:00 AM »
last night I dreamt we were going out together because he managed to come back for me.  silly grief...
and today, going to our house was just excruciating.  I wish I could give up that nightmare. i'm pis.... of.
I need the most important person  in my life and cannot even talk to him. ...

Mrskro

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Re: 3 weeks. growing grief
« Reply #12 on: June 02, 2016, 10:27:33 AM »
Quote
I need the most important person  in my life and cannot even talk to him

I'm almost 2 years out and haven't disconnect his cell phone yet.  I still text him.  I miss not being able to talk to him.

sandrine2279

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Re: 3 weeks. growing grief
« Reply #13 on: June 02, 2016, 11:33:59 AM »
I have already  thought of texting him. ...I think I ll  be  able  to  wait  for an answer. ...
Hugs

A Tout Jamais

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Re: 3 weeks. growing grief
« Reply #14 on: June 02, 2016, 12:00:42 PM »



“Les larmes sont le langage muet de la douleur."

~~ Voltaire



Chère Sandrine,

La perte de son époux est tellement insupportable et une tragédie puissante qui peut totalement boulverser notre vie. C’est extrêmement dur et douloureux, et l’on se sent tout seul au monde.

Notre communauté ici peut offrir un peu de réconfort et soutien parce qu’on est tous ensemble dans une bataille commune et tragique. J'espère que vous obtiendrez un peu de consolation parmi les autres qui se trouvent dans des circonstances similaires.

"Le chagrin qui ne parle pas
murmure en secret au cœur surchargé de se rompre."

~~ William Shakespeare



Parlez-nous de votre douleur, on vous entend et comprend.


 

"Tu n'es plus là où tu étais,
mais tu es partout là où je suis."

~~ Victor Hugo



Que votre cœur brisé soit guéri et paisible!

Meilleurs vœux,

ATJ
"Tu n'es plus là où tu étais, mais tu es partout là où je suis."
~~ Victor Hugo

"Je me souviens de toi ... Je me souviens de nous  - Il était une fois -  Je me souviens de tout!"