Author Topic: In all honesty, how much can one person take?  (Read 3757 times)

Carey

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  • Widowed 11/23/13 Joined YWBB 12/2/13
Re: In all honesty, how much can one person take?
« Reply #15 on: March 19, 2015, 08:10:31 AM »
Well for those of you keeping track, I won one and lost one this morning.  Son claimed he missed the bus again this morning. I said, get in the car kid.  I get "but mom you'll be late". I don't care. Get in the car.  "but mom you'll run out of gas". I don't care. Get in the car.  So even though I screwed myself in the process, at least today, he's at school. My gas light is on and I doubt I make it home but still a victory.  I really thought he was counting on me giving in and telling him to stay home.  I'm trying SO hard not to wallow. My daddy used to say how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. It's just lately, while I'm working on the first bite the elephant puts on a few more pounds.  I'm tired of feeling resentful. Thank you all so much for being here. it means so much.
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter

MrsDan

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Re: In all honesty, how much can one person take?
« Reply #16 on: March 19, 2015, 08:48:16 AM »
Not sure exactly where you are in NC but I googled food pantries in NC and came up with a few hits:

http://www.foodpantries.org/st/north_carolina

http://www.foodbankcenc.org/site/PageServer?pagename=FBCENCHome

I don't think they're as stringent as government agencies when it comes to qualifying. The way public assistance is set up is total bullshit. I'm also wondering if there are any medical trials you could find that would help with your medications. I offer these suggestions with the understanding of how hard it is to follow through on suggestions when you are grieving. Finding the motivation to do things even things you have to do or know might help is so hard. Your kids' lack of appreciation when you are trying so hard must be tough too. Do they have jobs? Maybe they should get them and contribute to the food budget if they are so unhappy with the fare. Or give  them the money and tell them to go to the store and figure out how to stretch it for the week. I'm not a big proponent of tough love and that is not what I am suggesting but it sounds like they could really use some perspective.

I have not had the financial trials you are facing but there are a lot of similarities between the circumstances of our husbands' death so I get that piece of it. We were all under stress, but their way of coping launched the two of us into a pain and turmoil that they couldn't have conceived. They couldn't cope, because of their disease, but somehow we have to cope with something far worse. When I am dealing with logistical challenges or DD is being difficult, those are the times when I am most angry at him. There was one time my family room flooded and I was out in the pouring rain digging a trench trying to divert the water away from the house. I was saying, "I hope you're happy, I hope it was worth it."
You are the Bear of my heart dear,
And nothing can take that away.

Carey

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  • Posts: 524
  • Widowed 11/23/13 Joined YWBB 12/2/13
Re: In all honesty, how much can one person take?
« Reply #17 on: March 19, 2015, 09:07:35 AM »

I have not had the financial trials you are facing but there are a lot of similarities between the circumstances of our husbands' death so I get that piece of it. We were all under stress, but their way of coping launched the two of us into a pain and turmoil that they couldn't have conceived. They couldn't cope, because of their disease, but somehow we have to cope with something far worse.

Every time I see your name I remember your stories from the other board and the similarities. I definitely feel a kinship there, I know you understand.   You understand how love and hate can coexist so painfully. Thank you for the encouragement.  I too often tell him  I hope he's happy.  In that most sarcastic of ways :(
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter

Jen

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Re: In all honesty, how much can one person take?
« Reply #18 on: March 19, 2015, 12:26:42 PM »
More hugs... I'm proud of you for standing your ground with your son. I'm right alongside you, trying to choke that damned elephant down.

Lol. That just reminded me of something I haven't thought of in years: http://shelsilverstein.yolasite.com/melinda-mae.php
I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. ~Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

"Dying is easy. Living is hard. ~George Washington, Hamilton