Time Frame > Shock Wears Off, Reality Sets In ( 6 to 12 months)

Do I have to take off my rings?...

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alone13:
October 2015, I suddenly lost the love of my life after 13 years together and 2 kids. I struggle everyday still but taking care of our young kids has kept me going. His legacy has become my driving force.
But my question to you all, who are in the same boat, is do you wear your wedding ring(s)? Is it weird that I won't take mine off?
I feel like there is a category for single-no ring(s). A category for married-ring(s). And a category for divorced-get rid of the ring(s).
But I don't fit any of those. I guess in my mind I feel like I fit into "married" still. He didn't divorce me. I'm not a "single mother" by the standard definition. He didn't decide to leave me, and I'm still married to him in my heart.
So... does anyone else feel like I'm weird? Or does anyone think I'm okay for how I feel?

Wheelerswife:
Hi, alone13,

Nope.  You don't have to do anything with your rings that you don't want to do!  If you want to wear them, then wear them!  I wear my wedding band on my right ring finger.  I may always wear it.  I don't know right now.  When I lost my first husband, I moved my rings to my right hand on New Year's Eve, 3 1/2 months after he died, and I took them off all together another 2 months later.  I don't quite remember exactly when I moved my wedding band (I didn't have an engagement ring) after my second husband died, but I'm still wearing it after almost 2 1/2 years.

So...you get to choose when and if you want to move or remove your rings.  Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something because they think it is what you should do.

Hugs...and welcome to Widda.

Maureen

alone13:
Thank you. It means a lot to have someone understand.
And thank you for the welcome. I have struggled for the last 8 months without anyone in my circle of friends that understand what I'm going through. I found this forum and have gained a lot of peace and help through the messages I have read. I appreciate that this exists. And to everyone out there that has had a loss, I send you my prayers and best wishes.
Sus

Trying:
I agree, there are no rules, do what is right for you.  Around 6 months I started trying to take them off but I would endlessly reach for my finger to twist the rings that were missing.  I didn't like the idea of looking "single" without my rings and hadn't taken them off for over 20 years.  On our first wedding anniversary apart I bought myself a new ring for my left hand and I continue to wear it now.  For me it symbolizes my past and my present with 2 ropes connected.  Other widows wear their rings for years. no one gets to have an opinion but you.

SoVerySad:
My husband died over 3 years ago and I still wear my wedding rings. For me, they still feel right being there right now. Do what feels right to you and don't worry about anyone else's opinion on the issue. I'm glad you found us, although very sorry you had a reason to. There is comfort in being around people who truly understand.

Hugs to you...

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