Author Topic: I know it shouldn't matter so much...  (Read 1208 times)

ManutesGirl

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I know it shouldn't matter so much...
« on: March 18, 2015, 07:20:04 PM »
I know other people's opinion shouldn't matter so much but sometimes it does.

I spoke with my MIL the other night.  We have a great relationship that is made difficult at times due to the influence of my step-kids mom.  As a result I sometimes get silly and hesitate to call cause I'm worried about what may have been said to her (I know that's very high schoolish but I can't help it sometimes).  But at the end of the day I know she is not only one of my biggest supporters but someone I can call and talk through my grief when it hits...and she gets it.

We were talking about me & things going on in my life.  How I handle myself with the difficult situation with the kids, a promotion at work and my goal to do an Ironman in 2016.  I'm doing my very first triathlon in May and she is so excited about it.

Anyhow, she then said to me DH would be so proud of you, he really would.  It brought tears to my eyes and made me feel so good.  I know it shouldn't matter so much but it does...I didn't realize how much I needed to hear that.
?I have lived my life well, lived with integrity and always lived each day the best I could.  I have no regrets.?  DKB 9/2/65 - 10/23/11

anniegirl

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Re: I know it shouldn't matter so much...
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2015, 08:15:22 PM »
Why shouldn't it matter?

What matters it that it matters to you. And how great that your MIL is one of your biggest fans. That's wonderful. Her support and your relationship with each other.

Good luck with that triathlon!
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A Tout Jamais

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Re: I know it shouldn't matter so much...
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2015, 09:49:24 PM »
Quote
Anyhow, she then said to me DH would be so proud of you, he really would.  It brought tears to my eyes and made me feel so good.  I know it shouldn't matter so much but it does...I didn't realize how much I needed to hear that.

ManutesGirl,

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with wanting/needing an encouraging word once in a while, even when we are doing a pretty good job by ourselves. And it is particularly comforting when it comes from someone whom we love and respect. As widowed people we have lost our "encourager in chief", and our inner child still yearns for that occasional pat on the back, hearing a voice that says: "Well done!"

"Instruction does much, but encouragement everything."

― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Conversely, if we never hear any positive feedback from a valued source, even success can feel like a hollow victory. I am so glad that you have such a kind and supportive mother-in-law. Enjoy this gift and blessing!





"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame
by another human being.
Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light."

~~ Albert Schweitzer


Congratulations on your achievements and setting goals for yourself, and good luck with your first triathlon!

ATJ  :)
« Last Edit: May 16, 2016, 07:49:31 PM by A Tout Jamais »
"Tu n'es plus là où tu étais, mais tu es partout là où je suis."
~~ Victor Hugo

"Je me souviens de toi ... Je me souviens de nous  - Il était une fois -  Je me souviens de tout!"

Mizpah

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Re: I know it shouldn't matter so much...
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2015, 08:44:32 AM »
It matters.  Sometimes it (knowing he would be proud and having that validated by someone else's observation/opinion - someone who knew him and loved him) is the only thing that matters.  Go you! 
widowed 2011 (DH 28)