Author Topic: Still sleeping on "your side" of the bed?  (Read 2187 times)

Kater

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Still sleeping on "your side" of the bed?
« on: July 08, 2016, 01:57:06 AM »
i have a king size bed and have stayed on my side.  I don't move around much when I sleep so am pretty much using only about a third of the bed (my 15 lb dog seems to enjoy and freely use the remaining two-thirds).  Sucks to change sheets on such a big bed when so little has been used.  I have changed little on his nightstand.  I did not even update his clock when the time changed...still feels like it is his still.

Just curious if you all are sticking to your side, or spreading out?


Wheelerswife

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Re: Still sleeping on "your side" of the bed?
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2016, 05:18:46 AM »
I started sleeping on DH1's side of the bed the night he died. I stayed on his side even after getting married to my second DH. I'm still on DH1's side. Maybe I always will be?

Maureen
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Trying

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Re: Still sleeping on "your side" of the bed?
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2016, 06:44:09 AM »
I'm coming up on 3 years and have not crossed the imaginary in our king sized bed. I don't even think of it as much any more as his side of the bed, I think it's more of a habit after 20 years of marriage. 
You will forever be my always.

daysofelijah

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Re: Still sleeping on "your side" of the bed?
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2016, 09:36:54 AM »
I got rid of "our" bed this last winter. I didn't need a king sized bed anymore, no babies need to sleep with me anymore which was the main reason we moved to the king sized. Also it was too weird sharing the bed with someone else besides dh. So I "down-graded" to a nice queen sized and when bf is not here I sleep right in the middle. It took a long time to get to this point though.
Amy, mom to four (14,13,9,5)

Jen

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Re: Still sleeping on "your side" of the bed?
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2016, 12:35:36 PM »
I got a new bed when I moved at about 9 months out, and I purposefully chose to sleep on the opposite side of what was "my" side-- so I guess I now sleep on "his" side, or what would have been, but he never saw this bed. I fill up the other side with pillows, books, and stuffed animals (don't judge me, lol) and I don't migrate much. I got new sheets, new pillows, and a new duvet... but here's something odd: sometimes I get into bed and it *smells* like him. Just for a minute-- I'm not trying to suggest anything paranormal here, but I can't figure out where it comes from. Odd, but vaguely comforting, so I don't try to hard.
I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. ~Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

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MrsDan

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Re: Still sleeping on "your side" of the bed?
« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2016, 12:51:24 PM »
I'm in the second home I've moved to since he died, but I still have our bed. I still sleep on my side, except when my boyfriend sleeps over, then I have him take my side. I've been trying to transition over to DH's side permanently the last few weeks actually, but just can't seem to do it. Instead I switch my pillows around when boyfriend sleeps over. It's funny, it feels weird sleeping on Dan's side, but it feels wrong for my boyfriend to have it.
You are the Bear of my heart dear,
And nothing can take that away.

Mizpah

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Re: Still sleeping on "your side" of the bed?
« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2016, 01:09:44 PM »
I'm way out, but back when DH first died, I immediately started sleeping on his side.  I felt like I wanted to be as close to him as possible.  I wanted to be him.  I wanted to be near him. 
widowed 2011 (DH 28)

twin_mom

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Re: Still sleeping on "your side" of the bed?
« Reply #7 on: July 25, 2016, 08:37:34 PM »
I slept on my side for months, then one night I was "fuck it" and slept diagonally across both sides. I did this for over a year until ng moved in... Then I had to relearn to sleep on "my side".  :D

sdarrah1130

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Re: Still sleeping on "your side" of the bed?
« Reply #8 on: July 26, 2016, 07:27:07 AM »
I still slept on "my side" at my old house with old bed.  However, I did/do have a pillowcase made out of one of his flannels that I sleep with.  I would find my self waking up on "his side" or close to middle. 
When I started dating NG, I would not let him into my bedroom/bed.  We always slept in the spare room.

15 months later, New house, new furniture, new mattress.  Now I am forced to sleep on "his side" due to configuration.  It doesn't bother me at all and most of the time I end up in the middle of the bed sprawled out and I still sleep with the flannel pillow (except when NG is over). 
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SemperFidelis

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Re: Still sleeping on "your side" of the bed?
« Reply #9 on: July 28, 2016, 12:07:28 PM »
I am in a similar camp as Jen.

For the first three months I slept on the couch.  I just couldn't bring myself to sleep in there without him.  Three months in I bought a new bed frame and pretty new bedding and painted my accent wall a different color. I also ditched his grandmas painting that hung above it and hung something he painted specifically for me. For me it was important to reclaim that space as mine and make it new. To that end, I also started sleeping on the opposite side of the bed. All these different factors make me feel like no one is missing from bed..... My old sleeping situation left with my husband.


SK

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Re: Still sleeping on "your side" of the bed?
« Reply #10 on: July 29, 2016, 02:45:22 PM »
Mostly stick to my side of the bed simply because it's closer to the bathroom.  ;)   Many nights though, I lie across the entire bed, feet on my side, head on Bruce's side. 
poco a poco

Julester3

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Re: Still sleeping on "your side" of the bed?
« Reply #11 on: August 22, 2016, 10:33:35 PM »
The first night I had to sleep in our bed without him, I was having an anxiety attack so I quickly decided to sleep in his spot so to change my perspective. It helped honestly and I am still on his side of the bed.

Funny thing is I don't move as much as my husband did so fixing the bed in the morning is as simply as smoothing out the sheets and blanket. He was a mover so I used to fix the bed from scratch every morning.

TornApart

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Re: Still sleeping on "your side" of the bed?
« Reply #12 on: October 30, 2016, 02:34:20 AM »
As soon as the doctors told me he wasn't going to wake from his operation, I moved to his side of the bed and am still there almost 4 years later, even after having moved house. Even when ex-NG was staying with me, he slept on 'my side' and not on my late husband's side. Would have felt weird having him 'replace' my husband. We had just bought the expensive king-size a year before, so I couldn't afford to replace it.
"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." Kahlil Gibran

MrsDan

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Re: Still sleeping on "your side" of the bed?
« Reply #13 on: November 02, 2016, 11:25:22 AM »
I made the switch a few weeks ago now, and I'm pretty much used to it. My dog is another story...
You are the Bear of my heart dear,
And nothing can take that away.

Adley

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Re: Still sleeping on "your side" of the bed?
« Reply #14 on: November 02, 2016, 02:36:26 PM »
We often joked about not having a side, and we never did, all 8 years. Never experienced that, before or since. From futon to california king, we were just comfortable.  I slept on the couch for a long time after she died, then I was ok with sleeping on it. I remarried for a tumultuous 4 months and I gave her the (our old ck) bed and everything else that wasn't nailed down. I've got a new bed and new furniture, but I don't want to sleep in our old bedroom anymore. Now I actually like sleeping on a blanket on the living room floor. Huh. Come to think of it, that's where we started when Jessica first came down. No wonder I like it. Damn there's a trigger
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