Author Topic: Here comes the "This time last year spiral down for me..."  (Read 1944 times)

robunknown

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  • Widowed October 2014
Here comes the "This time last year spiral down for me..."
« on: March 19, 2015, 09:37:32 AM »
Its only been 5.5 months since she passed. But come Saturday will be the a year from what was, the beginning of the final downward spiral, it was kicked off by her oncologist telling her, she should "get her affairs in order" as she was being admitted to the hospital.

I try to keep pushing this fact away, because she lived for another 6.5 months, but it stands out quite vividly because this date is also my birthday.

Carey

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  • Widowed 11/23/13 Joined YWBB 12/2/13
Re: Here comes the "This time last year spiral down for me..."
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2015, 10:32:24 AM »
Oh Honey.  I am so very very sorry.
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter

swilson

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Re: Here comes the "This time last year spiral down for me..."
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2015, 12:29:58 PM »
I'm sorry, these sadiversary dates are like a kick in the gut. :'(
 May you reflect on the changes that have happened, on how far you?ve come and on how you might honor her memory.
~ she's gone to Heaven so I've got to be good, so I can see my baby when I leave this world ~

lcoxwell

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Re: Here comes the "This time last year spiral down for me..."
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2015, 05:52:06 PM »
I am so sorry that you had to received such terrible, horrible news on your birthday, of all days.  Things just aren't fair, sometimes.  Hang in there, though.  Take care of yourself, as best as you can, and remember to just take slow, deep, concentrated breaths, if things get too hard.
"The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude." - Thornton Wilder

Thank you, my dearest Kenneth, for loving me and for giving me the best 13 years of my life.

Kamcho

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Re: Here comes the "This time last year spiral down for me..."
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2015, 05:54:06 PM »
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« Last Edit: June 04, 2015, 07:34:09 AM by Kamcho »

mixelated

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Re: Here comes the "This time last year spiral down for me..."
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2015, 07:06:48 PM »
Robunknown, I am sorry you are feeling that pain again. Hang in there... breathe... may you have strength and peace this week.

robunknown

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  • Widowed October 2014
Re: Here comes the "This time last year spiral down for me..."
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2015, 08:38:50 AM »
It was a great birthday. I made sure I was busy with family friends the whole day. It kept me from staring into the abyss too much.

Dahlia

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  • And I am rich in all I have lost. S. Sassoon
Re: Here comes the "This time last year spiral down for me..."
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2015, 11:43:35 PM »
I am so glad you handled the day so well! Eight days after my husband died was the 24th anniversary of our first date (on St. Patrick's Day). I was dreading it, but my daughter and I sat watching a sunset over the ocean and just at the exact same moment when my husband and I kissed for the first time, a humpback whale started breaching himself over and over in the water. After a while he got tired and just started slapping the water with his tail. I felt like we get little gifts, little graces, through friends, family, nature, the things we love to help fill the void of the massive grace we got from the one we loved best.

Our wedding anniversary is coming up, so who knows how awful that will be. But your experience is a reminder that I need to get out in the world and find joy and beauty on that day even as I want to stay inside under the covers crying.

BrokenHeart2

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Re: Here comes the "This time last year spiral down for me..."
« Reply #8 on: March 28, 2015, 08:35:49 PM »
I too remember going into the abyss of knowing it was the end. It's coming up but not as raw because I'm coming onto 2 yrs but fuck it still hurts. I'm so sorry it happened on your Birthday. My heart is hurt for you.  Sounds like you had an ok day so I'm thinking I'd like to say Happy belated Birthday but I get it. Maybe you might be thinking "yeah, whatever". I so get that too
I hope you find some peace at this heart wrenching time
Hugs to you Robunknown
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.