Author Topic: About to lose it in the airport  (Read 481 times)

Tatianakm

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About to lose it in the airport
« on: August 22, 2016, 08:49:23 PM »
I am sitting at the airport and waiting to board yet again delayed flight- flying for business first time since my husband died. Not sure if it is 6 months mark approaching or just general crappy mood, this is so unbearably lonely. Airport was usually a fun place, exciting traveling to fun vacation destination or anticipating getting home and sharing all the details of a business trip. Now I am facing a horrible realization that nobody really is waiting for me, nobody really cares if I make it back, nobody, nobody.What all of this is for then? And when is it going to end? Missing him so strongly...yet have to clench my jaw and carry on. Sorry for the pity party...
To the whole world you were one person; to me you were the whole world.

Kater

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Re: About to lose it in the airport
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2016, 09:05:22 PM »
Sending you a hug. I get it.  First trip I took for work was exactly the same.  I was fine, but when I walked into the hotel room - the same one I stayed in a few times before, always by myself - I lost it.  Totally and completely lost it (not even sure the door behind me was closed yet).  Who was waiting for me to text them I was ok?  It was so, so lonely.

On a positive note, you are doing it.  You are getting the "first" out of the way.  I keep going hoping each time will be a little bit easier than the last. 

It all just sucks. 

Julester3

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Re: About to lose it in the airport
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2016, 09:29:03 PM »
Also sending a hug. The girls and I flew without Josh for the first time this summer for a small vacation and it was so very hard to simply hold it all in and not react so we didn't all start blubbering. Every single first we experience without our loved ones are hard but we have to try to move past them.