Author Topic: 14 days  (Read 937 times)


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14 days
« on: August 29, 2016, 09:05:58 AM »
Hello to all  recently lost my DW after a battle with cancer she was 37.  I thought (yes delusional) going through a very difficult year that I was ready for her passing, it has come as such a shock and have been through so many emotions in such a brief time don't know what to expect next.  I am seeing our 13 year old daughter cope so well early days but she has been my rock.  Is great to find a site like this as locally (Perth Aus) it's like you're on your own and with little extended family close by loneliness is my biggest issue atm.  Generally think we're doing ok but the unknown is pretty intimidating.


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Re: 14 days
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2016, 10:25:03 AM »
I'm so sorry for the loss of your wife. I think no matter if our spouses die suddenly (as mine did) or after a long illness, there is no way to be prepared for their actually being gone. I remember for the first few months, I was so shocked my husband T had died. Then that morphed into me really starting to realize what his death meant for me, as in I was actually not going to see him again and would have to go on without him. The loneliness is one of the hardest things to deal with, IMO. I'm glad you found this resource, as there are a bunch of truly lovely people who here understand the depth of the grief, etc.. It seriously has been a lifeline for me. I hope you will find comfort here as well.
Without you, Baby, I'm not me.


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Re: 14 days
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2016, 03:45:15 PM »

I'm sorry you had to join our club.  I knew when I met my first husband that he would not live to be an old man because he had a progressive disease.  At the end of his life, he required care 24/7.

I have stated this before, but I think it mirrors how you feel:  I was very well prepared for him to die, but I was not prepared for him to be dead.

The pain I felt after he died was immense sadness.  The day I had dreaded for 18 years had arrived.  I don't think anything can prepare us for them to really be gone. 

Hugs to you.  I'm so sorry for your loss.

Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

Empathy  Developer  Responsibility  Adaptability Connectedness


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Re: 14 days
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2016, 06:21:59 PM »
I'm sorry for the loss of your wife. I lost my husband 13 weeks ago in an accident and I have a daughter that I'm left to raise on my own also.

I just wanted to tell you that there are people here who understand what you're going through and we'll be here to listen anytime you need to vent. Take care of yourself and your daughter the best that you can right now and just take things one day at a time. For me the future is too overwhelming so I try not to think too far ahead. Hugs.


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Re: 14 days
« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2016, 07:52:45 PM »
I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband to a heart attack 4 1/2 months ago. He was only 40. I too have a (soon to be) 13 year old daughter. Her birthday is Saturday. She has been a good person to talk things out with and she asks thoughtful questions that gives us all peace of mind. I think the phenomenal support she has received from school has been vital to her ability to cope. My 16 y.o. is sort of at the point of avoidance but she will listen and give her thoughts now and then. I do talk most with my 13 y.o. and it's really helped me gain perspective and given me some strength. The best thing about this site is that we can be here for you any time just one post away.