Author Topic: Can I ask for support?  (Read 2220 times)

Ruth

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Can I ask for support?
« on: September 04, 2016, 11:44:51 AM »
I'm having a really hard day today, after several days of struggling badly already. At the moment I'm making some really hard and painful decisions and the emotional turmoil is getting too much. Right now I just miss Michael even more. I wish he could hold me for a minute, so I could feel safe, even if it's just for one moment. I feel so alone and heartbroken in all this. I'm sorry...

Ruth
As your wife I was proud and honoured, as your widow I will be too.
You died the way you lived - trying to do what was right.

Jen

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Re: Can I ask for support?
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2016, 12:08:24 PM »
(((((((HUGS))))))))

Please don't be sorry. I've been struggling lately as well, and I've been too cowardly to post. I hate that I'm so lonely and miserable, no matter what I try to do. I need change, but I can't even figure out what I want, let alone how to get it. Nothing helps, and I'm ready to just quit... everything. :-\

I'm sorry you're dealing with hard decisions. I'm tired of always being "where the buck stops." It's not fair that everything falls on our shoulders. I would given just about anything to feel safe and loved again, just for a little while...

I don't think I'm helping much, but I'm here and I can listen. I don't want to say I know how you feel, but I bet I come close.

more hugs,

Jen
I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. ~Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

"Dying is easy. Living is hard. ~George Washington, Hamilton

JeanGenie

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Re: Can I ask for support?
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2016, 03:59:31 PM »
Ruth,
Do not apologize!  And of course you can ask us for support!  That is what we're here for...and we get it!  This is all so difficult and I'm sorry you're struggling.  Sending your virtual {{hugs}}.

Same to you too, Jen!  I hear ya about being cowardly.  I try to keep it all together as well but sometimes the loneliness gets too be too much.  I'm glad you posted and more virtual {{hugs}} for you too!
I miss how happy I was with you.

alemja

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Re: Can I ask for support?
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2016, 03:40:09 AM »
((((((((Huge, Huge hugs Ruth))))))))))

Hold on, this horribly rough patch will pass, take a deep breath and just keep holding on.

SoVerySad

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Re: Can I ask for support?
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2016, 07:46:35 AM »
I'm glad to offer my support, Ruth. That is what we are here for. I totally get wanting just a few minutes of that security we used to get from being held close by our loves. It was so beautifully powerful and allowed us to rest our minds. I miss it so much.

Sending you tight hugs...
Without you, Baby, I'm not me.

donswife

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Re: Can I ask for support?
« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2016, 08:04:03 AM »
No reason to apologize Ruth
we all get it and are here to support
and let you know you are not alone in these feelings
this is all so hard and I am sorry you are having a hard day
take care
My everything

Trying

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Re: Can I ask for support?
« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2016, 08:21:36 AM »
Adding my support, we all get those extra tough days.  Being faced with difficult decisions without our partner by our side can be very triggering.  Wishing you brighter days ahead.
You will forever be my always.

Ruth

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Re: Can I ask for support?
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2016, 08:33:58 AM »
I'm a bit overwhelmed by all your kind responses - thank you!

Jen, I'm so sorry you're struggling as well ((hugs))
Jean, thank you for your support and saying it's ok to ask ((hugs))
Alemja, thank you, sometimes it's hard to remember to *breathe*! ((hugs))
SoVerySad, yes it was really powerful ((hugs))
Donswife, thank you for reassuring me I'm not the only one ((hugs)) if ok
Trying, I appreciate you reminding me this is normal ((hugs)) if ok
As your wife I was proud and honoured, as your widow I will be too.
You died the way you lived - trying to do what was right.

AprilRain

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Re: Can I ask for support?
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2016, 10:26:58 AM »
Ruth, newbie here but I wanted to give you some support as well. I hope today is better than yesterday. All we can do is get through it one day at a time and there will be bad days and better days (can't say I've had a truly 'good' day yet).

I know nothing can replace being held by your beloved Michael, but I hope cyber ((((((hugs)))))) and understanding from a stranger can provide at least a small amount of comfort.

Ruth

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Re: Can I ask for support?
« Reply #9 on: September 05, 2016, 02:03:32 PM »
Thank you April, yes virtual hugs and understanding from a stranger does give some comfort. And welcome to the forum, although I'm so sorry you belong here...
As your wife I was proud and honoured, as your widow I will be too.
You died the way you lived - trying to do what was right.

geminigirl

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Re: Can I ask for support?
« Reply #10 on: September 06, 2016, 08:36:29 PM »
Another newbie here, I'm only 3 1/2 months in so I don't have any words of wisdom but I just wanted to give you a virtual hug since you were so kind to offer me support on my thread. It just sucks, that's the best I can come up with but we're all here for support. It's not much but it's something. Big (((hugs))) to you!

Needytoo

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Re: Can I ask for support?
« Reply #11 on: September 09, 2016, 05:23:23 AM »
Support given. 

If does help to discuss our problems with people like us. That get it. 

Hugs to you.

Amor

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Re: Can I ask for support?
« Reply #12 on: September 10, 2016, 08:29:48 PM »
Wishing you peace.  One wise person here once posted grie is like waves sometimes they are small and sometimes they knock you off your feet. 
Wishing you peace.
Amor

Ruth

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Re: Can I ask for support?
« Reply #13 on: September 12, 2016, 02:35:16 AM »
Sorry for being late...

Geminigirl, thank you for the hugs ((hug))
Needytoo, ty for your support and hugs ((hug))
Amor, ty for the wishes, and yes, it is like waves indeed

I'm still struggling, as the finalizing of the decision still has to be done, but I'm doing a bit better. It's just hard, all of this, and sometimes I just don't wanna do it...
As your wife I was proud and honoured, as your widow I will be too.
You died the way you lived - trying to do what was right.

Julester3

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Re: Can I ask for support?
« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2016, 08:11:41 AM »
I hope you are doing okay today. I hope you can work on making decisions. I felt making decisions, even though as hard as they may be, helped me feel a little bit better as if I accomplished something. It's like clearing a few hurdles though you know you have a long race to still run. I totally relate just not wanting to do things sometimes.

Hugs.