Author Topic: Death Anniversary issue  (Read 2102 times)

Mizpah

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Re: Death Anniversary issue
« Reply #15 on: September 30, 2016, 09:59:14 AM »
While I get what MrsDan is saying and agree to an extent (certainly that it's petty to get worked up about your own birthday), I *DO* get "making a big deal out of" your own birthday, even as an adult.  Life is beautiful and to be celebrated in my mind.  My life, your life, my lover's life, DH's life.  The anniversary of the day someone is born is an opportunity to make them feel special.  (Now, I'm coming at this from the perspective of someone who never used to care, but then DH loved his own birthday and we celebrated it for a week each year, and loved mine too, and it got a bit contagious - I insisted that NG and I go to St. Lucia to celebrate his 40th last year, even though we're broke - you only turn 40 once, you're important to me, I want to celebrate you!) 
widowed 2011 (DH 28)

patriciad

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Re: Death Anniversary issue
« Reply #16 on: October 16, 2016, 02:11:43 PM »
My second husband's birthday is the day that my first husband and I got married.  It was kind of weird at first.  When he told me his birthday all I could think is that there are 365 days in the year and his birthday had to be "our day".  But...I got used to it.  I had celebrated the day for 25 years and found myself celebrating once again with new DH.  I still think, on that day, of all the years when we would pull out our wedding album and play Lionel Ritchie singing "Truly" and celebrate us.

I realize your situation is a bit different in that the day is one of the saddest for you.  It has been 7 years for me and the death day has gotten a bit easier(and then there are other times that are just hard for no reason).  I would be very open with your guy about this.  Talk and talk and then talk some more.

I do have to say that once I got over the initial shock of the his birthday I took it as a sign that my DH had sent me that this was the one.  Corny -yes.  But you know how you just look for things or want things to be there. 

Pat