Author Topic: First Post / Introduction  (Read 1383 times)

Bill1972

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First Post / Introduction
« on: October 21, 2016, 04:08:52 PM »
My wife passed away on August 30, 2016.
I am caught off guard that I wasn't able to adequately prepare (even though I though I was prepared) given that we knew the inevitable end to our journey.  I have never felt so lonely, and time has never moved so slowly.
I'm also not prepared for the inadequacy of other peoples understanding.  I have never felt so misunderstood.

I do have a couple of role models.  One is my fathers friend who lost his wife about 30 years ago.  He has since remarried and has been successful in family life and professionally.  I talked to him when I went 'home' for thanksgiving and was stunned to see tears rolling down his face.  I knew I would always love my wife, but I didn't expect to always cry for her. 

klim

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Re: First Post / Introduction
« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2016, 07:10:38 PM »
Sorry about the loss of  your wife. This is a great place to feel understood. read,post and feel the support.

Hugs
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Julester3

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Re: First Post / Introduction
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2016, 11:39:14 PM »
Sorry for your loss. It's good you know someone and have access to them to talk to in real life. Virtual life is great in that we have another way to access support especially if we don't want to do it in person but after I had done some group counseling, I found it was beneficial to have a real person/people who went through the same thing to talk to and give you emotional and perspective feedback right then. It can be powerful, inspiring, hopeful and helpful.

I also still have issues with the perception of the passing of time. It feels to me as it's not moving as it always has been but I know it is because looking at the calendar and watching us flip from month to month. I understand it really is just me. 

Hugs for the weekend.

Mrskro

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Re: First Post / Introduction
« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2016, 09:21:37 AM »
I am so sorry for your loss.  I think you will find you will be understood here.

Hugs

JeanGenie

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  • Widowed 4-22-2013
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Re: First Post / Introduction
« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2016, 10:23:36 AM »
Bill, Sorry that you are now part of this group, but know that this is a great place to find understanding and support and some truly great friends. Some of my current best friends I found due to this board and we have formed a bond outside this virtual world as well.
I miss how happy I was with you.

Wheelerswife

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Re: First Post / Introduction
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2016, 11:34:32 AM »
Hi, Bill.

Welcome to our little community.  I resonate with you when you say you thought you were prepared.  In hindsight, I realize that I was prepared for my first husband to die, but I wasn't prepared for him to be dead.  That's an entirely different animal.  It hasn't been that long for you, but it is certainly a good time to connect with others who understand.  This board and its predecessor have been lifelines for me -  and like JeanGenie, I have met many people from this board...including her.  It sounds like you are Canadian, since you have passed the first holiday of Thanksgiving (holidays can be really hard).  Hang in there, find others with whom you resonate, and don't be afraid to make some connections here.

Maureen
Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

Empathy  Developer  Responsibility  Adaptability Connectedness

donswife

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Re: First Post / Introduction
« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2016, 05:47:45 PM »
Hi Bill ,
So sorry you have to be here but glad you found us.
This forum has been a great comfort for me and I hope it is for you also.
Take Care

My everything

SoVerySad

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Re: First Post / Introduction
« Reply #7 on: October 24, 2016, 10:47:54 PM »
I'm so sorry for the loss of your wife. I remember how long the days seemed in the first year after my husband died. It seemed like one day took a week to get through. At 3.5 years out, time is back to regular for me now, so I can offer encouragement that it will start moving more quickly for you as well. Like others have stated, the members of this forum and its predecessor, and the friends I have made here, have been a lifeline for me. There is comfort in another understanding the depth of your heartache and not judging you for expressing how much it sucks. To be able to be real in expressing your feelings really helps.

Hugs to you!
Without you, Baby, I'm not me.

beth_krkswidow

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Re: First Post / Introduction
« Reply #8 on: October 27, 2016, 03:07:59 PM »
Hi Bill,

I'm brand new here.  But your sentence, "I'm also not prepared for the inadequacy of other peoples understanding." resonated loud and clear.

I am so sorry.  So sorry we're all here.
"Until my last breath, I loved you more than life itself." ~Kirk, in his envelope to be opened only upon his death.  And now I to you, My Love, until my last breath...

Bill1972

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Re: First Post / Introduction
« Reply #9 on: October 30, 2016, 01:15:39 PM »
Today marks two months.  Time is still moving very slowly.  Feels like it happened years ago.  I am thankful for this site bringing me others experiences.  I have gotten some comfort knowing that I am not alone.  I have also joined a local group of “young widows and widowers” from meetup.com and even if sometimes I really don’t feel like going, I do go and end up benefiting from being physically around others that get it (even if I end up crying sometimes).  My biggest benefits are from interacting with other widows/ers because I can see there is life after I get through some of this grief.   I am being encouraged to go to grief counselling, and may end up taking that route.

MR

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Re: First Post / Introduction
« Reply #10 on: November 01, 2016, 04:10:20 PM »
Hi Bill,
I lost my wife on the same day too. Hopefully things will get better soon.

Hugs
MR