Author Topic: The Fun of New Beginnings  (Read 1781 times)

arneal

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The Fun of New Beginnings
« on: October 25, 2016, 05:34:18 PM »
Hi all:

Consider this my junior high moment of the day :) So NG and I started joking about earning prizes for various things about a month ago. How it started was that I had posted an image on social media and asked if anyone knew the source; he did and I made a comment about him having won the prize. Later, he made a post and said something about whoever could guess the answer would get extra points. I guessed and the next time we were face to face, I joked about wanting a prize. Anyway, we kept it going and during his business trip, he brought me back an American Native-made necklace and earring set for my prize. Absolutely beautiful. I am still over the moon about it as you can probably tell.

I wanted to share because I think we sometimes get so caught up in what is or what isn't said or done. He's not an overly wordy person but shows how much he cares through his actions, like being a gentleman (opening doors, walking along the curb, pulling out chairs), holding hands, and being cuddly. We post here about how strange the dating world is, particularly if we haven't been part of it for a long time or ever. I hope this encourages you to hang in there, to look for the signs if you don't hear the words, and believe the best is yet to come. Hugs, all!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

SemperFidelis

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Re: The Fun of New Beginnings
« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2016, 06:00:59 PM »
Aww, sweet :-) Sounds like he has very good taste too!

My NG woo'd me in the beginning with gifts of ammunition....several boxes of shotgun shells, lol.  I guess he knew the way to my heart! 

arneal

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Re: The Fun of New Beginnings
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2016, 09:14:55 PM »
I love that! Funny, I knew he'd be going through Tucson on his way home; I said something about that and he asked me if I wanted something from there; I mentioned I liked the Hopi jewelry and showed him my necklace and he said I needed more charms for it. I was expecting something like that. However, I'd also said I'd be jealous if he was going through Tucumcari, NM because that's where the wind chime/bell I have next to my front door is from and I really liked it there. So what does he do? He buys me this set from New Mexico. Knowing that he listens to stuff like that is fabulous :)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

SemperFidelis

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Re: The Fun of New Beginnings
« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2016, 10:06:22 PM »
No kidding, what a smart guy!

Captains wife

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Re: The Fun of New Beginnings
« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2016, 09:16:31 AM »
I'm very happy for you - thanks for posting. He seems VERY thoughtful : )

 I also recently met someone who is amazing and I am really enjoying dating him, even though its early days right now. (I'm also happy I didn't throw in the towel as I was getting very fed up with dating). One key thing I learned from him (which he shared with me) was about the "5 Love Languages" - and not everyone speaks the same love language. And affection, support, love, caring can come in many different forms. Luckily we seem to speak the same "love language" on certain levels.

arneal

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Re: The Fun of New Beginnings
« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2016, 11:07:06 AM »
Yes, Captains Wife, that is so true and I am trying to keep that in mind as well. I am still learning what my own love language is as I learn his ...

Also glad you didn't give up! You go, girl!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

SunshineFL

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Re: The Fun of New Beginnings
« Reply #6 on: October 27, 2016, 06:24:38 AM »
Read this article this morning and thought you might see some good points here, too, so thought I'd share. Arneal, I hope it is okay that I contributed to your thread; it seemed appropriate to "new beginnings."

Article: I May be Remarried, but I'm Still a Widow

"I would not wish my pain on my worst enemy but I’d wish my perspective on the world."

"I’ve made priceless friendships with people who see the world through my lenses. I’ve changed my life according to new philosophies and adjusted my goals."

"One does not cancel out the other. I can be both a wife to a man on this earth whom I love, and the widow to a man I fulfilled my vows to — a man I will always love."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michelle-e-steinke/dear-widow-police-i-wont-_b_8234798.html


"People are not replaceable. One person does not replace another. One love is not like another love. They are different. Love is unique."

"I truly believe that great love enhances your capacity for more great love in your life. Love expands the heart — even if a hole remains."


tybec

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Re: The Fun of New Beginnings
« Reply #7 on: October 27, 2016, 08:03:23 AM »
SunshineFL,
 
Thanks for sharing that wonderfully written article.  I have been told I am single, and it isn't different from being divorced, which many here have heard as well.  I don't get unglued anymore, but this author helps understanding.

My Sunday school class did the 5 Love languages study years ago. The book was written in 1992 and the author is a Baptist pastor.  Well, it helped me and DH with our relationship, and some of the information I believe should be in any relationship class taught.  Like the fact that the newness of the relationship is euphoric but lasts an average of 6 to 18 months, and then reality sets in and the honeymoon is over and then you decide if you keep going. That the things you loved about the person at the  beginning are now the things that drive you insane!  Not to mention, most divorces occur around 3 years now, which correlates with the time period of the euphoria, getting married or moving in together, and then realizing you aren't in for the long haul. 

Well, NG and I talked about this after the first date, the next day, interestingly.  I was glad he was versed in the information.  Good stuff and makes sense with your children, too.  Thanks for sharing that CW.

tybec

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Re: The Fun of New Beginnings
« Reply #8 on: October 27, 2016, 08:48:39 AM »
Arneal,,

I am sorry.  I kinda went into Debby Downer mode. I am told I am a bit too clinical at times.  Occupational Hazard. 

Please enjoy all the wonderful parts of the  NEW!  It is fabulous, exciting and a JOY!   Can't have too much JOY!!!

SemperFidelis

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Re: The Fun of New Beginnings
« Reply #9 on: October 27, 2016, 10:20:26 AM »
Somehow or another I was raised(I am 28) with the concepts of the five love languages being talked about in my household. It became more relevant as I was moving out and into a roommate situation. But at any rate, it's an invaluable but of info, I can thank my folks for early exposure to it.

On honeymoon periods.....
The relationship pattern NG and I have had has been an odd one. I definitely was aware of and watched his rise and fall of euphoria. I never reached a state of euphoria, nor did I have a honeymoon stage like he did. But I experienced a marked rise in overall delight and joy about 10 or 11 months in with NG. The hardest parts of the relationship for me were the first six to nine months....no honeymoon period for me to speak of despite how amazing NG is. It took me a long time to get there. But I think part of me needed to see that he was going to still be around after HIS excitement wore off......I couldn't begin to have a smiling heart until I saw that this would be a lasting thing.

RobFTC

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Re: The Fun of New Beginnings
« Reply #10 on: October 27, 2016, 11:44:18 AM »
The five love languages is an interesting way to look at things, and was something I discussed with the last woman I dated - it was interesting that we happened to line up on our top need (physical touch).  Just becoming aware that what you like to receive and/or what you naturally want to give may not line up with what your partner needs is a pretty good nugget by itself.

Take care,
Rob T
There was something fishy about the butler.  I think he was a Pisces, probably working for scale.

arneal

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Re: The Fun of New Beginnings
« Reply #11 on: October 27, 2016, 12:07:38 PM »
tybec - don't you dare apologize :) Thanks for sharing as I tend to be overly clinical as well. LH used to tell me to lighten up all the time (psych undergrad major/English minor, counseling ed masters, ed doctorate, online teaching post-doc ... total nerd here lol). I find that I am now in a place of freedom as it were after being his caregiver basically full time for our last year together. I am certainly in a euphoric period and I think NG is too but I'm okay with that. We've spent quite a bit of time discussing our past weird, hurtful, loving, disappointing, and every other type of experience you can imagine. One night, and I might have shared this elsewhere (if so, please forgive me!), he sat me down in the kitchen -- I thought he was going to tell me we were done! However, he proceeded to tell me about a very painful experience with his ex-wife and said it had been bugging him that we hadn't talked about it. I shared something that was very difficult for me as well from my first marriage and life went on. We both got the worst of our pasts off our chests and have grown closer since. I am grateful for the progression and look forward to what happens next. I find myself imagining more but keep it in fantasy land since tomorrows are not promised. But if anything close to my dreams does develop, goody  ;D
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

SemperFidelis

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Re: The Fun of New Beginnings
« Reply #12 on: October 27, 2016, 07:55:47 PM »
Aww, Arneal thank you for sharing that moment of sharing between you and NG. So simple and beautiful.