Author Topic: What if...  (Read 634 times)

Blue green

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What if...
« on: November 06, 2016, 09:51:01 PM »
It's been 13 weeks and 11 1/2 hours. I'm worried that it hasn't even hit me yet. What if I've been fooling myself all this time by getting up every day and doing what has to be done and feeling okay or even good some days? I'm worried I'll have a huge meltdown if this is the case. Tonight has been hard. He would always come in the kitchen and give me a hug. I want so much for him to hug me and to rest my head on his chest, then ask him what's on the agenda for tomorrow. Feeling so much sadness.


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Re: What if...
« Reply #1 on: November 06, 2016, 11:00:39 PM »
I am at 14 weeks and I have had similar thoughts. How am I functioning? How am I having an OK day?  Is all of this real or was it/is it all a dream?

I think the reality is that we are all going to have good days and horrific days and that we cannot expect more. Our husbands loved us dearly, and we them, but they would not want us to remain broken forever.  They would want bus to find a path forward which allows us to find some peace or happiness  for the rest of our mortal existence.

This is what I am telling myself and the  only thing keeping me centred. I hope you are able to find some peace and stability too.

We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same....and I choose strong!


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Re: What if...
« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2016, 09:35:32 AM »
Hi Blue Green,
Hugs from all of us if that helps. It has been almost 10 weeks since I lost her. Everyday i still feel it is a dream and someone will wake me up. Don't know what item will make me smile and next time same item makes me cry.