Author Topic: 11 crazy days and it hit me.  (Read 795 times)

Jen81287

  • Member
  • Posts: 2
11 crazy days and it hit me.
« on: November 16, 2016, 11:16:56 PM »
Im 29,  my husband was 32, we had been together 10 years married 4. We also had a 6 year old and a 1 year old together.  He died of what appeared to be some sort of very sudden organ failure on the 5. I won't know more about that for some time.  But the last 11 days have been chaotic to say the least. With a whole lot of help from my mother in law and some friends,  his funeral,  and our house was packed and planned in a week.  Then we took the 3 day drive cross country to move with family.  This evening was really the first opportunity I had to take a breath,  and when I did everything hit me like a ton of bricks.  It felt as if it was in that moment my soul had finally shattered under the stress,  I found myself not wanting to go on. My stomach has started acting the way it did when my father died,  sporadic sharp stabbing Pains.  It one day it will pass,  but when it started last time I wasn't able to eat for weeks. Anything would aggravate it,  even the smallest sip of water.  And here it is,  starting again at the loss of my husband.  I am reaching out for someone who knows the loss.  It feels like I really could die of a broken heart.

Portside

  • Member
  • Posts: 358
Re: 11 crazy days and it hit me.
« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2016, 05:49:47 AM »
Jen - please accept my sympathies on the loss of your husband.

That sick feeling will go away in time so try to put one foot in front of the other and try to keep going.

If everything is making you sick,  try pedialyte. If you don't eat/drink you will feel even worse.

Good luck - Mike

 
The war is over for me now. But those of us who did make it have an obligation to build again, to teach to others what we know, and to try with what's left of our lives to find a goodness and a meaning to this life.

Julester3

  • Member
  • Posts: 404
Re: 11 crazy days and it hit me.
« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2016, 08:01:24 AM »
You need to take a break and cut yourself some slack. A lot has happened in an incredible short amount of time. So of course now that you have a breather, it will hit you hard because you have just enough of a moment to process what just happened to you.

I'm sorry for your loss and that you have to join us here but we are all living this experience of losing our partners and trying to survive. I know this group has given me some sanity that I'm not crazy, not unreasonable and that validates a lot of the decisions I need to make for me and my girls.

Hugs for you. Stay hydrated and take small steps. Don't let the anxiety make you sick.

Adley

  • Member
  • Posts: 131
Re: 11 crazy days and it hit me.
« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2016, 08:03:30 AM »
Jen, I'm sorry. We roadtripped and relocated 2 weeks after my wife died. Totally overwhelming. If i could offer any advice, take your time and mourn now in your own way. Accept help from friends and family, but don't let the scrutiny and expectations of others vex you; you have enough to worry about. Live, cry, hydrate, hug your kids, eat when you can, live!
Here's to my pretty young wife     sleepin amongst the stars           now they say what's hers is mine but I know what's ours is ours

beth_krkswidow

  • Member
  • Posts: 211
Re: 11 crazy days and it hit me.
« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2016, 08:46:02 AM »
I am so so sorry, Jen.

You have come to the right place.

Just so sorry the right place is here.

One day at a time,  one moment at a time,

Hugs to you
"Until my last breath, I loved you more than life itself." ~Kirk, in his envelope to be opened only upon his death.  And now I to you, My Love, until my last breath...

MR

  • Member
  • Posts: 220
Re: 11 crazy days and it hit me.
« Reply #5 on: November 17, 2016, 09:22:57 AM »
Hi Jen,
Sorry for your loss. Not sure if it will help we all go thru the same. I am along here in Toronto with my 2 kids when my wife passed away and had to arrange everything from Funeral to rituals as we are Hindu and have lots of rituals. On top of that one kid has to go to uni 3 days after funeral and other has to start in high school but one step at a time helped and was able to go thru all this along with going back to work as was away for more than a month and it was chaos at work too. Once got some time to breath I realized what will be the life ahead and felt broken but kept moving one day at a time. So please take your time to grief even if it means crying whole day and don't rush to finish stuff.
Also noticed replying to people in this forum might not help them much but does help me to take out my emotions so want to thank everyone here.

Lots of hugs.
MR

Jen81287

  • Member
  • Posts: 2
Re: 11 crazy days and it hit me.
« Reply #6 on: November 17, 2016, 11:28:02 AM »
Hi Jen,
Sorry for your loss. Not sure if it will help we all go thru the same. I am along here in Toronto with my 2 kids when my wife passed away and had to arrange everything from Funeral to rituals as we are Hindu and have lots of rituals. On top of that one kid has to go to uni 3 days after funeral and other has to start in high school but one step at a time helped and was able to go thru all this along with going back to work as was away for more than a month and it was chaos at work too. Once got some time to breath I realized what will be the life ahead and felt broken but kept moving one day at a time. So please take your time to grief even if it means crying whole day and don't rush to finish stuff.
Also noticed replying to people in this forum might not help them much but does help me to take out my emotions so want to thank everyone here.

Lots of hugs.
MR


It does help.  Knowing I'm not alone and there are others who understand first hand what I'm going through helps.  It doesn't ease the pain much,  but it somehow makes it easier to get through it.