Author Topic: She left us 3 weeks ago, my eulogy to her  (Read 723 times)

mekender

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She left us 3 weeks ago, my eulogy to her
« on: November 18, 2016, 03:11:16 PM »
I spoke these words just over 48 hours ago...

Quote
Lord, I stand before you a broken man, someone who has lost far more than just his better half, someone who has lost a part of his soul. Give me the strength to get through this without completely breaking down and help me be an example of the kind of man that you want my sons to become.

Friends and family…

Today we are gathered here to remember and honor Anne , someone who left us far before we were ready. A loving mother, dedicated wife, daughter and dear friend to many. Someone who surely would not want us sitting around feeling sad or making such a fuss over her… To paraphrase the preacher that presided over the funeral of my great grandmother nearly twenty years ago “Don’t be sad for our lost loved one, she isn’t sad any more… And don’t be thinking that she left too soon... No one was surprised when she arrived at her eternal home… Nor was anyone standing around impatiently looking at their watch because she was late… She arrived right when she was supposed to”

Over thirteen years ago, I met a bubbling, quirky woman at a bar that a friend had convinced me to go to. We hit it off a bit and spent nearly the entire night talking on the phone after that. In the weeks and months after that, we spent countless hours talking over the phone and in person getting to know each other and falling in love. Months later, during a late-night conversation, she suggested that we go down to the courthouse the next morning and get married. I being slightly inebriated agreed and by 10am that morning, we were married. I blame my father for putting that idea in her head. Once again, my father had guided my life down the right path, even if it is not one that most would have taken.

Twelve years of marriage later, I lost my dear Anne suddenly… She always threatened that she would leave me and make me take care of the kids if I kept taking her for granted, I never imagined that she would actually follow through with it!

How she managed to put up with me for all these years I will never know, but I know that I am a far better man now than I would be if she had not come into my life. I will greatly miss her love for life, her passion for family and her children and her love of cooking for others.

I will miss the quirky things about her too. I will dearly miss what we had started to call “Anne language” phrases and mispronunciations that only she could come up with. Most notably, every time she would use the word “Pacifically” when she meant “specifically” … I would always come back with a quip about how I loved the ocean and had never been to the Pacific. I am certain that my arm will be forever bruised from all of the punches I received for that reply.

Her love of photography has given me tens of thousands of snapshots into our life together that I will cherish forever and I know that she did the same for many others, some of whom are here today… I intend to preserve that legacy and make sure that many of her freeze frame windows into the world are shared with others… Thankfully, her passion rubbed off on me, so I can continue to ensure that my family has great memories to look back on for decades to come.

To Rev. Ford and the rest of the First Baptist Church family, thank you for having us here. I also want to thank you for the emotional and spiritual guidance that your church was able to offer Anne over the years. She always spoke very fondly of the people here and the things she became involved in over the years. When we had to move to the other side of Charlotte a couple of months ago, one thing she sincerely regretted was that she would be too far away to regularly come back. But thanks to the experiences she had here, she also constantly talked about trying to find a new church to call home once the dust from our move settled.

To her dear friends from MOPS and other groups… Thank you for being the friends you are, the shoulders to lean on and the confidants to whisper to. She very much enjoyed and cherished the relationships she had with you, especially since it let her get away from her busy and hectic life, if even only for the duration of the conversation. Many of you I only knew by name before this past few weeks, but I look forward to being able to talk and spend time with many of you in the days, weeks and even years to come, any one that Anne called a friend is always a friend of mine.

To our dear friends that are here and any that are not. Thank you for being a friend to both of us.
Sammantha, I know she always spoke very highly of you and the Saturday we had with your family, the weekend before she passed was one of the happiest days she had experienced in a long time. Don’t be sad that you spent so long out of contact, you were there right at the exact moment you were supposed to be in her life.

To Stephanie who could not be here today. Thank you for being the dearest of friends to Anne and for being my rock in this trying time. I could not have gotten through this without you and I will still need you over the months and years to come. You will never know how much you meant to her and to me and my children. I love you dearly.

Sarah, for being the rock that she and I could both lean on through many times that were rough. I could literally spend hours talking about all of the wonderful things you have done to be part of our lives, we appreciate it so very much and love you and your family like our own.

To Shannon and Joe, thank you for being there for us over the last few years, having a couple that we could have adult time with mattered far more than you will ever know.

To her cousins and aunt. You have been far more help than you know over these very trying days, thank you for everything you do.

To her parents, thank you so very much for raising her to become the woman I met and fell in love with. Without your guidance and love, I don’t think she could have put up with me for all these years. Indeed, I was a lost young man the first time I laid eyes on her, and over the years she helped me find many parts of my path in this life. When she and I met, she was already someone who had been through many trials in life that should have kept her from wanting to dedicate herself to someone who was as trying as I know I can be… It is through your example of how to be a loving, dedicated couple and strong parents in trying times, that she managed to help me become a far better man than I could have been without her in my life.

And finally to my amazing children. None of you should have to endure what you are facing. Each day you have all amazed me by how strong you have been in the face of what has surely been a very difficult and sad time.

To my teenage stepson, thank you for being my rock to lean on when it is just you and I… Your mother loved you far more than you will ever know. I can assure you that until you find a woman as strong as she was to love as your wife, you will not find anyone that will go to bat for you like she did. As you are well aware, she and I disagreed quite frequently about what the best direction for your young adult life would be, I made her a promise as I said my goodbyes though, that I would do everything in my power to make sure that you become a better man than I am, that is the least I can do for her. I love you dearly and we will get through this together.

To my handsome sons, you boys were the lights in your mother’s life from the day each of you were born. You have no idea how often she bragged about the good things you did in your life, even in the times she was mad at you. This is not fair, it is not something that any son should have to go through, but you are not going through this alone. I love you, I am with you and will be so long as the Lord allows me to be. And you have countless friends and family that are here today, and some that are not able to be here, who will help you find your path in life. You two will become great men one day and if you happen to find a woman to love that is even half as wonderful as your mother was, you will be very blessed.

To my dear daughter. My only daughter, my princess. You have your mother’s beauty. Which makes me know that you also have her strength. You will no doubt become an amazing woman just like your mother was. As you grow, I will be sure to always guide you down a path that will ensure that you will be a woman that your mother would be proud of. She was always so very excited for the rare mother-daughter times you two had, cherish those memories forever and I will do what I can to make sure that you never forget them. I love you as does everyone here today, we are all here if you need a shoulder to cry on or a friend to talk to.

Finally, to our dear first son Jacob whom Anne and I lost as a stillbirth baby early in our marriage. You never got to experience this world. You never got to meet your mother and I, but you are probably the single biggest reason that she and I stayed married for so long. If it were not for the love and joy you brought to us and the emotional bond we formed after your loss, we likely would have never had the other three wonderful children we have today. Anne always talked about what you might look like, always celebrated your birthday even if it was a very sad day. Now I know that she is with you and that you are accompanying her on her new path. Please help make sure that she is able to watch over me and your brothers and sister. We all love you and know that we will get to meet you one day.

All of you here today are hurting at the tragic loss of a dear friend and loved one. I share that pain with you. But good has come from bad. Anne was an organ donor and we have already gotten word that one of her gifts was used to help a similarly aged woman in the area that has a family. With any luck, her gift has given another family decades more time with their mother, sister, daughter and loved one. And with God’s grace, her gifts will continue to help others in the months and years to come. If we could say a quick prayer…

Lord, lift up those that receive the final gifts Anne was able to give in this mortal world so that they may help others. Grant them strength and good health so that they may continue to celebrate life in your name… Amen.

Anne was always giving to others, she spent our entire marriage giving to me and our children. It is only fitting that she was able to do so even after she could no longer be here with us in person. I told the doctor in the hospital when they were explaining why they had to do some of the tests on her before they could start the process “Doc, she is beyond caring in this world. You do everything you can to save other people” and I meant it.

So I leave you with this, go forth every day like it is your last. Make sure that you say “I love you” before you get off the phone with someone you care for, I was able to do that and it was the last words my wife ever heard. Cherish the moments you have with those you love, because you never know when they will be the last. But most of all, enjoy life and try to make sure that the world is a better place for having you in it. You only get to do it once. I stand here before you today confident in saying that my dear wife, Anne Maynard did exactly that. And that the world is a far better place for having had her in it, if even for a far too brief amount of time.

Thank you all for coming here and being a part of my family’s healing process, do me a favor and go out of your way to make someone else smile today!

born to run

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Re: She left us 3 weeks ago, my eulogy to her
« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2016, 05:27:51 PM »
Beautiful tribute, so beautiful. I am so sorry for your devastating loss.

TornApart

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Re: She left us 3 weeks ago, my eulogy to her
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2016, 06:22:17 AM »
This is so beautiful, mekender. I am sorry you lost your soulmate, Anne.
"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." Kahlil Gibran

MR

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Re: She left us 3 weeks ago, my eulogy to her
« Reply #3 on: November 23, 2016, 11:05:04 PM »
I am sorry for you loss mekender but your eulogy is beautiful