Author Topic: Realizing after two years, the hurt doesn't go away  (Read 1215 times)

keeptrying

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Realizing after two years, the hurt doesn't go away
« on: November 27, 2016, 05:16:42 PM »
Out of the blue, after two years, I realized the day he killed himself was the same exact day he asked me to marry him so many years before.
 I don't even know what to think about that. I miss him every second of the day. I just feel so lost without him.

Adley

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Re: Realizing after two years, the hurt doesn't go away
« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2016, 08:16:03 PM »
I lurked here a while after joining. I think this is is the third time i read all your posts. That is a major hit you just took. I can't imagine how you feel, I just want to tell you there is no way on earth he knew/thought about that when he made that decision. Hugs
Here's to my pretty young wife     sleepin amongst the stars           now they say what's hers is mine but I know what's ours is ours

WifeLess

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  • Widowed: August 2009 Remarried: June 2013
Re: Realizing after two years, the hurt doesn't go away
« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2016, 09:16:11 PM »
keeptrying,

Having met, both online and in person, a number of other survivors of their spouses' suicides, I have learned that our path towards healing can be a very long and treacherous one. Often, the pain subsides, but as you say, never goes away completely. Sorry for this difficult road you must travel.

--- WifeLess

First Widow

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Re: Realizing after two years, the hurt doesn't go away
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2016, 06:08:03 AM »
(((HUGS))) I think a part of our brains will always continue to work on solving the puzzle of making sense out of the senseless.  I can be having a great time out with friends and suddenly my brain digs up something like that and I'm frozen in horror while trying to keep a smile on my face.  The only way I've been able to put these things "away" has been through journaling.  It gives me peace for a while until my brain goes on autopilot again.
"But slowly he stole my broken heart and put the pieces back together while I wasn’t looking…and I love him."

MR

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Re: Realizing after two years, the hurt doesn't go away
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2016, 10:36:15 AM »
Huge hugs to you. When you start thinking you try to connect points. My wife had medical injury a day before we meet 20 years back and then I was told by Doctors that she is brain dead on my birthday when I was expecting her life as gift from god. More we think more this kind of connections we make. Sorry for you loss.

MR

piecesofapart

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Re: Realizing after two years, the hurt doesn't go away
« Reply #5 on: December 03, 2016, 08:51:16 PM »
You are right, the hurt does not go away...hopefully some days it's less than others. Wishing you better days...

Amor

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Re: Realizing after two years, the hurt doesn't go away
« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2017, 08:30:33 PM »
I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling.
Amor