Author Topic: Make or Break  (Read 2854 times)

SemperFidelis

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Re: Make or Break
« Reply #15 on: December 27, 2016, 11:32:47 PM »
*phew* Gawd.

Apparently my phone doesn't allow number blocking.....I tried several apps but none of them work. So I guess this means tomorrow I need to go change my number.....ridiculous. No contact is the way to go.... I have just been rationing the texting bullshit.... Turning my Phone off for hours and then back on again. Each time I respond and it's just exhausting. I even resorted to calling names, which I have never done before. I'm done with the responding now.... Why waste my time and energy? I hate feeling angry, so I just can't allow myself to go There anymore. He keeps trying to say what he did wasn't cheating....and that is soooooooo infuriating to me. Gawd. Thank god for emergency lorazepam, folks.

 Mizpah yeah, I couldn't believe the  dramatic reaction. I kinda view it as a manipulative ploy. Especially since he was lying like crazy still while grovelling. Just like when he sent a picture of him next to the toilet with vomit in it...... Total attempt at manipulation, trying to get me to feel sorry for him. Then the next day he sent a pic of him next to his grandpa's grave "swearing to be honest" lol
 
He's a horrible person. I hope he learns but doubt he will.

SunshineFL

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Re: Make or Break
« Reply #16 on: December 28, 2016, 06:11:11 AM »
Apparently my phone doesn't allow number blocking.....

... I kinda view it as a manipulative ploy. Especially since he was lying like crazy still while grovelling. Just like when he sent a picture of him next to the toilet with vomit in it...... Total attempt at manipulation, trying to get me to feel sorry for him. Then the next day he sent a pic of him next to his grandpa's grave "swearing to be honest" lol
 
He's a horrible person. I hope he learns but doubt he will.

@SemperFidelis - hang in strong, there. If you aren't sure if your phone has text blocking, you can call your provider and they can block from their end. I know on mine, I can do it both ways - through my phone but I can also log in to my account settings and specifically type in a number to block that number from calling through to my number. (But of course doesn't stop them from initiating from another number entirely.)  But if neither of those, yes, a number change.

I'm not diagnosing, but a lot (a lot!) of what you wrote about and shared here sounds like posts of patterns of behavior I've seen described online. If you are on Instagram - check out the posts on @nar_over and @whywomendontleave ... and I'm sure there are a ton more in support and enlightenment elsewhere.

Stay strong ....and safe.

wecouldbeheros

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Re: Make or Break
« Reply #17 on: December 29, 2016, 11:09:00 AM »
If it's a smartphone, go to contact number (you have to create contact first), then you should have an option to block. If it's an old phone it may not work, however I haven't seen a smartphone you can't do it on. Sorry you have seen the dark sides of people. In any case I would not get into a position to even talk with him again.

trying2breathe

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Re: Make or Break
« Reply #18 on: December 29, 2016, 04:26:21 PM »
SF  Oh wow, so sorry that you're dealing with an a** like this!   Glad that you now know what he's about, are staying strong and moving on.  Good riddance!


Agree about blocking - if that doesn't work right away, ignore his attempts to contact you.  Sounds like he's trying hard to win you back.  :P
Have I told you lately how much I love you?

SemperFidelis

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Re: Make or Break
« Reply #19 on: December 29, 2016, 10:35:56 PM »
I successfully changed my phone number. He does have my email address and has sent a lot of emails begging and pleading. Somehow getting the emails isn't as hard to cope with as the texts.....i don't get a notification when I get new email, so I only check it when I want to.....unlike text. I am emotionally detached enough that the emails aren t upsetting..... Just insightful to his manipulative ways. Here's a sample of his handy-work:

"I have been up all night throwing up again. I wish you would give me that chance to prove to you that I am really that man you have known this time. I have been think a lot about why I did what I did. I have found that yes while I did have fears you were going to break up with me because of my past I have also figured out that in my mind I elevated the issue even more. To a point that wasn't really there. But by doing so I forced myself to my past to start hating women again and disrespecting myself and you. It was never meant to go where it did. But I got caught up in the feeling of being wanted in a strange way. Even though I didn't want to be wanted that way. I felt like something was filling a void that I felt was leaving me and that was you. Even though I knew it was fake and I would never actually go there. It numbed my mind with hate and disgust and at the same time made me disgusted with myself. So I started shutting down mentally with you and I even look back and noticed I was doing it to my family also. [my name] this is not who I truly am not who I want to be towards anyone. I am begging you with ever last ounce of energy to please try to understand this was never about trying to cheat or to get any satisfaction out of any of it. It was only to try to cope with a void I was afraid that was coming. To be disgusted with everything. I am sorry for everything, I'm sorry for ever messaging you on match, because I have hurt you so much and I never wanted to. I truly love you more than anyone except my two boys. I regret that we don't have more time together to plan an amazing life. I regret you not helping raising my two boys with me. I regret not being able to explore with you. I regret not being able to sit and hold you anymore. I regret that I brought my past into our relationship. And most of all I regret not getting to see you anymore. My only hope is by the grace of a fucking miracle, is that somehow you walk back into our lives again and make me the happiest man in the world. I love you to death sexy girl. "

"Well I am half way through the book you got me("the pornography trap"). I am serious about this [my name]. I am dead serious about us and our future. I wish you would please stop by on your way home so we can talk. I want to be your husband, I want us to live together, I want us to grow old together. You have gave me so much strength while dealing with my kidney problems. I want you in my life beautiful. I will do anything, hell I would even do some public speaking to groups of people about what I did. I WILL DO ANYTHING. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DONT WALK AWAY. "

If he gets mean or something I will stop opening them. But for now no harm done..... Maybe I am sick because some part of me hopes he is actually hurting somehow.....even if he's only hurting because he got caught.

arneal

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Re: Make or Break
« Reply #20 on: December 29, 2016, 11:01:08 PM »
{{{hugs}}} Semper ...
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

wecouldbeheros

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Re: Make or Break
« Reply #21 on: December 29, 2016, 11:21:29 PM »
There is a way to know that you read his emails. Mail read. You can bypass (google it) so that it will say on his end "mail not read". Me, I would walk as far away as I could, and not look back one iota. His pattern that may be a salesman tactic. Keep communicating until the other breaks down. All okay until the next time. No one can tell you what is right, except the one question, where is your heart ? If it's not with him move on. Hoping for you.
« Last Edit: December 30, 2016, 09:13:22 AM by wecouldbeheros »

RobFTC

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Re: Make or Break
« Reply #22 on: December 30, 2016, 06:19:52 PM »
God, what a messy word salad.  I am sorry you're dealing with this, SF.

Take care,
Rob T
There was something fishy about the butler.  I think he was a Pisces, probably working for scale.

SunshineFL

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Re: Make or Break
« Reply #23 on: December 31, 2016, 07:46:12 AM »
Oh, my - oh, my @SemperFidelis - not going to quote or repost what you posted above from his manipulative, pleading messages to you - what a dark and twisted place in the recesses of his mind he is exposing to you in those emails. Talk about "teaching you who he is" - loud and clear.  So glad you got it / see it now.

Reminds me of something I just read on Instagram this morning: "As long as I didn't expose what the narcissist was really doing, the narcissist kept aggressively coming back. They see this as you being loyal regardless of what they do to you. Things change when you take a stand, stop taking blame for their lies and stop being silent. Now, they don't know what you're capable of so they don't risk it. Now focus on no contact and healing." @whywomendontleave

Good job on getting your number changed. Even though you think those emails aren't affecting you, as he keeps trying new angles to get to you, knowing you might be reading them, the words potentially can be persuasive and ultimately wear you down - or, at the very least, for a few moments, keeps your thoughts connected to him and an awareness of him as you are living and rebuilding your life without him in it.

Please consider expanding the "no contact zone" and go into your email settings and creating an "email rule" or marking his email address to direct all of those messages from his address(es) to go to spam, to junk mail, etc. They won't even be in your inbox to see and read.

Stay safe and stay strong - I hope you have wonderful plans that are just perfect for you to welcome in the New Year in any way that feels beautiful to you.  All goodness in 2017, right?

Happy New Year wishes.
SunshineFL



arneal

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Re: Make or Break
« Reply #24 on: December 31, 2016, 12:54:53 PM »
Totally agree with Sunshine. The troll I met when I first started the online thing popped up on Google Chat one day a few months after I ended contact -- I'd forgotten he had my email address. I messaged for a moment and then stopped, so he tried to call me via Hangout, which I ignored. I haven't heard from him since and deleted his information. Create that rule and keep on moving forward, Semper.
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

marjoe

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Re: Make or Break
« Reply #25 on: January 02, 2017, 05:07:00 PM »
Semper - RUN, don't walk, from this guy. He is seriously fucked up. Reading what he wrote is - disturbing, to say the least.

jeudi

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Re: Make or Break
« Reply #26 on: January 04, 2017, 06:45:47 PM »
Well...how awful. Yes, you sure did dodge a bullet with this man. Scary too. I hated that feeling of concern that I could be making a mistake when I decided to dip my toes in the dating water. Glad you figured things out and were able to extricate yourself. Regroup. Try again with your eyes wide open? Best wishes for you.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2017, 04:16:12 PM by jeudi »

jeudi

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Re: Make or Break
« Reply #27 on: January 05, 2017, 04:24:21 PM »
I read his email again today because I couldn't get it out of my head. This is truly the face of misogyny.

Quote
to start hating women again and disrespecting myself and you.


and the groveling he does towards the end, calling you sexy girl. Oh boy. Super sick and super sad. Glad you got a new number and hope that soon you will not feel compelled to read anything more he might have to say. My hunch is that a man this perverse will not have anything inside towards continuing to keep up the effort for long.

The good thing is you are now free of this man.

SemperFidelis

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Re: Make or Break
« Reply #28 on: January 10, 2017, 12:39:33 PM »
This has been a weird ride. I'm trying to get some entertainment out of it though.

I will admit, I am a bit of a sick puppy myself.... Like a cougar that kills a rabbit and plays with the half-dead rabbit for a while before eating it and moving on.  I get some satisfaction playing fuck-fuck games with this sicko. It wasn't hard for me to get him to let me do a complete pull of material off his phone..... Recovering deleted text messages and the whole nine yards. I did that around ten days ago or so. So I confirmed what should be obvious, that he was doing this witchcraft the whole time we were together...... And clearly meeting up with these women too. One of them even knew what car I drive.

I really enjoyed watching his discomfort after I told him what I was doing with his phone. I know I'm sick. But seeing the blood leave his face and his inability to even look me in the face for the whole 30mins it took for the data transfer to happen. Lol. It warmed my soul a bit. Maybe I'm not dead inside after all 😉

He keeps emailing saying he will DO ANYTHING to get me back. So I told him I really need a new vehicle, something with 4wd.....and that he could PayPal the funds to me. Lol hahaha. Also told him I would love a unicorn, been wanting one since I was a little girl.

Basically I am ignoring his emails for days at a time and I get about 15 per day. Then I fuck with him a short bit and then ignore again.  Before I lose interest in screwing with him, any ideas from anyone? Lol.

Soon I will be done messing with him though. School just started again and I have less spare time hehe.

wecouldbeheros

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Re: Make or Break
« Reply #29 on: January 11, 2017, 05:13:35 PM »
Seems like wasted energy, took all this time to change your number etc.
"Living Well, Is The Best Revenge".