Author Topic: People really suck!  (Read 906 times)

mbanyard

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People really suck!
« on: December 11, 2016, 10:38:07 PM »
Hey All,

I have come to vent....just a little, as too much will bring me crashing down...again. I have just hit a wall tonight and just need to get it off my chest. (Thanks in advance).

Why is it that people just simply cannot follow through? In the past 2 months, I have had piles of people make plans with me and then blow me off at the last minute....none of whom had a good reason at all, like a family emergency or a work issue etc. etc...they just decided they didn't want to go after THEY asked ME. (My favourite was the one who cancelled on me after I was already at the restaurant waiting for them).

While I know that the holidays brings challenges for all, and people are all really busy nd stretched very thin, I am frightfully tired of people telling me that they "understand" what I'm feeling, that they "know" it's hard to be alone in the home I shared with my DH during the holidays, that it's "good" for me to have space on my own.  Next they'll tell me that it's "awesome" for me to be clinically depressed and  "so good" that I have a quiet space to enjoy on my own. (Right up there with the person who told me I was "lucky" that I was able to pay some debts off with the life insurance monies)

LUCKY? REALLY?  I certainly don't feel "lucky" to be lonely all the time. I don't feel "lucky" that I get to be completely alone for the holidays and I don't feel "lucky" to have the "honour" or "privilege" to have gone through the traumatic death, funeral and cremation of my husband this year.

While I can understand that, thank goodness, people don't truly have a frame of reference for what we are all dealing with, but to say a person is "lucky" when they have lost their partner and soulmate seems unusually insensitive and cruel, especially right now with Christmas approaching.

I just want to smack all their heads together and tell them all how "lucky" they would be to be in my shoes. (I don't though, as I am sensitive enough to not want to ruin anybody's holiday season....no point in all of us being miserable).

There...vent done...thank you for letting me get it off my chest.
MB
We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same....and I choose strong!

Julester3

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Re: People really suck!
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2016, 08:34:17 AM »
All I have to say is ugh, ugh, ugh to these self centered, insensitive clueless people. I am amazed on how tactless people get. I had a divorced mom lump me in with her about some comment about us not having to deal with a husband anymore. Excuse me? I didn't want to get rid of him! I was happily married not on the way to a divorce! Again, insensitive and clueless people.

Hugs and patience for having to deal with all of this!

mbanyard

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Re: People really suck!
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2016, 10:07:54 AM »
Thanks Julester.

I have had 3 divorcees not only group me with them, but expect me to be their counsellor....and during my first major holiday season without my DH.

Better still was the "friend" (note the quotes) who compared my current life turmoil and upheaval to being the "same" as when she lost her job. YES>...you did read that correctly.

It is nice to know there are people here who "get it" and to whom I can come when I just cannot take it anymore.

Thanks for being one of them!
MB
We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same....and I choose strong!

beth_krkswidow

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Re: People really suck!
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2016, 08:41:20 PM »
Aaaarrrgghh! UNbelievable.

Wow. I've had some insensitive remarks, where I want to smack  them,  but not as bad as some of these!

I'm so sorry

Wish WE could get together for Christmas.  Dreading that

Hugs to you

"Until my last breath, I loved you more than life itself." ~Kirk, in his envelope to be opened only upon his death.  And now I to you, My Love, until my last breath...

mbanyard

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Re: People really suck!
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2016, 09:17:57 PM »
Me too! Oh maybe someday Beth......maybe someday!

Thanks folks,
MB
We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same....and I choose strong!

widowwithbaby

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    • God's Provisions
Re: People really suck!
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2016, 10:20:39 PM »
mbanyard - yes exactly. The same thing is happening to me. There seems to be nothing like the holiday season to remind me that I am no longer anyone's priority. Family seems to be the worst.
And I was thinking the same as Beth. Why aren't we just getting together? 
This sucks
He was killed in a failed carjacking in June 2017.
He was 38 years old.
Our baby girl was one year old and he loved us so well.

Ursula

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Re: People really suck!
« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2016, 09:28:09 AM »
MB, totally understand, go vent!! I did pagelong venting in the 'the most unsensitive things people have said' post. It helps to get it off your chest.
Yes, the missing empathy hurts. As if you were not hurting enough as it is..

I am sorry people let you hang there on your own. Why don't you three get together, sounds good. I was at one widowbago and it was great, felt 'at home' . May be a good thing for the Christmas period.

Hang in there, you are not alone.

Por que tu fuego a?n me quema, sin ti las noches son eternas,
tu aroma sigue aqu?, no me deja ir.. Por m?s que intente y quiera olvidarte, yo nunca lograre dejarte, cautivo de este amor sincero esclavo de tu voz.. Por que estoy am?ndote, so??ndose, aunque no est?s aqu?..
Y yo te esperare, amor aunque los a?os lleguen sin querer (Marc Anthony)

beth_krkswidow

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Re: People really suck!
« Reply #7 on: December 14, 2016, 09:22:24 PM »
Yeah,  too bad we're so far apart. ..
"Until my last breath, I loved you more than life itself." ~Kirk, in his envelope to be opened only upon his death.  And now I to you, My Love, until my last breath...

mbanyard

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Re: People really suck!
« Reply #8 on: December 16, 2016, 11:35:27 AM »
Indeed Beth.....being in upper Canada is a bit of a handicap on my end. At least we can stay in touch this way!

M
We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same....and I choose strong!

beth_krkswidow

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Re: People really suck!
« Reply #9 on: December 17, 2016, 10:44:21 AM »
And I'm in mid-USA. 

I don't know how people have survived this.  I really don't.
"Until my last breath, I loved you more than life itself." ~Kirk, in his envelope to be opened only upon his death.  And now I to you, My Love, until my last breath...