Author Topic: 18 month old and family issues  (Read 901 times)


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18 month old and family issues
« on: December 12, 2016, 10:04:57 PM »
My husband was killed by a random act of violence. Our baby is now 18 months old. Before he died my husband stayed home with her. Currently my sister stays with me and keeps her while I work.

Everything about this is miserable right now. I miss him so much. We decided when she was born we wanted one of us to stay home with her. Now instead I have to forever be grateful to my entitled millennial sister because all the daycare centers are either full or too expensive.

Will life ever be good again?
He was killed in a failed carjacking in June 2017.
He was 38 years old.
Our baby girl was one year old and he loved us so well.


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Re: 18 month old and family issues
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2016, 11:09:45 PM »
Hello Widdowwithbaby,

I am very sorry this horrific thing happened to your husband and your young family.  It's been 2.7 years for my kids and me. They were 6 and 4 when my husband suddenly had a stroke and passed away.

You ask... will life ever be good again? I don't know the answer to that very simple yet complex question.
I can only share my personal experience. Life has not been the same for me. I still  terribly miss him. Maybe some days more than before. I find myself more on widda then ever before lately.

I guess it has come in waves. Some good days and some bad days. Some happy days and some painful days. As the surviving parent not only do we grieve for ourselves but we grieve for our children.

I have learned its ok to accept help from others as hard as it can be for me. I also learned that I am stronger than I thought. No, I don't things got better. I think I became stronger.
The one good thing that came out of my husbands death.. Is the gift of perspective and appreciating the good in our lives while we can.This all took time for me.

Everyones journey is different. You may be early in this new journey. I hope that you are able to find that life is good again.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2016, 11:11:49 PM by MACC »
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Re: 18 month old and family issues
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2016, 05:43:14 AM »
Will life ever be good again?

Sorry to hear of your husband's passing.

Yes, it is possible that life becomes good again at some point. It may not seem like it ever could be but many of us have eventually reached that point.

A former poster here, Kate, had two small children and was pregnant with her third when her dear husband died. Oh, and going to nursing school full time. I'm still in contact with her and she has gone on to build a very good, happy life for herself and her kids.

Please don't lose hope.

Good luck, Mike
The war is over for me now. But those of us who did make it have an obligation to build again, to teach to others what we know, and to try with what's left of our lives to find a goodness and a meaning to this life.


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Re: 18 month old and family issues
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2016, 06:35:24 PM »
Mike, please tell Kate hello from me. Good to hear she is doing well!