Author Topic: Well, that was a mistake...  (Read 1426 times)

still_lost

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Well, that was a mistake...
« on: December 13, 2016, 08:51:29 AM »
I met an older man a few months ago. He is in his 60's and lost his wife. I would regularly see him at one of the shops that I go in daily. We struck up a conversation one day, and he told me his story. He was saying how hard it is around the holidays without his wife, and I could definitely relate. So we had a nice conversation, he said that he would keep me in his prayers; and gave me his number in case I ever wanted a friend who would listen. I still struggle with things even after seven years, so I called him one day. We had another good conversation, but then a few times after that, I noticed that he may be interested in me on a very different level. As I mentioned, he's in his 60's, I'm in my 30's. There's no physical attraction for me, but I wasn't looking at him in that way to begin with. His conversations then became about how if I were his woman.... And we should FaceTime and spend time together etc. I let him know that my interest in him was only as a friend. The more I spoke with him, the more I realized that he was not someone that I wanted to be involved with at all, even on a friendship level. I just hate when people use God to cover up their true intentions. He's supposedly a minister, but I don't know if I believe that. Just proof that I need to stay on my guard when it comes to people.

Bunny

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Re: Well, that was a mistake...
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2016, 06:35:17 PM »
Ah men...I suppose I kinda admire them for having the egos big enough to pursue women who are entirely age inappropriate --both on the older and younger side-- but it sure can be a big ol' pain to deal with, yes?  Sorry he put you in an awkward position, sucks.
It is a fearful thing to love what Death can touch.

Portside

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Re: Well, that was a mistake...
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2016, 06:19:21 AM »
Ah men...I suppose I kinda admire them for having the egos big enough to pursue women who are entirely age inappropriate

Bunny - what is 'age inappropriate' anyway? Over the years, I've seen 'rules' posted here regarding age ranges. Why would anyone believe such a thing? Of course, if someone has in their head an appropriate range of age difference for themselves that's cool. But to offer a general idea of what is appropriate for all does not take into account an individual's desires/needs.

When I was dating, I had a GF who was 19 years younger than me. We got along wonderfully. We each left the relationship on good terms with great affection for each other. The only real problems we had were when we were out and a woman my age accosted her and pitched a fit.

p.s. - darn right we have big egos. It's what lets us kill spiders and open jar lids that are on too tight.  ;D

Best wishes - Mike
The war is over for me now. But those of us who did make it have an obligation to build again, to teach to others what we know, and to try with what's left of our lives to find a goodness and a meaning to this life.

still_lost

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Re: Well, that was a mistake...
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2016, 12:46:14 PM »
Yes, Bunny it does suck. He was an attractive man, but I was not looking at him in that way. He made sure to tell me that women approached him on a regular basis, and he had not problem finding p&%@y. (Sorry, I know that it's vulgar, his words not mine). I was surprised how quickly the conversations took a turn for the worse, so I had to leave him alone. He disguised himself as this very humble man of God, which I found out was not who he really was.

serpico

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Re: Well, that was a mistake...
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2016, 02:02:35 PM »
He made sure to tell me that women approached him on a regular basis, and he had not problem finding p&%@y.

Well, at least he made it easy for you to put him in the loser category.  What a maroon.
'I think I got some of your pickle'

fairlanegirl

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Re: Well, that was a mistake...
« Reply #5 on: December 14, 2016, 02:36:34 PM »
p.s. - darn right we have big egos. It's what lets us kill spiders and open jar lids that are on too tight.  ;D

Best wishes - Mike
Goodness, I can do both those things Mike, without a big ego or the right genitalia...as I'm sure can many of your female compatriots!
The woman who accosted your girlfriend was a nutcase, obviously.
Love and attraction have no rules, indeed. I think it's just blokes who always try to get women much much younger and assume they are attractive to them that many wonder about. For most young women (some of us can remember being one!) much older guys aren't yuk, just not on the radar, being their dad's age. Read a theory somewhere recently that hormonally older men and young women can work because the blokes are declining a bit in that department, and the women haven't reached peak sexually-assertive horniness yet :-)

Bunny

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Re: Well, that was a mistake...
« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2016, 03:10:21 PM »
I guess I'm just jaded as I've been dealing with the general bad behavior of men for almost 4 decades now (thankfully- with age- I'm slowly becoming more and more 'invisible' to them). It's just such a pain for women to have to deal with. Tiring.  And sometimes it can be scary/intimidating. Despite all the bad experiences, I do still like men, I've always had close male friends, and I appreciate their simplicity, but damn they can be boundary-over-stepping jerks (to put it very, very, nicely).

I've gone out with people 10 years older and 17 years younger- But no, I don't think someone in their 60s should hit on someone in their 30s so heavily. Honestly, it makes me think about when I was 16 and one of my dad's friends kissed me- total surprise for me, never saw it coming- then he blamed me for it happening when he saw how freaked out I was that he'd done it.
It is a fearful thing to love what Death can touch.

Sugarbell

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Re: Well, that was a mistake...
« Reply #7 on: December 14, 2016, 05:07:31 PM »
Oh yeah....being an ass doesn't discriminate male/female old or young.

Worst ass I went out with was 13 years younger than me....total douche! One date is all he got.

PB neighbor 15 years older and he could teach younger men a thing or two..both in and out of the sack.

Current beau is 8 years older...I tend to generally linemen a little older. Most young ones bore the hell out of me.
B.W.H. 9/24/2007

nonesuch

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Re: Well, that was a mistake...
« Reply #8 on: December 17, 2016, 09:15:13 AM »
I had several phone conversations with a man I had one date with.  He'd replied to my ad, writing, "I'm older than your profile states, but nobody ever guesses."  He must have had the most diplomatic friends on earth.  When the car pulled over and the door swung open, I thought to myself, "He's old enough to be dating my mother." He was attending law school the year I was born.

Not a dating issue, but a co-irker I once had made a big show of telling us what a solid, church-going man he was.  He was his church's choir director.  He was too cheap to rent a room to cheat on his wife, so he used the store we worked in as a setting for his sexual liaisons.  He was also stealing from our employer.  He got caught once, and the Boss thought his best bet for getting the money back was to keep Co-Irker employed and take it out of his pay.  You can imagine how well that worked.

"He made sure to tell me that women approached him on a regular basis, and he had not problem finding p&%@y."  He sounds like a man who read a book on negging. Maybe he got his certification as a man of the cloth over the internet.

In my experience, people who actually are serious about their faith don't have to go around telling us. They let their actions speak for them. 

ladybug

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Re: Well, that was a mistake...
« Reply #9 on: December 25, 2016, 04:39:17 AM »
I went out with this guy ONE time......he then thinks he is my "boyfriend".   He even came by my work to talk about us.....

I had to finally call the cops to have him removed.   I felt bad doing that, but he didn't take no for an answer.  He started to sound dangerous to me......so glad he is finally out of my life.

Sorry we have to go through these things.   There are some really good men out there, I just have to keep looking.  I am not giving up on love.