Author Topic: I tried speed dating for the first time....  (Read 712 times)

momtokam

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  • Widowed September 2012
I tried speed dating for the first time....
« on: December 18, 2016, 08:35:31 AM »
So what does a crazy widow do when she finds herself free on a Saturday night without kids and the weather outside is questionable?

She goes speed dating downtown of course! 😁

I have been thinking about trying this for so long and have tried to get others to go with me without luck. I really don't have many single women in my social circles. The on line thing is wearing me down and I thought the in person meeting could be intesting.

So here is my review .....Sorry it might get long but entertaining for sure!

I am 51 but don't look my age (I've been told).
Almost all the speed dating events I see near me have females up to 49 only. I could lie but that doesn't' sit well with me.

This particular group's usual age grouping is 40-55 for men and women. Not a bad fit for me but this month they regrouped ages to 35-55. I emailed to clarify and they told me almost all the men were 47-56 for this round. So I booked my spot.

I arrive early because of the bad weather and the organizers are not there yet. I sit at the bar and order a sparkling water. It's set early in the evening before the bar crowd heads out, so those now arriving are only there for this event.

Now you have to understand.  I have never ever gone to a bar by myself! EVER! I sit there and have no clue what to do! I am an extrovert and can talk to anyone, but there is something about sitting at a bar, by myself, that freaked me out!

The organizer arrives and has name cards with numbers on them. The numbers are stations. There were 15 tonight so 15 mini 5 minute dates. The women sit at their station and the men rotate every 5 minutes when the bell goes off. The organizer gives you a date card with everyone listed so you can take notes and it lists some icebreaker questions in case you are stumped.

I was number 12 and went to get settled in my station. Number 12 man was to start with me and then 11, 10, 9 etc. Would follow.

The stations were a bit tight, mine had 3 couples talking in one booth! (12,11,10) The woman next to me and I had to to devise a knee location spot for the men to get around us!

Number 14 man was sitting with me before it starts and is very chatty, nice enough but a little too eager! He has done this before and tells me his crazy stories.

The bell goes and everyone goes to their spots to begin. My first is a Russian man, I think older than me, who has a very small child and has only been separated a year and a half. He was so not ready to date!

I talked to an actor, who wouldn't stop taking about himself.  I'm not sure if he even asked me a question!

I taliked to a younger man who wanted to get married and have kids.

I talked to new to my city men who wanted to meet people.

I listened to men tell me most of the women there were from out of the city. I am in the city but in the north east end so I think I was ok! 😁

It was interesting how all the men assumed I was divorced. Asking about my ex and my custody arrangements. Seeing the poor guys faces after I dropped the widow bomb was interesting at first and it got funnier to me as the night went along. Morbid I know,  but I couldn't help it! You are trying to be lighthearted and have fun and then I drop the "my husband died' card!

Mr number 15 sat down with me during the halftime break. He had not talked to me yet. It was nice and I looked forward to his turn! I didnt talk to him long as I was trying to fix my notes. I was mixed up and started notes at number 1 and not numbet 12! His turn came. He sat down and immediately had to go to the bathroom! He got back in time for the bell! Ok!

So the night ends and I go to get my coat.  Number 15 is there and aplogizes about the disappearing act in a very funny way. I told him I believed him and I knew it couldn't be because of me! He found that confidence very appealing he says!

The next step is to go on line in the next 24-48hrs  and make my selections. If 2 people say yes and match, you are sent each other's emails and you go from there. If you don't say yes to anyone, you get a freebie to come back.

The only man to intrigue me in any way was number 15.
Will I say yes to explore more? Probably.

Overall it was quite a fun an interesting night. I would recommend it as another avenue to try. Success will depend if the men there will interest you or not. If you like to talk to people, then you will have fun, even if you don't make a match.

Sorry this got so long! You must know by now I like to talk! 😁
« Last Edit: December 18, 2016, 08:43:07 AM by momtokam »

klim

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Re: I tried speed dating for the first time....
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2016, 09:47:47 AM »
Cool , you did it!

Love hearing how it went.....will want to hear whether you get a connection....good luck.
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trying2breathe

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Re: I tried speed dating for the first time....
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2016, 11:16:52 AM »
momtokam   This sounds a lot like my experience with speed dating too.  In October I became a member of a dating service/matchmaker, and they hosted a speed date event just before Halloween.  I went in costume to a bar - like you, was nervous as I had never gone to a bar by myself, consider myself an extrovert but still - was pretty anxious at first. 

I sat at table 5 of a group of 12 tables, and the guys rotated around the women.  I met several much younger guys, no connection but had some nice conversations.   Met several age appropriate men too, and have since had dates with two guys.  This event for me was a good way to move out of my comfort zone and get into dating again.  And yes, it was tough to drop the w-bomb, both dates were speechless when I told them that I wasn't divorced but instead widowed.

I would also recommend trying this type of event, once it got started it was casual and easy-going, and a good way to meet people.

Hope that you connect with your Mr. Number 15!  Let us know how it goes!
« Last Edit: December 18, 2016, 07:25:01 PM by trying2breathe »
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Momtojandj

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Re: I tried speed dating for the first time....
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2016, 01:28:41 PM »
I always wanted to try one of those, but where I live no speed dating anywhere close. Thank you for sharing your story , keep us updated if you match with "15" !
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

Mrskro

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Re: I tried speed dating for the first time....
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2016, 02:53:49 PM »
Thanks for sharing!  Good luck with 15!  I think its awesome that you put yourself out there!

momtokam

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  • Widowed September 2012
Re: I tried speed dating for the first time....
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2016, 06:22:47 PM »
Thanks for the encouragement ladies!

I just said yes to number 15 but no match yet.
He either said no or has not done it yet. Oh well.
No worries as I still had a fun night.