Author Topic: I just dont get it....  (Read 677 times)

Mikeytee

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I just dont get it....
« on: December 28, 2016, 06:48:26 PM »
This is my first time posting here so please bear with me....
I kinda feel as if I have ran out of options as far as people to talk to, without sounding like a broken record. I have pushed even my therapist away (my choice) and although no one says much,I feel everyone is growing tired of my shit, so to say.
I lost my husband 4 months ago, a victim to suicide. He and I have always spoken of my courage and strength..But I know now that I have lost the both.
I can not seem to shake this constant sadness, anxiety, panic. Some days, yes, are "better", but they all still suck. I am empty, and a shell of the person I was. I really can not say I hate this enough..I miss him so damn much..it truly is unbelievable.


Wheelerswife

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Re: I just dont get it....
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2016, 07:01:28 PM »
Mikeytee,

Welcome to our board.  Please do not worry about being a broken record.  We completely understand that...we are or were broken records ourselves.  I'm so sorry you lost your beloved husband.  At 4 months, how could this feel better?  It just doesn't feel better that soon, especially under your complex circumstances.  Right now, you may feel that all you want to do is obsess over his death...and I think that is perfectly normal.

Please feel free to vent to your heart's content.

Hugs,

Maureen
Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

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WifeLess

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Re: I just dont get it....
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2016, 09:57:51 PM »
Mikeytee,

Welcome to Young Widow Forum.

The psychological trauma of the SOS (survivor of suicide) of a loved one is classified among the most extreme that a person may ever experience. And this is made even worse when that suicide is of one's spouse, whose death is ranked as the single most emotionally stressful event in an adult's life. So at only 4 months, of course you feel as you describe in your post. Sorry for the traumatic loss that brought you here.

--- WifeLess

JP

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Re: I just dont get it....
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2016, 04:37:23 PM »
Hi Mikeytee,
It's been just 4 weeks for me, I know exactly how you feel. I lost my Jeremy to an 'accidental' overdose. I put that in quotations because although he did not intend to kill himself, that is still what happened. I told my mom that if I still feel like this in 6 months I can't possibly go on, there is no point if it's going to be this painful. Everyday is a f#n struggle. I'm back at work even though I don't feel ready but unfortunately life must go on. I too am an empty shell of a person who is missing somebody so much it's beyond words......

SemperFidelis

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Re: I just dont get it....
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2017, 08:47:17 PM »
I'm sorry Mikeytee.

Another SOS here.... Thinking of you and wishing you strength during this time.