Author Topic: Self reflection through past connections.....  (Read 1021 times)

momtokam

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  • Widowed September 2012
Self reflection through past connections.....
« on: January 10, 2017, 05:50:17 PM »
Last week I had 2 phone conversations with 2 past relationships.

The first was with my most recent relationship, if you can call it that. It was basically casual. We both had agreed to no expectations. I wanted more mutual effort and involvement. Not a full on relationship per se but more than I was getting. I know he wasn't seeing anyone else but had other things going on. I called him in a weak moment. He was very wistful and remembering our good times. Yet many of the issues I had a problem with were amplified and I realized I deserved more.

The second was with my 1st relationship post widow. That was more serious. We were together about a year. It ended about 2 years ago. He asked to friend me on FB. I texted asking why. We then talked on the phone. All the issues that made me end it were still there. He had not done one thing to improve his life or his daughters lives. It made me very sad actually.  He is a mess.

I am now over 4 years out as a widow. During this time I have grown and changed so much. Yes, I've made mistakes. But these were incredible learning opportunities. I have learned what the new real dating and relationship world is all about.

Many times I have had doubts about if I should have left these relationships.  Was I being too picky? Was I crazy to leave a sure thing for something pie in the sky that may not ever come?

I realized without a doubt I have done the right thing. It's better to be alone than with the wrong person. It took all this time and these 2 calls to make me see this clearly.

Will I find the right person?  I don't know. I hope I do. I'm not a quitter and keep trying, even after all my craziness in dating or trying to date, that I have often posted about.

I am an amazing catch. Someone is bound to catch on sooner or later! In the meantime I'll keep trying to entertain you all with my crazy stories! I couldn't survive without laughter! 😊
« Last Edit: January 10, 2017, 08:02:34 PM by momtokam »

SunshineFL

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Re: Self reflection through past connections.....
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2017, 06:08:45 PM »
Beautiful and insightful self reflection @momtokam.
Wow, lots of important clarity and lessons learned there.
Thanks for sharing....and for starting this thread and the online dating vents and laughs board for us all.
Xo
« Last Edit: January 10, 2017, 06:20:46 PM by SunshineFL »

Trying

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  • aka MissingmyTim
Re: Self reflection through past connections.....
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2017, 07:54:36 PM »
Second guessing decisions can be an awful trap, I'm glad you you feel confirmation that you made the right choices and that you deserve more.  Keep putting out those strong positive vibes and never settle.
You will forever be my always.

momtokam

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  • Widowed September 2012
Re: Self reflection through past connections.....
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2017, 08:11:56 PM »
Sunshine FL, so many lessons learned. Thank you my sweet friend. 😊

Trying, the second guessing was so hard to overcome. I definitely deserve more and finally realize it.Thank you for the kind words. 😊

SemperFidelis

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Re: Self reflection through past connections.....
« Reply #4 on: January 11, 2017, 01:06:37 AM »
Congrats on how far you have come 😊

klim

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Re: Self reflection through past connections.....
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2017, 08:56:16 PM »
I love that you know you are a good catch!.....I feel that way too


.......even yelled that at the last guy I dated when we were breaking up....actually yelled "I am a fucking beautiful person and you're an idiot for not recognizing it".....I'm not sure yelling it really accented the point correctly but it felt good at the time!

RobFTC

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  • Lost Michelle to ovarian cancer 2010/11/07
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Re: Self reflection through past connections.....
« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2017, 08:03:57 AM »
I am an amazing catch.

You are!  And if guys don't see that, they're not smart enough for you :-)

Take care,
Rob T
There was something fishy about the butler.  I think he was a Pisces, probably working for scale.

wecouldbeheros

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Re: Self reflection through past connections.....
« Reply #7 on: January 13, 2017, 08:13:45 AM »
You sound like a quick witted sparkler. You'll find your match.

momtokam

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  • Widowed September 2012
Re: Self reflection through past connections.....
« Reply #8 on: January 13, 2017, 05:11:06 PM »
Thank you for the kind words everyone :-)

Klim, You made me laugh! I bet it must have felt great to get that out!

Rob, Thank you. I need a smart one, for sure!

Wecouldbeheros, Thank you and I hope to.

I'm going to take a little break from all this, and then come back, and try again! :-D
« Last Edit: January 13, 2017, 05:50:42 PM by momtokam »