Author Topic: Crazy to think...  (Read 2416 times)

Jen

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Crazy to think...
« on: March 22, 2015, 10:25:31 AM »
... this would ever be okay. It's just hell. And that's all it ever will be.

Just needed to get that out.
I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. ~Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

"Dying is easy. Living is hard. ~George Washington, Hamilton

swilson

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Re: Crazy to think...
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2015, 11:27:14 AM »
Nope, not okay and most times it's barely tolerable. Just get tired of surviving and existing. My coping skills seem to be improving and it helps a little in navigating this heartbreak.
~ she's gone to Heaven so I've got to be good, so I can see my baby when I leave this world ~

Jess

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Re: Crazy to think...
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2015, 12:48:56 AM »
I think sometimes maybe the key is to adjust to the flames, not wait for them to be extinguished. The meaning of "okay" has changed, just like every thing else in our lives.
On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good. - Unknown

Don't be concerned about being disloyal to your pain by being joyous. - Hazrat Inayat Khan

Joe: 1979- 7/2014

injo

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Re: Crazy to think...
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2015, 03:20:27 AM »
((((Jen))), I hear you!

Jen

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Re: Crazy to think...
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2015, 09:33:40 AM »
(((Hugs))) Thank you. I seem to be stuck in a mire of hopelessness just now. I can't shake it. :(
I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. ~Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

"Dying is easy. Living is hard. ~George Washington, Hamilton

Ursula

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Re: Crazy to think...
« Reply #5 on: March 29, 2015, 10:53:19 PM »
Dearest Jen, I have finally found my way in, hope you are feeling a bit better in the meantime...I have been reading here but could not access. I find the wave analogy is so true, gladly the up-wave always comes. I find it dangerous to think about the future, because it always sets me on a tailspin. But: the near future looks brighter, because we are all going to meet in Amsterdam, that is something I am really looking forward to !!!!!!
hugs
Por que tu fuego a?n me quema, sin ti las noches son eternas,
tu aroma sigue aqu?, no me deja ir.. Por m?s que intente y quiera olvidarte, yo nunca lograre dejarte, cautivo de este amor sincero esclavo de tu voz.. Por que estoy am?ndote, so??ndose, aunque no est?s aqu?..
Y yo te esperare, amor aunque los a?os lleguen sin querer (Marc Anthony)

Carey

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Re: Crazy to think...
« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2015, 08:11:37 AM »
I was thinking about you and this thread this morning Jen. Just wanted to check in on you and hug you from a ways a way ...  I agree. It's not ever going to be okay but days do roll around that are a little okay. Some days even better than that. Hang on and don't let go. We're here for you.
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter

Jen

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Re: Crazy to think...
« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2015, 12:21:22 PM »
Thank you for this... thank you all, in fact. I've been ill, which just makes everything worse-- I've been reading, but I haven't been able to make myself respond. Just no words anymore. :(

hugs,

Jen
I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. ~Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

"Dying is easy. Living is hard. ~George Washington, Hamilton

Carey

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  • Widowed 11/23/13 Joined YWBB 12/2/13
Re: Crazy to think...
« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2015, 12:26:43 PM »
Yes when you're physically sick that seems to compound everything else for some reason. No uber encouraging message to give just know you're thought about, ok?
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter

anniegirl

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Re: Crazy to think...
« Reply #9 on: March 30, 2015, 09:54:56 PM »
Closing in on the first anniversary can be really hard and nearly anything can knock you - illness especially.

I hope you are feeling (physically at least) better today.
This is not the droid you are looking for.

Ursula

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Re: Crazy to think...
« Reply #10 on: April 02, 2015, 09:58:43 PM »
Dear Jen, no wonder you feel shitty, grief itself is making us weak and then sickness on top of that? Be kind to yourself, treat yourself . I send you a big health-hug, all drugs included and hope you will be on the mend soon. We need your wisdom and insight here you know...  :-*
Por que tu fuego a?n me quema, sin ti las noches son eternas,
tu aroma sigue aqu?, no me deja ir.. Por m?s que intente y quiera olvidarte, yo nunca lograre dejarte, cautivo de este amor sincero esclavo de tu voz.. Por que estoy am?ndote, so??ndose, aunque no est?s aqu?..
Y yo te esperare, amor aunque los a?os lleguen sin querer (Marc Anthony)