Author Topic: Online dating newbie - help?  (Read 1847 times)

nonesuch

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Re: Online dating newbie - help?
« Reply #15 on: February 06, 2017, 09:04:10 PM »
So, I finally "met" a man that was a friend of a friend, and was said to be a nice guy....  Have been chatting online, and hit it off....  And were planning to meet tonight.........  And then my youngest spiked a fever....  Right now I wish I wasn't such a good mom......   Maybe next weekend?  I sure hope he doesn't think I'm flaking.....

In my experiences, it make sense if the one who canceled takes the initiative to set up the next meeting.   "Maybe another time" seems to be code for, "I've decided I'm not interested, and I'm trying to let you down easy."   If someone canceled on me, I learned to wait for him to make the next move.  Mostly, they ghosted.

twin_mom

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Re: Online dating newbie - help?
« Reply #16 on: February 18, 2017, 09:35:04 PM »
So, I finally "met" a man that was a friend of a friend, and was said to be a nice guy....  Have been chatting online, and hit it off....  And were planning to meet tonight.........  And then my youngest spiked a fever....  Right now I wish I wasn't such a good mom......   Maybe next weekend?  I sure hope he doesn't think I'm flaking.....

My thought when something came up with my kids that impacted a meet/date early on- I have kids. They are a huge part of my life and dealing with that is part of the package; if a guy reacted poorly then I knew it wasn't going to work out long-term anyways.

For example: one guy I was chatting with was good. Our meet went well. Some time between our meet and our second date, while we were texting I said something like "we decided to not have real dinner tonight and just eat cereal on the couch" he jumped ALL over me, grilling me about who I was with?! I was like, "um... The short people I live with?" -though we had a second date, I knew at that point he wasn't the one for me.

Conversely, I was late to my meet with NG- I texted him that I was going to be about 5 minutes late, but it was closer to 15 by the time I got there. The first thing he said after introductions: "I'm sorry, I should have suggested 7:30 or 8 instead so you'd have more time to get home from work and see your kids before coming out". -i knew then that he got it.. not only did he recognize that I did indeed live with short people, but that their very existence was going to impact any relationship that I had.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2017, 09:36:43 PM by twin_mom »

Forgottenwife

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Re: Online dating newbie - help?
« Reply #17 on: February 19, 2017, 11:15:01 AM »
This is one of the things I love about my Chapter 2. I too met men that were impatient that I had kids. One said my kids were spoiled because I didn't allow sleepovers with boyfriends. Nope, I stopped seeing him. I think these interactions let us know our compatibility.

When I was just dating my Chapter 2, he was loving and understanding and kind. Due to those short people I was raising, I had to cancel a couple of times on pretty short notice, and it was always lovingly received. He just always let me know I could call on him if I needed anything and to let him know when I was available again. My chapter 2 has since told me that he knew my kids had been through a lot with their father's death and one of the things he found attractive in me was that I was a good mom and looked out for my kids' best interests. Not really anything much sexier than that. Everyone has reasons they have to cancel or be late sometimes. If it is a regular habit, I can see it being an issue. But finding out if someone can quickly adjust without being a brat was very important to me, life doesn't always run exactly on schedule.