Author Topic: Worried that My sister won't give my kid back  (Read 7715 times)

Mel4072

  • Guest
Re: Worried that My sister won't give my kid back
« Reply #15 on: March 23, 2015, 06:23:34 PM »
PJ, I know it hurts but have you considered DD? She is a person and has feelings. (Not that you don't realize that.) have you thought about other options? Bring a mom doesn't mean she has to live with you. Maybe you could move there and gradually involve yourself in her activities. Just a thought.

Eddienhp

  • Member
  • Posts: 97
  • Cancer Widow November 2011
Re: Worried that My sister won't give my kid back
« Reply #16 on: March 26, 2015, 09:04:48 AM »
that she wants me there and misses me

PJ, I think that says it all. Your daughter will be happy to have you with her. Your sister will have to learn how to live with the change. Thank your sister, make sure to invite her to things after you move there; in other words feed her ego. I have a feeling she needs to be in control and feel important. Someone told me a few years ago how they dealt with difficult people in their life. He said, "Learn their strengths and weaknesses. Then figure out how to utilize them best in your life. They will subconsciously adapt and feel important because you asked for their help." He was a smart man from a broken family. I thought what he said was simple so I gave it a try in my life. Sure enough, it cut out some of the bs I had previously put up with. My motto is "feed the ego" when those types of people (controlling, never wrong, know it alls, etc)  are around.

Hope this helps and hugs to you.
Eileen
My life is better because you were in it. You encouraged me to stretch my wings. I will forever be grateful. Rest in Peace Babe. Till we meet again.

canadiangirl

  • Member
  • Posts: 438
Re: Worried that My sister won't give my kid back
« Reply #17 on: April 01, 2015, 10:15:50 PM »
((PJ))  I wish you the very best in navigating such a fraught situation.
« Last Edit: April 02, 2015, 05:54:56 AM by canadiangirl »

PhotoJunkie

  • Member
  • Posts: 119
Re: Worried that My sister won't give my kid back
« Reply #18 on: April 02, 2015, 01:55:46 PM »
Canadiangirl,

I saw your post last night and I appreciated it very much.  I am sad to see it gone this morning as now I can't respond to it like I wanted to. 

I did get a response from my sister and her proposed schedule is that my daughter stays with her mon-fri and I get her on the weekends, except she failed to acknowledge or she is misunderstanding that I will be working every other weekend for a while.  Needless to say that sent me off the deep end.  I have been working with my counselor and I did not respond to her until I have spoken with my lady.  I am trying not to act from an emotional standpoint at this time which is extremely difficult.  There is a family counseling session scheduled for next week, but I have no hopes it will go well as I have done this before and the results were less than productive. 

I can attempt to find a mon-fri job with dayshift hours, but they are usually in positions I do not want to work or they claim they are "9-5" and end up being 10-16 hour days.  Doctors offices are hard to get into without hospital experience.  That is where I am stuck.  The timing of my husbands accident severely crippled my career and getting hospital experience.  If I had 1-2 years of that experience, I could write my ticket anywhere, unfortunately I don't have that right now.  I do not know what the nursing market is in MO.  I can only speak for where I currently am.  I have been talking to recruiters there and they say if Im willing to work nights, I can get into a hospital fairly easily.  Even more so if IM willing to work nights AND weekends.  But then I miss out on things like prom, band events on the weekends etc.  Nights is doable with help from my sister, but at this point Im not sure she will. 

Right now the move is not going as planned and Im almost 2 weeks behind schedule and possibly 3 if I can't find another solution to this move (which I pretty much won't) 

Fun fun fun :P


HvnBound

  • Member
  • Posts: 105
Re: Worried that My sister won't give my kid back
« Reply #19 on: April 02, 2015, 02:41:20 PM »
@Photojunkie the only job in nursing in this area that I know of, that is M-F, days, is to get a job working for an insurance company as a nurse who directs treatment of injured workers in workers compensation.  I wish you the best of luck!!!
"It's time to start living the life you've imagined."

  --  Henry James

Sometimes you just have to die a little inside in order
to be reborn and rise again as a stronger and wiser version of you.
  -- Unknown

canadiangirl

  • Member
  • Posts: 438
Re: Worried that My sister won't give my kid back
« Reply #20 on: April 02, 2015, 05:06:19 PM »
((PJ)) Sorry I took my post down.  On reflection this a.m. it felt like a hijack and I was worried it might seem patronizing, when what I wanted to do was to validate your feelings on this and also your concerns.  If you saw it, you know my take on this.  It is truly too much to ask of you to lose your husband and then lose the last chance to be a family with your daughter as she enters adulthood.  Your needs and rights matter too.  I hope other family members or the counsellor put pressure on your sister - who has her OWN, intact family- to do the right thing.  Your daughter should not be maneuvered into making decisions. In my view, she should not be part of the next family counselling session- or your sister shouldn't.  You and your daughter are the family here.  If your sister is consulting/deciding on "custody"-like scenarios with your daughter before you, and without your input, your daughter risks becoming an emotional pawn and from here, without the whole story and not knowing you all personally, it feels totally inappropriate. I am sorry to sound like I am disrespecting your sister (part of why I took my original post down).  I just...feel for you on this so much. 
« Last Edit: April 02, 2015, 05:35:53 PM by canadiangirl »