Author Topic: New Here, Unfotunately  (Read 960 times)


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New Here, Unfotunately
« on: January 17, 2017, 08:29:43 PM »
Hi all.

Where to begin.... I'm here because my boyfriend of 3 years was killed instantly in a single vehicle car accident 1 month ago on the 19th. I hate to call him just a boyfriend, as he was so much more - my soulmate, my best friend, my rock, the love of my life.... We lived together for the last 2 years. Though we weren't married yet, we had a beautiful life together.

That being said, we had our rough times. We had some trust issues and had broken up very recently for less than a month. After getting back together and deciding to put all of our past issues behind us, we had a ridiculously amazing last 2 months together. We were talking every day about getting married, and I think he was planning on proposing soon. Things were just so. insanely. perfect. I kind of feel like the break up happened for a reason... maybe God knew He was going to take Brad and wanted things to really end for us on a beautiful, happy note. I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, but I can't begin to fathom what the reason would be for taking someone who had so much life and love ahead of him.

So anyway, now my best friend is gone, just like that. I feel numb, empty, and lost. I don't know where I'm supposed to go from here. I don't know why this has to happen. I miss him so much already, and it's only the beginning...


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Re: New Here, Unfotunately
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2017, 12:24:02 AM »
So sorry for your loss. We all have lost our loved ones in one or other tragic way so we can understand your loss and pain. For now just take one day at a time and eat well.



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Re: New Here, Unfotunately
« Reply #2 on: January 18, 2017, 02:24:04 PM »
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm also new here myself but wanted to welcome you. Knowing that there are other people going through this makes me feel a little comfort, not that it makes me feel better, it just makes me feel less alone.

I hope we are of help to get you through the days ahead


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Re: New Here, Unfotunately
« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2017, 07:43:44 PM »
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm two months out today, and every day is different. I hope you find support from the people here. Sometimes just reading the posts of others helps me to feel not alone.


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Re: New Here, Unfotunately
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2017, 07:46:39 AM »
Hi Kaleigh,
I lost my boyfriend suddenly at the end of November so I can very much relate. We weren't married but that does not matter. People say it gets easier but each day has been a miserable struggle for me. I used to believe in fate like you said, but not so sure anymore.



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Re: New Here, Unfotunately
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2017, 12:21:28 AM »
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I lost my boyfriend in Aug so it's been almost 6 months. For me, I can say it's gotten a bit easier. I still cry everyday. I miss him all the time. Some days are still unbearable. Some days I can get through the day feeling like I'm myself again and that I am healing...slowly but healing.

Today his 12 yr old daughter helped me by saying to me " you're still kinda dating" ...... Her acknowledging that we hadn't " broken up" made me see from her view that it didn't matter that we were " just boyfriend/girlfriend" - even at her young age, she gets it. We didn't have to be married or living together for it to be just the same as if we had been.

I am so incredibly grateful and feel so blessed to have been his and him be mine. I still get extremely pissed off that he was taken so young....with so much to live for. With so much love to still give. We were supposed to have the next 50 years. To show his kids and mine, what a truly healthy beautiful loving relationship is. I'm not supposed to be having to think about starting all over again. To try to find a man with a soul like his who was a real man in every sense. But life has a different plan for me even if I don't understand what the hell that could possibly be. And I know, no matter how much the idea hurts and sometimes overwhelms me, he wants me to be happy again. He wants me to give someone deserving the same kind of love that I showed him. And to allow someone to do the same for me. If anything this has taught me, is that life really can be unbelievably too short. That you can wake up on a Sun morning with so much to look forward to and by 5 pm that night your whole life has changed. That you had a boyfriend one minute and in the next you don't. And wrapping your mind around just can't some days. But what you do is, is slowly put one foot in front of the other having faith that it will get easiier day. That if you can't get out of bed one day, don't. Stay there until you can. If you need to watch hours and hours of mindless tv, do,it. If you need to be keep busy all the time, do that. Do whatever it takes for you to get through the day. There is no wrong or right way to grieve and move forward. You do what is best for you in this moment. And make no apologies for how you handle your's yours and no one else's. Own your grief. Own your pain. Own your healing. And absolutely own the love you had. Not everyone gets that kind of love in this lifetime......I'm one of the lucky few who gets to say I did. And I know how incredible that is. I thank him everyday for being him. For loving me the way he did. So unbelievably incredibly grateful to love him.