Author Topic: Starting to Tread the Deeper Waters ... between budding and fully committed ...  (Read 801 times)

jgib

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t2b, remember when you are sick it is much easier to get cranky over things that under other circumstances wouldn’t bother you!  :)
Sounds like you do know what is truly going on but I bet that doesn’t make it any less difficult.

trying2breathe

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Thanks, jgib - it's a good point about feeling lousy and being cranky.  I won't make any decisions until I'm feeling better - it's best to hold off on any serious discussions too.

Hope everybody is staying healthy - this flu thing is no fun!
Have I told you lately how much I love you?

arneal

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Oh, trying2, I am sorry to hear and agree with jgib -- I know I get more sensitive when I don't feel well. This is so funky and complicated!!! I wonder if it's winter blues? I don't know. Trying to think on the bright side. BF and I will be two years come Memorial Day.
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

arneal

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Happy Saturday, all: I heard from BF this morning. He's had a rough go but sounded really good; he's been working out the issues, which was most necessary. I didn't have to say a thing -- he started the conversation (we talked on the phone, a weird thing that isn't typical for us lol) by apologizing for not calling to let me know what was going on. I ended the call with 'sending lots of love your way,' to which he replied 'I love you too.' We will get to talk more tomorrow. Progress.
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

trying2breathe

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Glad that you connected, arneal - good that he's aware of the lack of communication and brought it up.  I do hope that you follow up with another conversation on how much it did bother you.

Update on boyfriend - I'm feeling better and we've had a few good conversations and are doing okay right now.  The air has cleared a bit and this weekend we seemed to settle into a good routine, hope that this lasts.   Maybe it was winter & post holiday blues, combined with being sick - glad to be moving forward and out of this funk.

Hope everybody is staying healthy!
Have I told you lately how much I love you?

klim

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Hey everybody, just read through and caught up on what's up and all of a sudden I feel more normal again.

Just past the 1 year mark with NG and the up-down, yes- no feeling I get continue and I think intensified as the 1 year mark approached. It was kinda like , if I'm still having some issues and it's one year maybe this isn't a match made in heavenand I should exit and try again. But alternatively i was acknowledging it is pretty darn good and maybe perfect is not realistic. As i mentioned definitely a period of flipflopping.

arneal

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Hey klim! Ugh, it's the unknown that is so hard! Is this the one, is it not ...

I am at BF's now. We talked out a lot of things. It was harder for him than it was for me, frankly, because I didn't have to say anything. He worked through his lack of openness and his sharing of where he was emotionally was certainly deeper than I could have guessed. This week was one of serious introspection for him and in addition to coming to terms with where things are with his daughter right now, he talked about how he is grateful for me. Humbling.
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

trying2breathe

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Just past the 1 year mark with NG and the up-down, yes- no feeling I get continue and I think intensified as the 1 year mark approached. It was kinda like , if I'm still having some issues and it's one year maybe this isn't a match made in heavenand I should exit and try again. But alternatively i was acknowledging it is pretty darn good and maybe perfect is not realistic. As i mentioned definitely a period of flipflopping.

klim   My thoughts exactly as I approach one year in early February with BF.  I think that if I'm still having doubts right now, should I just call it quits and move on?  You're right that perfect is not realistic, I do love him and we are comfortable with each other.  We're working through some issues and right now things are good.  When I think back on my marriage with my LH, we had struggles and there was a time when I thought about not staying with him. This reminds me that regardless of the relationship there will be some conflict.  I'm taking it day to day, and not trying to overthink it.

arneal  So very glad that you talked it out - you mentioned not having to say anything but I hope that you will have your say.  There's a way to be loving and supportive and still get your point across.  My boyfriend tells me that he appreciates it when I call him out on his s#&t  ;D  and I also want to be called out on mine.
Have I told you lately how much I love you?

arneal

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Thanks, trying2. We did talk last night. A lot. It was amazing, actually. There are elements I won't share here because of how difficult a time this was but I am happy with the progress. I don't expect miracles. I made my point clear and he was in a place to hear it. <<< That's it right there, being in position to hear the issues. Without this thing happening with his daughter, I don't think we'd be where we are today. I am sad that it took that, but am glad that I was able to help him express his thoughts as I expressed mine. Like you, trying2, I love him and know that he loves me. Just being able to say that to one another is a big step. Now it's a matter of a continued positive trajectory. Onward!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

trying2breathe

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arneal   I'm glad that you had a great conversation and that you feel progress - sounds like a corner has been turned and that's wonderful.  It's essential for me to keep communication going with BF and I'm thankful that he tries with me and it's taking us to a new level in the relationship.  Onward indeed!
Have I told you lately how much I love you?