Author Topic: For those in budding relationships ...  (Read 31152 times)

arneal

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #585 on: February 05, 2018, 10:51:33 AM »
{{{Hugs}}} jgib!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Captains wife

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #586 on: February 05, 2018, 12:02:14 PM »
Virgo - I hear you...for me, getting too close feels uncomfortable right now. I've been a widow for almost 6 years! But between the sudden loss of my DH, the post widow stuff, some of my dating heartbreaks I feel myself consciously or unconsciously keeping myself slightly "aloof". So happy NG was supportive. None of this is easy- sigh.
« Last Edit: February 05, 2018, 12:47:11 PM by Captains wife »

arneal

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #587 on: February 05, 2018, 12:22:21 PM »
Captains Wife -- ugh, the dating heartbreaks! Those, on top of sudden losses of our LHs, makes for strong aloofness, I would say. At least it did for me. Our 'Spidey Senses' are strong. Once you feel like this one is the right one, and it may take several years or a day, you'll know.
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Virgo

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #588 on: February 05, 2018, 06:23:44 PM »
No, none of this is easy.
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

Virgo

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #589 on: February 05, 2018, 10:42:08 PM »
My NG took the day off today so we spent it together. Fun, lazy day. We normally spend Tuesday evenings together, so including tomorrow that would be four days in a row. It's nice seeing him every day.
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

arneal

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #590 on: February 06, 2018, 10:37:23 AM »
That is great, Virgo! Hoping that time together helps draw you closer :)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

beth_krkswidow

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #591 on: February 06, 2018, 09:26:03 PM »
Want to add my hugs too, Virgo, on your 4 year Sadiversary
"Until my last breath, I loved you more than life itself." ~Kirk, in his envelope to be opened only upon his death.  And now I to you, My Love, until my last breath...

Virgo

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #592 on: February 06, 2018, 10:08:30 PM »
Thank you! NG and I were together again tonight. We're hoping to get together for lunch tomorrow.
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

Virgo

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #593 on: February 12, 2018, 10:12:10 PM »
I hope everyone had a nice weekend. I was snowed in Friday. Then Saturday I would normally sleep over with my NG, but my youngest daughter was sick. My NG and I spent all Sunday together. We're planning on seeing each other tomorrow too. We haven't really mentioned Valentine's day. It's not a big deal to me. I have a little something I bought to surprise him with sometime this week. I was hoping tomorrow, but it sounds like he wants to go out. My surprise is more a private thing. 😁
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

Needytoo

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #594 on: February 13, 2018, 11:30:57 AM »
Good for you Virgo, glad to hear things are turning out for you.

My sons, still aren't very accepting of NG but I am not letting this stop me.

 NG and I are becoming very close. I will admit I am getting much better at communicating but to a point.  Maybe it is "widow aloofness", hard to say.

I do see a trend in NG that unfortunately does raise somewhat of a red flag and then I think who cares, he is perfect in every other way.  We have only dated for 7 months but so far if there is a holiday where is requires a gift (birthday/Christmas etc) he backs the hell away.  Of course now my point is Valentine's Day he told me he is going to the rifle range, kind of stings when you are told that you are the number one person in his life but yet....   Yep, communication, darn it still have no idea to point out Valentine's Day and that I would like to spend it with him.  Oh well have flown solo on Valentine's Day for awhile now, what is another year. 

Portside

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #595 on: February 13, 2018, 01:34:05 PM »
Of course now my point is Valentine's Day he told me he is going to the rifle range, kind of stings when you are told that you are the number one person in his life but yet....   Yep, communication, darn it still have no idea to point out Valentine's Day and that I would like to spend it with him. 

Might it have been suitable to ask to go to the range with him as a VD outing?

A possible win-win.

Mike
The war is over for me now. But those of us who did make it have an obligation to build again, to teach to others what we know, and to try with what's left of our lives to find a goodness and a meaning to this life.

klim

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #596 on: February 13, 2018, 03:00:33 PM »
I actually went on a valentine outing to paintball a couple of years back with a meetup group.  I thought it was great , lots of lonley people on valentines day that needed to get out and do something

arneal

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #597 on: February 13, 2018, 05:32:01 PM »
That's what I was thinking, Needytoo. Go with him. Suggest dinner afterward, maybe a place with soft music and low lighting :)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Virgo

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #598 on: February 13, 2018, 08:27:40 PM »
Needytoo, I wouldn't be to concerned about the holidays yet. Holidays are hard for a lot of people for different reasons. I've had this conversation with my NG. We started officially dating at the end of October. I let him know he was more than welcome to join us. He didn't, and that's fine. I had a feeling he felt a little awkward spending more than short amounts of time at my house. Anytime he mentions spending time in with me or my girls it's at his house. I actually confronted him about it Sunday, and he said he does feel a little awkward. It's not so much the house, but the feeling of intruding or stepping on toes. I get that. This was our home with my LH. I think it's just one of those things that's going to take time. Definitely suggest going with him to the range. Not because it's Valentine's day, but because you want to spend time with him. 
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

Needytoo

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #599 on: February 14, 2018, 07:01:33 AM »
Good point Portside, I should have mention that he also said go to the gun club with his friends. He has brought me out there before but I felt I wasn't included this time. 

I can't deny that this all doesn't hurt because it does.  My DH and I also didn't celebrate special events in our life and I know this is so wrong. NG isn't like my husband in so many ways except for this particular little thing that I have noticed. Somehow I will need to talk about it, but not right now I need to let the emotions calm down first.  The last few times this has happened I have notice something about myself, I am able to reach out to friends and make other plans.  Tonight going to yoga with a few friends, tomorrow going out with another friend and Saturday I have two other things with two other friends.  Finally in my life I guess I do have a support system.  Guess I am doing well after all. 

Happy Valentine's everyone.