Author Topic: For those in budding relationships ...  (Read 39551 times)

Virgo

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #630 on: March 11, 2018, 10:14:47 PM »
I am the type of person that will say it often and freely when I actually mean it. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't. The hesitation was because of my LH, over thinking. I have caught myself almost saying I love you to my NG. Especially as we're saying goodbye.  Our goodbyes have been a little awkward lately and I think it's because he was building up to saying it. I actually told my girlfriends a couple of weeks ago that I thought he almost said it. That is why I feel bad about my initial reaction, but I can't really change that. I can only explain it. We have talked a lot since Friday, but we haven't seen each other. I haven't brought it up since Friday either. I would rather have that conversation in person.
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

Needytoo

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #631 on: March 12, 2018, 11:55:51 AM »
Hello everyone, trying to adjust to the time change. Why does one hour change totally screw you up? 

Friday NG and I went out for supper and I asked his advice regarding my youngest son and wanted him to read a post that my son put on Instagram about losing his father.  NG didn't know that Thursday was the "day" and was so apologetic on what he did.  Again,  I suck at communication.  Probably for the best he didn't  I wasn't good company. 

I feel like you Virgo. It took me a long time before I told NG I loved him. Needed time to process all of it. 

Virgo

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #632 on: March 12, 2018, 02:26:42 PM »
Needytoo, it sounds like maybe you two do need to communicate more. That's good that you talked about it.
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

arneal

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #633 on: March 13, 2018, 02:52:42 PM »
Oh, boy ... those three words lol! They didn't get said out loud until earlier this year. We don't say it much but the sentiment is there in actions and emotional connection. It happened the first time when I said to him that I was sending lots of love his way due to a situation and he replied with 'I love you too'. I think we've only said it once or twice since.
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Virgo

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #634 on: March 13, 2018, 03:44:20 PM »
We normally see each other on Tuesdays, but he started feeling bad last night. Bad timing. I haven't heard if he still wants to get together tonight. I really want to see him to help ease my over thinking about Friday.
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

arneal

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #635 on: March 13, 2018, 04:21:07 PM »
Virgo -- seeing him might help but it's important to get to a point where you don't need to get that sort of 'validation' (for lack of a better word). You can't change what happened any more than you can change his reaction to it. It's hard to do but necessary for our own well-being.
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Virgo

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #636 on: March 13, 2018, 05:35:25 PM »
Arneal, I understand what you are saying too. I guess I just look forward to the few days we do see each other because of my schedule. We're not going to see each other tonight. I miss seeing him, he said the same thing, but he obviously can't help that he's sick. I hope he feels better by this weekend. We were talking about going to Chicago this weekend for a short getaway. We need it!
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

arneal

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #637 on: March 13, 2018, 05:45:40 PM »
Oh I hope you get to go away! I get it for sure. I certainly missed my guy when we couldn't see each other on a usual day :)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Virgo

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #638 on: March 13, 2018, 05:55:25 PM »
Right now our definite days are Tuesdays and Saturdays. The rest of the week we try to see each other whenever we can. Last week I also saw him Thursday and my daughters went with me to his house Friday.
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

Needytoo

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #639 on: March 16, 2018, 02:28:57 PM »
TGIF!!

You are right Virgo, I need to be a better communicator and NG is helping me with that.  The deep black shit I still have a hard time talking about.  Not sure if that is good or bad. lol

NG and I spend a lot of time together, which makes it even harder when we are not together.  Because we do spend a lot of time together his Mom gets a little upset with him that he isn't their to "serve" her all the time.  Hard spot to be in.  I listen to him but not sure what I can offer for a solution.  Learning curve of a new relationship has its challenges. 

Virgo

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #640 on: March 16, 2018, 10:38:00 PM »
Needytoo, that's a good sign if you feel comfortable sharing the deep shit with him. I can see his mom being an obstacle. He's a grown man. She needs to realize he has his own life to live too.

My NG is still not feeling 100%, so we're going to postpone the trip to Chicago. We're going to spend the weekend together just more laid back. Dinner out Saturday, movies, and staying the night together at his house. Just relax together Sunday too. It will be nice. It's been awhile since we've been able to stay the night together.
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

arneal

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #641 on: March 17, 2018, 02:16:42 PM »
Hoping everyone is having a good weekend. I am packing for a business trip, which makes for an interesting day as BF gets used to my dogs for true. They adore him, almost too much, so it's hard for him to move about the house with them. However, this is life here and they will be looking to him for the next six days. Fortunately my house sitter will be here in the daytime to take care of them. I know they are going to tackle him every night when he comes in the house lol. I'll get the texts and stories when I get home. Oh, well ... they are like extra children to me so they live in here too :)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Needytoo

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #642 on: March 17, 2018, 05:02:32 PM »
Hope everything goes well for you Arneal.
NG has his kids this weekend and tonight going out with friends for St. Patrick's day so I stopped off at NG's house. After an hour or so of listening to how perfect his Mom's marriage was and then hearing how NG takes care of her, I had to leave.

Seeing another side of this woman and I am not liking it. I know being widowed in your eighties is hard but it seems all she can talk about is being taken care off.  Help me people is this typical senior thing?

arneal

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #643 on: March 17, 2018, 07:39:27 PM »
Needytoo I would say it is generational. LHs daughter's grandmom on het mom's side is in her 70s. Never worked, never paid a bill. Her husband died and she has relied on her kids and grandkids. She recently went to hospital needing a pacemaker. I am not saying it's connected but she was super stressed at not having someone to take care of her. I think when we get that age we won't be like that. Conversely my mom who is also in her 70s but worked all her life is not like that either :)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

tybec

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #644 on: March 17, 2018, 08:54:37 PM »
Needytoo,

I think it is personality. My mother was independent.  Went to college in the 1940s, took care of my father with alzheimer's.  She just passed in Nov.  She did everything she could to be independent.  She apologized to me at the nursing home, in hospice, mind you, as she didn't like that she needed care.  Her mother became a widow in her 50s and had to learn to do everything, drive, pay bills, work outside the home.  My mother saw that. 

Now, my MIL moved to where my LH and I resided.  She wanted her only son to do all kinds of things. She would call him at work so he could come over and do things at her house before coming to our home.  He set limits with her, but he still took care of her until  he died.  One reason I had to move away from her. She was talking to my son, who was 13 at the time and telling him how he could drive her around when he got his license.  She told him he could drive her when she broke her wrist last summer, as he was old enough to do so.  I confronted her on it and she said she was joking, but my son did not think so. NOPE.  Boundaries.

Personalities and experiences.....