Author Topic: For those in budding relationships ...  (Read 18157 times)

arneal

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #30 on: February 09, 2017, 11:21:18 AM »
Oh, trying ... {{hugs!!!}}
One of the dating info sites I read had a post a few days back. The desire for the other person was #1. The 'expert' wasn't saying that sex is the main thing, but if there's no attraction, chances are that there won't be. Without some level of attraction, the idea of that guy being 'the one' is slim.
The not spending a lot of time thing. Ugh! So I had to travel for a speaking engagement from Monday-Wednesday this week. After an overnight away weekend before last where NG was sick, I got sick. It was totally a stress cold. I did my darnedest to get better before leaving as I was hoping to see him before I left. He was still sick so it didn't happen. I was sad about it, even though we texted and whatnot. I got over it quickly because it would have been hell if I had gotten sicker before going to present, right? Silly. However, this was a cathartic trip -- the first one taken where I had no one at home to call and say "I made it' and no one waiting for me at the airport when I got back. That was tough. I cried when the plane was coming in for landing and had to close my eyes when I was on the way to grab my checked bag because there was a husband there, waiting expectantly for his wife. I saw her as she rushed to him for a kiss and just ... felt empty for a moment. I had been happy when I arrived at the airport on Monday though; I hadn't told NG exactly my itinerary, other than I was leaving Monday and would be back Wednesday. When I was getting out of the shuttle, I heard my phone and when I looked, he had texted me -- as if he knew the time! -- to say have a safe trip and he'd see me when I got back. Swoon, right? I texted back once I got through TSA to say I'd let him know when I landed, which I did. We had a couple messages on social media in between and then he seemed happy to know I got home safe and said he'd see me soon. So then I posted a photo and wrote about my teary landing on social media; his response? 'I would have picked you up but didn't know when' Swoon again! So I kept it light and said something back about him being a hard worker who drives like 29 hours a day, that this was something I had to go through, but now that I had, I might hit him up for that ride next time :) We'll see what this weekend brings as it is my birthday on Sunday :)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

tybec

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #31 on: February 09, 2017, 01:21:00 PM »
First, Trying2breathe.  Yes, there has to be some chemistry, I think.  With my NG, after talking on line and phone for about 10 days, met up.  I wrote him I knew there had to be something there, as looking good on paper didn't always mean anything.  I believe that, why some folks couple up, and it makes no logical sense but works. So, Good Luck finding someone that meets your dreams AND some chemistry.

Arneal, Happy Birthday Weekend!  Hope you and NG can celebrate it together!  Yes, things like not having someone to text you to make sure you made it on a trip are just sad.  Not having that person.  The pick up at the airport.  So glad NG is willing and able next time!

MrsDAN, Thanks for the validation.  Glad I am not alone with this. 

PS Big cat left me alone all night two nights ago.  Last night with NG here, 4, 4:30, 5:00 a.m. banging, scratching, meowing at the door.  Ughh..........  But on the upside, NG and I had a great time together, especially since we skipped last weekend.  He continues to talk long term, now, me moving closer, blending families.  Too bad the ex wife is such a control freak.  Not gonna think about that today.....

arneal

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #32 on: February 09, 2017, 02:16:01 PM »
Thanks, tybec -- does the cat like NG? Is he trying to get in for some extra cuddles? My baby boy dog is like that with NG. He's nipped at his fingers and because he's sort of wild, he makes NG anxious, which doesn't help matters. I am hoping the two of them can find some equal ground.
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

trying2breathe

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #33 on: February 09, 2017, 04:32:28 PM »
I too miss the travel texts and the airport pickup.  There's an emptiness there when it doesn't happen, these days it's DD that I text and that seems to fill the void somewhat. 

I'm giggling about your puppy, arneal.  Mine is similar in that she's big and energetic, and it will be interesting to see what happens when I introduce her to a man someday. 


As for me, back to square one.  I guess I should look for some chemistry before making an effort.  Hopefully I'm back in this forum again sometime soon.
Have I told you lately how much I love you?

arneal

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #34 on: February 09, 2017, 04:52:27 PM »
Feel free to update us, trying -- we are all here for each other! Yes, chemistry of some sort early on is important. I was so corny about NG when I first saw his profile. I wish I had been a real stalker because I would have loved to have copied/pasted the contents so I could look at it now to see what it was that I liked so much. We had very good written conversations on the dating site right away and in the chat he said something like 'it seems like we have some chemistry here'. I suggested meeting and the rest is history. I know I thought he was cute right off, but besides that, there was something in his writing and eventually in his conversations. But the cute certainly didn't hurt!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

tybec

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #35 on: February 10, 2017, 10:13:58 AM »
The cats.  I asked on-line at very beginning if deal breaker as some folks have severe allergies and/or hate them.  I actually got on line when I got the two kittens for Christmas and decided I could not be a crazy cat lady.  I wanted a man in my life.   :P

NG likes animals, but not a cuddler of animals.  So, not petting or talking to them but tolerating them.  He would have a dog in a heart beat.  I love them, but my life style is not for a dog's care. 

Big cat is mellow as can be, but also cuddles on his terms, so not in our laps or anything.  Not sure of the behavior except testosterone?  Idk......

arneal

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #36 on: February 11, 2017, 05:08:17 PM »
Yes, tybec ... I think it is the testosterone challenge lol! My girl dog is generally sweet to NG and actually my boy is too, but he nips. He does that to men and women, but seems particularly into doing it at each chance with NG, who thinks it's the pup's way of trying to be Alpha. My cat is a boy, but as you note, cats do their own thing, regardless it seems of gender. They tolerate us :)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

MrsDan

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #37 on: February 15, 2017, 08:39:59 AM »
Oh wow, do you know what he did? He made me a book of all our OKCupid messages and the text messages up until our first date (which all took place over the course of six weeks). He included pictures of us and the restaurant where we had our first date. He then tallied the number of days we've known each other, and the number of text messages we've shared. It is so, so sweet.
You are the Bear of my heart dear,
And nothing can take that away.

arneal

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #38 on: February 15, 2017, 11:46:13 AM »
Love that, MrsDan! I have a book I made as well but I haven't shared it. I included things like movie and event tickets, along with a little description, a big leaf that was on my windshield after I stayed at his place New Year's Eve into New Year's Day, and little remembrances. It is my own keepsake that maybe I'll share one day. But I don't think I'll ever give it to him  ;D
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

SunshineFL

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #39 on: February 16, 2017, 06:49:06 AM »
Oh wow, do you know what he did? He made me a book of all our OKCupid messages and the text messages up until our first date (which all took place over the course of six weeks). He included pictures of us and the restaurant where we had our first date. He then tallied the number of days we've known each other, and the number of text messages we've shared. It is so, so sweet.

So caring of him, thoughtfully inspired and created,  and such a loving gift to you both on so many levels @MrsDan ... so sweet. Can feel you beaming and happy!


tybec

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #40 on: February 16, 2017, 08:53:27 AM »
MrsDan,

He is a keeper!  What a beautiful display of love, commitment and caring.  JUST WOW!

tybec

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #41 on: February 18, 2017, 08:31:25 AM »
Oh my!  NG and I had a big talk.  We had the long conversation a month ago today, using the 36 questions to fall in love.  Well, He is ready. He said he will give me to about Next Feb. to decide, but I need to let him know if I want to "play him or trade him."  I have had the same thought process.  Do you see me as long term, not just good on paper, a lifetime?  Or if not, let me go.  Life is too short for me to be in limbo.  This week is one year we connected on line!  I am so excited, scared, thrilled, in love.  So, the next step?  I take my mother to his town next week for the evaluation for her care level needs at a senior living community.  Probably she will need the dementia unit, honestly.  Talking to dear son about moving, but he wants to finish MS in this hometown.  I am honest with him that I think that would be great, but if grandmother needs to move, it would make sense for us to go sooner, than me travel all the time.  Budding relationships, I tell ya!

I am smiling, though.   :-*

arneal

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #42 on: February 18, 2017, 05:27:52 PM »
Good for you, tybec! So glad it's coming together with your family (son, mom) and NG.
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

arneal

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #43 on: February 18, 2017, 05:33:52 PM »
Since it just passed ...

How was Valentine's Day (for those who celebrate)?

I think I mentioned I gave NG a Valentine's Day card; if I did, feel free to skip this part lol. I gave it to him on my birthday (2/12) since it fell during the week and with his schedule I knew he wouldn't be coming round. He seemed a bit worried that he hadn't given me a card or anything and I told him it was just a card, no worries :) When Tuesday rolled around, he sent me a text to say Happy Valentine's Day, apologized that he couldn't come round due to needing to be on the road early in the morning, and asked if we could get together this weekend. I think I smiled for the next three days ... it was the first time not being married (in which it seems there's more obligation when such dates come for both people to say or do something) that I got a greeting for the day. The first husband didn't do such things and LH was always good about it when we got married, but while dating, this is new to me :) I'm off to cook dinner for us now and hope he can still come as the weather has been a bit strange here these last couple days ...
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

daysofelijah

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Re: For those in budding relationships ...
« Reply #44 on: February 19, 2017, 09:40:49 AM »
Hope you were able to enjoy that dinner and some time together with your guy arneal!

Valentine's Day went real well for us. NG has been doing a lot better the past couple weeks, though I'm still understandably very cautious still.

He got me pink roses and wrote me a really sweet note that included a cute country song with a box for check "yes" or "no". I've never gotten cute notes like that from anyone. Valentine's isn't something he gets into, so I appreciated his effort even more. I just gave him a cute card and some chocolates. I tend to go overboard on gifts so was proud of myself for just sticking to that this time.

He offered to take me out, but I wanted to stay home for the kids and avoid the crowds. So he grilled steaks and we had a nice dinner and time together after the kids went to bed. Probably the best Valentine's I've had in maybe forever.
Amy, mom to four (14,13,9,5)