Time Frame > Newly Widowed (1 day to 6 months)

There Is No Handbook

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Oh gosh yes. I was 33 and we had no kids. All of a sudden I lived in an alternate reality. But everyone had a view on how I should be handling it. I grew exhausted from trying to meet everyone's expectations and trying all their (well-meaning but clueless) suggested avenues to returning to 'normalcy'. Truth is, you can't.  This new reality is your reality. You have to find a way to live in it, and people have to adjust to the new you. My suggestion, based on what I wish I had done in hindsight, is to focus on you and what you need to do to heal. If people are interfering with your healing, you need to walk away. Not forever necessarily, but for a while. Give yourself space, and give them space. They are hurting too. Everyone is hurting and is easily hurt and upset. Like a wound. You cover it and protect it from things that might stop it healing or hurt it further. And once it is healed, the bandage can come off when the skin is a strong enough barrier again. Don't jump. Be proud every day that you haven't. Because it is tempting. But how happy you will be eventually that you didn't jump, because the new reality is that you are stronger and braver than you ever thought possible,

At almost 18 months i can honestly report that I don't actively look for that cliff every day. Some days yes but no longer every day. Some softening


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