Author Topic: For all the really young widows 20's or 30's  (Read 908 times)

momof201102016

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For all the really young widows 20's or 30's
« on: January 31, 2017, 08:22:51 PM »
Hi, I am newly widowed. I am 26 and my husband was 27. We were married 7 1/2 yrs. We have two beautiful kids a 6yr old and a 6 month old. He passed away Jan 10, 2017. He was born with a congenital heart disease called transposition of great vessels or aka blue baby. They did surgery on him at 5 months old and you couldn't even tell anything was wrong with him. He got a cough october 2015 and was diagnosed heart failure Jan ,1 2016. He went on a quick downward spiral and passed with end stage heart failure with his liver and kidneys shutting down and his heart barely beating. The lord blessed me with a beautiful baby girl and took her father in her place. We were young but I loved him dearly. Does the pain ever end? His mom is being brutal. She showed up first day after funeral to get his dragon ball z collection, his trophies, and his class ring. They already took the guest book from the funeral. They had the audacity to ask for his driver license and ssc. They say I didn't even care about him. I was there by his side through the whole sickness pregnant, let my diabetes go, and left my newborn to be by his side. Please someone give me some encouragement. My 6yr old has o.d.d., a.d.h.d, and d.m.d.d. the drs are wanting to hospitalize him because he is being so agressive. He beat up my sister by leaving welts on her arm and attacked my granny and had her bleeding shes 68.

Newgirl

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Re: For all the really young widows 20's or 30's
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2017, 03:43:18 PM »
Hi there,

Yes, the pain lessens.

You may wish to post in the parents section, there is a wider audience there, who may be able to offer advice.

One foot in front of the other.

MR

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Re: For all the really young widows 20's or 30's
« Reply #2 on: February 02, 2017, 02:44:07 PM »
Hi momof201102016,
So sorry for your loss and welcome to club nobody wants to be part of. Yes pain will lessen but never go away I suppose. I use to cry almost whole day and now came down to few times in 5 months. Yes it will be a good idea as Newgirl mentioned to put the query in parents section as some will able to help. Take care of yourself and your kids.
Manoj

RyanAmysMom

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Re: For all the really young widows 20's or 30's
« Reply #3 on: February 04, 2017, 12:05:41 AM »
My hubby passed 19 months ago due to complications from a similar heart condition - he was born with ToF - had 5 open heart surgeries throughout his life....
I don't have advice, other than to say be patient with yourself and the family - Grief makes people crazy, temporarily - and I suspect there were problems between you and his family before his passing?  I can't imagine people being that awful out of the blue..... Perhaps his mom is just trying to hold on to "something" of her baby?  My mother in law did ask for a few of my hubby's things after his passing, but at least she was civil about it....

Does the pain ever end?  Honestly, no.... but it will ease over time..... 

I pray you have someone that you can ask for help so that you can rest and grieve... 


KiwiMac13

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Re: For all the really young widows 20's or 30's
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2017, 11:48:55 PM »
Hi

I lost my love Dec 24 2016, 3 days after his 37th birthday. I'm crushed, and broken.

 I'm a mom of 2 boys. ages 3 and 15 months. I really don't know what to say. I feel like I needed to find a group I could talk to that knows what I'm feeling and going through.

My love got sick with a bone marrow disease (MDS, precursor to leukemia) in July. We were on a wait list for a bone marrow transplant. We thought at least with his sickness there was a cure. He was admitted to get prepped for his transplant, everything was going well, but then his 1st round of Chemo didn't work. We needed to start a 2nd round but, He came down with Pneumonia, and it went all down hill from there. Because his immune system was compromised from the chemo they could not figure out what type of Pneumonia he had. (fungal or bacterial) they put him on hella antibiotics, and anti-fungals, and all test results came back negative.  frustrating. He eventually ended up in the ICU where he went in to septic shock. He survived his septic shock. ALL the MDs told us they had no explanation on how he pulled though. My love was definitely a fighter! 2 days later they took his breathing tube out and we had a few days together. The day before his 37th birthday, the MD said we would need to re-intubate him. 4 days later he died. I stayed with him until I could not go any further with him. He was a hero, he was a Paramedic, He saved lives. It should not have happened this way.

Adley

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Re: For all the really young widows 20's or 30's
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2017, 12:36:17 AM »
Kiwi, I am so sorry. We all grieve with you. There are many comforting posts on this site, and many fine people wrote them. When you can't sleep or its just too much to bear, come read. Some ladies here have been in similar situations, and they would have no problem with you reaching out.  It will be hard, but you can hang on. You will. And vent as needed, that's really what keeps the mutual support going. Sending my best.
Here's to my pretty young wife     sleepin amongst the stars           now they say what's hers is mine but I know what's ours is ours

MR

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Re: For all the really young widows 20's or 30's
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2017, 10:24:44 AM »
Hi Kiwi,
So sorry for your loss. As Adley mentioned this forum will help you speak, hear and write your  and eveyone else thoughts. I lost my wife in Aug end due to medical injury and still pain is there but now it is little better than earlier, I suppose brain and heart knows how much pain you can take. So please take care of your kids and even more importantly yourself as they can rely on you but you cannot rely on anybody.

Hugs
Manoj