Author Topic: Well, I'd like to see them try!  (Read 976 times)


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Well, I'd like to see them try!
« on: February 03, 2017, 01:53:36 PM »
So, I've been more emotional today than I've been in a long time, and it seems to have been triggered by a letter to me from the Child Support Recovery Unit that came yesterday. I think I was already pretty well primed for a meltdown anyway- just passed LH's 3rd birthday without him, sick child, me recovering from one knee surgery & prepping for the other one in a few weeks, made a big move involving a complete lifestyle change (unwelcomed) last summer and still trying to sort and unpack, among the highlights. :'(

Changing insurance this year has been a complete mess, apparently due to a typo somewhere on my dob. Then someone somewhere in the system put my youngest on Medicaid even tho I didn't request it.

*That* apparently has led to my letter from the state, offering me child support services, even waiving the normal $25 application fee.  And what can they do for me? Why, they can:
- Establish paternity
- Get an order for support
- Collect said support
- Modify a support order
- And, last but not least, locate the missing parent, etc.!! ???

And today I find myself really rattled- swinging between laughing at how ridiculous it is, crying because it somehow rubs it in that he's dead like it just happened, and just totally off balance.

I keep trying to think of ways to respond- I don't want to get any more letters like this. My current favorite thought is to respond back, "Her dad's not a *deadbeat;* he's just *DEAD.* But, hey, if the CSRU thinks they can go get him, I'm certainly not gonna stop you!"

I'm just hoping writing it down will somehow get it out of my head. Thanks for putting up with my rant! I think I feel a little clearer headed getting it out already.


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  • Widowed August 2013
Re: Well, I'd like to see them try!
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2017, 05:19:35 PM »
sojourner   I don't know whether to laugh or cry at your post - I'm doing a little of both!  At 3-1/2 years out, I still get emailed birthday greetings and other correspondence to DH as if he's still around.  Always stings to get these kinds of things.
Have I told you lately how much I love you?


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Re: Well, I'd like to see them try!
« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2017, 06:22:01 PM »
So sorry you got this message and for all the curveballs life is throwing at you.  I personally love your draft reply re: dead vs. deadbeat.  It might be a good lesson for them to check their facts.  The office of my DH's primary oncologist sent my DH a bill for the insurance company's medical record check (which I already find offensive)---after he died under the oncologist's care.  I sent a polite but firm flame letter.  Hugs.


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Re: Well, I'd like to see them try!
« Reply #3 on: February 04, 2017, 08:47:56 AM »
Ugh - sometimes it helps to laugh at the absurd.  Someone stole my dead husband's identity within hours of his death.  I didn't find out until I filed my taxes more than two months later.  At that point, I was pretty fragile and remember sitting in the accountant's office not crying but laughing maniacally.  A case of stolen identity?  MORE paperwork to fill out?!  I was very naive - I guess it happens all the time.  Anyway, he thought I was nuts.  I probably was.

Hope humor prevails in the end - if it is any consolation, I've been in a 48 hour meltdown myself.  Solidarity! 


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Re: Well, I'd like to see them try!
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2017, 07:41:52 PM »
oh go for it, someone needs to learn a lesson!