Time Frame > Shock Wears Off, Reality Sets In ( 6 to 12 months)

Are you doing anything in their memory?

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My husband was a coffee addict. We plannex on opening a cafe one day. One of the last things he wrote on my kitchen chalkboard was the new name for our cafe. He used to get coffee regularly from this one place and they were so devastated when he passed away they donated a whole bunch of coffee to the funeral so that it wouldn't have to smell like anything but his favorite coffee. I've actually got them to agree to name their next coffee after him. I know he'd be proud. It doesn't bring him back but it brings me joy that he'll be remembered this way.

Are you doing anything in your sweethearts honor?

That is so cool, KK.

I didn't have to because something was done already in his honor. My husband's company loved him and his death was a terrible blow to them and their organization. They created an award in his honor where employees need to nominate someone who exhibits the traits they loved and respected of him. They paid for the creation of a unique light saber design that I chose and the winner will get one of these light sabers every year. As you could guess, he was a big Star Wars fan. 

That sounds lovely @Julester3. You must have been so touched.

For my first husband, we had donations go to 3 agencies that were important to him, including a playground accessible to all children and adults.  We had been involved in the design of this playground over 20 years ago.  It has since fallen into disrepair and there is a fundraising campaign to rebuild the playground from more durable materials.  I may dedicate a piece of equipment there to my husband.  He never had an accessible playground when he was young, and he always had to use a wheelchair.

My second husband was a university professor and researcher.  I have a scholarship in his name.  There is a new faculty award at the university for undergraduate research mentoring that is named for him.  There is a day celebrating research at the university as well.  My husband started this day 13 or 14 years ago to encourage faculty and students to showcase their work.  Just following his death, the university named this day for him...so is is now called the John H*******s Scholarly and Creative Activities Day.  His name is plastered all over campus.  That was initially very jarring, but I am getting more accustomed to it.  I have funded the awards for the poster competition for this celebration of research, which was very dear to his heart.

It is important to me that my husbands are remembered.



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