Author Topic: Taking a poll  (Read 2337 times)

StillWidowed

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Taking a poll
« on: March 08, 2017, 08:38:23 AM »
How long do you think a woman should chat with a man online before:
A. She says it's time to meet
B. She just quietly drifts away? 

wecouldbeheros

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Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2017, 09:09:42 AM »
30 seconds is too short and 1 minute too long.

StillWidowed

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Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2017, 09:14:55 AM »
I love a smartass response first thing in the morning!

StillWidowed

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Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #3 on: March 08, 2017, 09:23:34 AM »
To be honest, I can't believe I've been chatting with him as long as I have.  A whole whopping six days as I HATE online dating.  In a weak, bored moment I got back online.  It doesn't last long with me, so he'd better get a hoppin'.

daysofelijah

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Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2017, 11:44:06 AM »
Unless it's long distance (which I wouldn't do anyway) I wouldn't talk for more than a week without some indication of a meeting irl. Some guys seem to just want penpals.
Amy, mom to four (14,13,9,5)

SunshineFL

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Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #5 on: March 08, 2017, 05:00:38 PM »
Unless it's long distance (which I wouldn't do anyway) I wouldn't talk for more than a week without some indication of a meeting irl. Some guys seem to just want penpals.

Agree with @daysofelijah - so true, sometimes that is all they want - for WEEKS or even MONTHS (the false appearance of a relationship, but it is only via messages or texts). Be cautious of that.

Keep us posted @stillwidowed
« Last Edit: March 08, 2017, 06:00:13 PM by SunshineFL »

klim

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Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #6 on: March 08, 2017, 05:20:14 PM »
A week before at least mentioning it although it may actually take longer for it to come to fruition.

I personally hate talking on the phone...I feel all nervous and fake and  like I try to hard...I'm way more relaxed meeting....I know I'm weird.
<a data-flickr-embed="true"  href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/76752159@N08/35633945020/in/dateposted-public/" title="68887863-ed45-49be-8091-d063d8095c3a_zps0693c059"><img src="https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4308/35633945020_f20f4231a2.jpg" width="300" height="225" alt="68887863-ed45-49be-8091-d063d8095c3a_zps0693c059"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

SunshineFL

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Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #7 on: March 08, 2017, 06:02:23 PM »
 ;) not weird @klim - uniquely wonderful you - - we are all so different - what works for one need not work well for another.

twin_mom

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Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #8 on: March 08, 2017, 07:25:46 PM »
I think it depends on the frequency/content of the conversations. I usually went 2-3 weeks of 1-2 emails a day before meeting. But NG will tell you that I had a rigorous questioning during that time. I didn't mean to- but I did have second dates with every meet but 1, so I guess I did?
However, I also had two preteens in the home and a 50+hours a week job outside the home, so it was easier for me to invest in messaging than meeting.

RobFTC

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Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #9 on: March 08, 2017, 09:46:56 PM »
I usually expressed interest in meeting after 2-3 message exchanges.  I was OK with the woman needing more time, and I was OK with setting up a meeting a ways out in the future to deal with the realities of life.  But the last time I waited almost a month to meet someone local with regular messaging going on, it was a giant waste of time - we met, it seemed fine, but the offer of a second date was met with news about a second job over the holidays and how hard it was going to be.  If the guy won't suggest meeting, you should decide how long your timer is and what happens when it goes off.

Take care,
Rob T
There was something fishy about the butler.  I think he was a Pisces, probably working for scale.

StillWidowed

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Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #10 on: March 09, 2017, 12:14:39 PM »
Update:  I suggested the exchange of numbers (spidey senses were up) and he said ok.  Exchanged numbers and it was then him:  "did you get my text".  Me:  "no".  Him:  "must be my phone.  It did this with my son.  It's a 4S".  Me:  "Well I should still be able to receive texts from you".  Him:  crickets

I thought I was getting better at spotting the fakes and scammers, but I have to admit I haven't been keeping up with online dating.  Maybe they've got some new tricks I'm not picking up on.  Either way, I only wasted 6 days, and even at that, I don't get too invested in this stuff. 


Forgottenwife

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Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #11 on: March 09, 2017, 12:40:11 PM »
Update:  Exchanged numbers and it was then him:  "did you get my text".  Me:  "no".  Him:  "must be my phone.  It did this with my son.  It's a 4S".  Me:  "Well I should still be able to receive texts from you".  Him:  crickets


Oh, what a drag. You give a man your phone number and then he 'tries' to text you? Um, no. I don't want to be unkind, maybe he is super shy or he's been rejected or I don't know but when I give a man my phone number, if he is at all interested in getting to know me, he should call. Or, he can message he will call and ask for a good time to do so, but, other than that? Nah. I'd like to meet adults, that know how to make a phone call and ask the other person for coffee. Or a frozen yogurt. Or to meet at the driving range. Or something. Sigh**

I went online to meet people, and if they didn't want to meet after a few messages, I just stopped talking to them. Your time is valuable, this guy sounds like he's just not ready to go out.

I like your attitude, it was only 6 days!

jmringo

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Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #12 on: March 09, 2017, 02:24:46 PM »
The sooner, the better. You want to make the connection to meet but if you wait too long, you will lose it. Or worse yet, feel like you wasted that time.

klim

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Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #13 on: March 09, 2017, 07:16:51 PM »
I try not to think any of this is a "waste of time".
Last october I spent the month of October seeing a guy once a week and texting every day....never got past a hug..in the end he said it wasn't working
. I don't think that was a wasted month...I feel it was a pleasant way to pass some time.

..but maybe that's because I'm often bored and looking for something to occupy my time.
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StillWidowed

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Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #14 on: March 10, 2017, 02:39:01 PM »
Nah, he completely stopped communicating once I pushed for a phone number to move to the next phase.  That tells me he was a fake or probably married.  Just wanted to chat online and feed his ego.  I don't have that kind of time, so yes, it was a waste for me.