Author Topic: Taking a poll  (Read 2277 times)

calimom

  • Member
  • Posts: 118
Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #15 on: March 10, 2017, 11:30:29 PM »
Not really taking your poll, but hope you're reading the responses here. Probably treating online dating (and admittedly I'm no expert) as entertainment might be the way to go. If someone is not into you - even if there might have been an initial spark - they're just not into you. Try not to take it personally. The delete key on your computer might be a useful tool. In general, the ability to move on is a good life skill.

Wishing you the best, and try not to get too wrapped up in this.
"I'm breaking through, I'm bending spoons, I'm keeping flowers in full bloom" - REM

wecouldbeheros

  • Guest
Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #16 on: March 13, 2017, 11:00:51 AM »
Ok change my answer, few days, week at most, then consider it a waste of time.

MrsDan

  • Member
  • Posts: 470
Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #17 on: March 13, 2017, 01:55:23 PM »
My boyfriend and I messaged for about six weeks. Yes that seems long. But I had a little trouble getting him to open up about himself. And for me to send messages took little time or effort. But to get a sitter, that was a big deal, and I had to make sure it was worth it. I will say that there was something that just kept drawing me back to him when we were messaging. I just knew there was something there.
You are the Bear of my heart dear,
And nothing can take that away.

wecouldbeheros

  • Guest
Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #18 on: March 14, 2017, 03:43:33 AM »
Of course results may vary ( :

imissdow

  • Member
  • Posts: 234
Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #19 on: March 14, 2017, 11:42:20 AM »
Typically I'm good meeting within a 2 weeks, often less. Last guy I met just a little over a week after starting to message. I almost always suggest a meeting and plan it out several days in advance. Once I express this I expect a guy to run with it, most do.

StillWidowed

  • Member
  • Posts: 66
Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #20 on: March 14, 2017, 01:59:24 PM »
I just ran into the same problem again.  They are fakes.  Probably big fat hairy men hiding behind a computer screen.  Most men want to meet me right away.  In fact, probably too quickly for my comfort, but now I know the ones that are real and the ones that are fake (for the most part).  Real usually want to meet me pretty quickly.  Like right now I have 14 messages.  I can't keep up with all of them.  The majority want to meet but I'm not attracted to most so the weeding continues.

trying2breathe

  • Member
  • Posts: 368
  • Widowed August 2013
Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #21 on: March 15, 2017, 04:57:28 PM »
klim  Not weird at all to prefer IRL over texting or phone calls.  Meeting in person works way better for me too. 


I'm impatient, depending on how texts/calls and circumstances are going, I don't like to wait much longer than a week.  If that doesn't work, I move on.  Oh well.
Have I told you lately how much I love you?

ladybug

  • Member
  • Posts: 65
Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #22 on: March 16, 2017, 05:29:22 AM »
I think 2 weeks is a good time frame to text and phone.....after that if they don't want to meet, something is off.....but that is just my opinion.

A few months ago I wasted a month out of my life waiting to meet a guy.......long story short he was "not a good guy".

I learned the hard way......this is just my opinion.

Best of luck to all of us that do the online dating......

nonesuch

  • Guest
Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #23 on: March 20, 2017, 07:05:04 PM »
I try not to think any of this is a "waste of time".
Last october I spent the month of October seeing a guy once a week and texting every day....never got past a hug..in the end he said it wasn't working
. I don't think that was a wasted month..

It took me a while to get to the same point.  We're coming into this from relatively successful relationships.  Most single people are not.

The other day, my boss asked me what my funniest date was.  I can tell funny stories about my dates, and my reactions to them.  The men themselves were mostly not funny.  Some of them were odd or sad.  Most of them were lonely. 

With that in mind, it may be wise to remember that our potential dates may have been out there longer than we have.  They've been stood up, they've been met and rejected.  Society has gotten coarser over the last 25 (or 40) years, and the dates that preceded you may not have been kind about it.  Only a couple of the men I met, (in one case, didn't meet) were intentionally unkind.  Most of them were rather weary.

Toward the end, I met a fellow who had married in haste and was in the midst of a breakup.  Not only had the bride been less and less attentive as the months went on, in the end, she had essentially dumped him- on his birthday.  He had driven a couple hours to meet me, even though we'd already decided we lived too far apart to date. He reminded me that the journey is as important as the destination. 

Every date I went on was practice for if and when I met the right person.  Giving others a chance to tell me a little of their stories was probably good practice for them. 

My consort's daughter did a lot of internet dating.  She refused to meet anyone who wouldn't engage in two weeks of emails and such to get to know her.  Me, I would want to meet right off.  She lived in NYC, though. Maybe that gave her more time to check for criminal records.

SemperFidelis

  • Member
  • Posts: 222
Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #24 on: March 20, 2017, 11:27:11 PM »
Well I've only met two. My initial thought is that I want to meet soon, within a week or two.

But the current guy I'm corresponding with.....its not gonna work to meet for another week or two. I think we have been talking for two weeks now. We had two or three loooooong phone conversations like......two or more hours each lol. Minimal texting through the week as he has been busier and so have I. Somehow, it feels fine. Normally I'd call it off, but the way we interact feels more like old friends who can pick up after months or years. I like that and I feel at ease even thhough timing isn't what I would like it to be. We shall see what happens. It may turn into nothing but I kinda like this ride even if that's the case.

nonesuch

  • Guest
Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #25 on: March 22, 2017, 07:09:19 PM »
I put an ad on Craig's List around the beginning of December 2012.  After weeding through the responses, and finding two I wished to meet,  I then realized December was a busy month, both for work and for visiting with family.  Candidate X canceled two dates, nc/ns on the third.  Current consort and I were in casual contact throughout, with me apologizing for placing an ad at such a busy time.  We did finally meet mid-January, so I guess I did actually Google-chat and email him for about a month before we actually met. That meeting was delayed for about a week.  He had a cold, and he actually suggested that we not meet while he was sick because he didn't want me sick on my vacation he next week.

arneal

  • Member
  • Posts: 642
    • The Starving Activist
Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #26 on: July 25, 2017, 09:02:26 PM »
Just saw this poll, so I hope the conversation continues as I'd love to know how everyone is doing.

nonesuch -- I love your word 'consort' :D

When I jumped into the deep end of this online dating thing, I had absolutely no clue what it was all about. I did not do my due diligence but quickly learned to swim with the sharks after getting bit by that first troll; fortunately nothing terrible happened but it made me wake up to the reality that dating had become a very different thing that it had been back before I met the first husband. And based on him, even though online dating did not exist, I should have known better but as was said, if we came from a decent thing, it's hard to recognize the crap sometimes.

After that troll incident, I set my standards as very specific: someone close enough that we could meet in short order for coffee or something at least. If he wasn't willing to do that, bye. NG and I messaged on the dating site for the first day or so; let me tell you, I wasn't going to send any messages to him even though I loved his profile and his photos. It took me taking a breath and stepping back from it to look objectively at the 'competition' -- in this case, there were a few comments on the photos like 'Hi' or 'Cute photo'. No substance. Based on his profile, I took him to be a man of substance. So I selected the photo I liked best, which was of him in some sort of vehicle, and asked the question, 'What are you driving?' It got his attention and he responded. I 'liked' his profile finally and he responded by 'liking' mine. We started the messaging thing and then traded numbers on like day one or two. He called me the same day that I gave my # and we talked for about an hour, made arrangements to meet in two days. We met as planned and talked for like four hours while we ate lunch. That was a year and a couple months ago now and I hope we keep growing together :)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

jgib

  • Member
  • Posts: 101
Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #27 on: August 15, 2017, 02:33:00 PM »
Hmmm....interesting.  As of yet, I have not been the one to suggest a meeting.  I am a bit old school and think if a man has an interest, he will suggest it.
This may be why a couple of communications that seemed interesting just stopped.  If men are used to women suggesting the first meeting I may have seemed disinterested.
Oh well, not I a hurry anyways.  Don't really like this whole dating thing much.

arneal

  • Member
  • Posts: 642
    • The Starving Activist
Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #28 on: August 16, 2017, 11:00:00 AM »
jgib -- it seems the way of dating, particularly online, has changed quite a bit. The Young, Widowed, and Dating site is offering a dating webinar this weekend (I get their emails as I needed to learn about dating after being widowed the second time. I had no clue about dating before this and with the advent of online dating and all that, I knew I needed help!) for those who might be interested: http://youngwidowedanddating.com/events/

I did make the suggestion of getting together first by saying something like 'We should meet up for coffee or lunch or something!'; my NG gave me his #, I gave him mine. He called me. It's all about how interested you are as you said, jgib. I was VERY interested in him from what I saw in his profile and the fact that we had good written communication, so I was willing to step out of what little comfort zone I had  :o :)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

jgib

  • Member
  • Posts: 101
Re: Taking a poll
« Reply #29 on: August 16, 2017, 04:11:29 PM »
Thanks anneal, will check that site out.