Author Topic: Those dating divorcee with nutty ex  (Read 7424 times)

Sugarbell

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Re: Those dating divorcee with nutty ex
« Reply #60 on: May 01, 2017, 03:26:45 PM »
Over the weekend we all hung out...NG and daughter went to games with us..they came up Sunday for my birthday dinner at my parents. He dropped her off to her Mom at 5 (supposed to be 2..but her flight was late from Key West 🙄).

I was teaching at High school today...this afternoon daughter comes bobbing into the classroom with homemade cookies she made for me last night. She said she wanted to bring me cookies on my birthday. She is the sweetest kid. I asked NG after work if she caught Hell for it...He laughed and said "No..she told her Mom she was making cookies for her friends at school so she wouldn't flip out on her. "

Gawd this women is going to hate me even more...hope I don't come home someday and find a boiling rabbit in a pot in the kitchen (Fatal attraction)
B.W.H. 9/24/2007

arneal

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Re: Those dating divorcee with nutty ex
« Reply #61 on: May 01, 2017, 11:29:50 PM »
Sugarbell -- sounds like she is a great young lady, NGs daughter. That is a blessing right there. Mom? Not so much  :P Which makes it difficult to stay neutral. However, you are doing a fabulous job of navigating these choppy waters. Good for you as you are being a role model for NG and his daughter. That's fabulous. (((hugs)))
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Sugarbell

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Re: Those dating divorcee with nutty ex
« Reply #62 on: May 02, 2017, 05:31:41 AM »
At ballgame last night...daughter called her Dad..45 minutes of crying.

Mom threw fit over something...she packed up all daughters clothes screaming "I'm going to drop you off somewhere else to make you happy..just live with your Dad and her" (and no we are nowhere close to living together)

Clothes were all over the yard, suitcase..She finally calmed down and went to bed (Mom) Dad told daughter to go to bed. He expects her Mom will wake her up in the middle of the night to apologize. He says that's usually what happens.

Bat Shit Crazy.
B.W.H. 9/24/2007

Captains wife

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Re: Those dating divorcee with nutty ex
« Reply #63 on: May 02, 2017, 06:50:58 AM »
First of all you wonder how great guys marry crazy women like this. And I feel so bad for the great daughter- it makes me disgusted his ex is behaving this way. Sugar bell - I admire your resilience towards this situation. Make sure you share techniques of how to block out this toxic behaviour.

BrokenHeart2

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Re: Those dating divorcee with nutty ex
« Reply #64 on: May 02, 2017, 07:20:03 AM »
Bat shit crazy sounds right.  Why is BF allowing his daughter to live with this nutjob?
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

Sugarbell

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Re: Those dating divorcee with nutty ex
« Reply #65 on: May 02, 2017, 07:39:03 AM »
High school sweethearts...married at 20. She wasn't crazy in high school.

She stays at her parents in town when she has her daughter. He was upset her parents didn't say anything..but I think they walk on eggshells too. I think he just wanted out of the marriage and it was joint 50/50 custody and he felt better that she would be at her grandparents on days she's with her Mom. Mom has rental house in "city"but it was worked out that she would stay at her folks on days during the week when she had her daughter. She holds a full time job in the "city". Even my sons middle school coach..who talks about no one said to me the other day "Glad you are with him..he's a great guy but his ex is a crazy ass".

I think it upset her that this weekend daughter was at my parents with him for dinner and my Mom (retired high school teacher) really hit it off with her too. The kid just wants a peaceful family life-she gets along with everyone-she hasn't rebelled or anything (in spite of her mother). She failed her learners permit for her license last week and wants her license so bad so she can have more say about where she goes. She's 15.. I believe kids at 15 are allowed to choose aren't they? And he hasn't dated anyone in 2.5 years since the divorce..pretty much because of Moms volatile behavior..so now it's cranked up because he has a girlfriend, his daughter likes me and my kids, our families like each other, etc.

I'm staying as neutral as I can...but I am no longer going to hide " us" and walk on eggshells worried about this woman. She kept screaming "I probably have MS..and look what you are doing to me".

I expect an overdose soon...and plenty of drama/show to come with it. I know I sound callous ...but it's too predictable. And I really am falling for this guy. He is just such an amazing man of character.
B.W.H. 9/24/2007

Sugarbell

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Re: Those dating divorcee with nutty ex
« Reply #66 on: May 02, 2017, 07:46:23 AM »
I think the way of blocking her out is..I've fallen for him. I know him..I have people locally vouching for his character who have known him for 40 years. He's solid..he's what I've been looking for..I don't fall easily..but we just flow together-we are easy it's not work. So I ignore her..and everyone I encounter is happy for the two of us and say she's crazy. That makes it easy. She won't get a word outta me..nothing. Saying nothing around Crazy is better than being nice and trying to reason with them or play nice.

I don't play with crazy toxic people. Just nothing.
B.W.H. 9/24/2007

BrokenHeart2

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Re: Those dating divorcee with nutty ex
« Reply #67 on: May 02, 2017, 09:58:23 AM »
Good plan!  I used to say to DH "I don't do crazy well" and he knew it.  I did the same, said nothing.  As the kids get older there will be even less reason for her to contact your NG so there is that to look forward to as well.  Good luck SB!!
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

Forgottenwife

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Re: Those dating divorcee with nutty ex
« Reply #68 on: May 02, 2017, 11:41:18 AM »
Mom threw fit over something...she packed up all daughters clothes screaming "I'm going to drop you off somewhere else to make you happy..just live with your Dad and her" (and no we are nowhere close to living together)

Clothes were all over the yard, suitcase..

Someone could have called the police. Imagining if my boyfriend or roommate or SO started screaming and throwing my belongings around, I would immediately leave. And if they tried to stop me from leaving and I was able to, I would call the police. In my opinion, this is not just crazy, its abusive. If one of your friends told you this story, would you feel that they should immediately leave the situation? No different just because she is a minor. Being treated like that by your mom is bullshit.

I really feel for this kid.

Sugarbell

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Re: Those dating divorcee with nutty ex
« Reply #69 on: May 02, 2017, 12:48:00 PM »
Yes you are right...it's abusive. That's why NG was so upset that the grandparents did nothing.

I'm hoping she goes off the deep end and moves south to the beach like she keeps threatening too. It would be the best thing she could do for her daughter is to just leave.
B.W.H. 9/24/2007

Forgottenwife

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Re: Those dating divorcee with nutty ex
« Reply #70 on: May 02, 2017, 01:08:43 PM »
Ugh, I'm so sorry.

Sugarbell

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Re: Those dating divorcee with nutty ex
« Reply #71 on: May 02, 2017, 03:10:39 PM »
Argued all morning in car..Her Mother said she's just too much for her to handle right now..Had daughter in tears at school this morning.

Then this afternoon had flowers delivered to the school to her daughter apologizing. (I subbed at high school today)

Classic textbook abusive relationship. Absolutely insane. Daughter knows and called her Dad on school bus..He told her to just act appreciative..She has dance class from 5-9 so she won't have to see her Mom much tonight and she's with him rest of the week.

Sigh..finally find the man of my dreams and his ex is absolutely bonkers.
B.W.H. 9/24/2007

BrokenHeart2

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Re: Those dating divorcee with nutty ex
« Reply #72 on: May 02, 2017, 03:40:08 PM »
Maybe it's time BF went back to court to get his daughter out of the nut house.  Obviously her parents are not any help.  Why should she have to suffer the craziness of her mother.  Doesn't sound very fair to me.
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

Sugarbell

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Re: Those dating divorcee with nutty ex
« Reply #73 on: May 03, 2017, 08:05:21 AM »
He doesn't even need to go back to court...In WV kids 14 and older have a say and she could stay with her Dad all the time. He's been wanting her too for some time.

This last stunt I think about did NG and his daughter in. He was up all night the night it happened worried about her. His daughter is a pleaser....a peace maker and thought if she spent 50/50 with both parents it would keep Mom happy.

It's not working...I look for her to gradually spend more and more days with her Dad. It's already 70 percent of the time instead of 50/50..cause he gladly takes her when Mom takes her unexpected sugar daddy trips.

I
B.W.H. 9/24/2007

MrsDan

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Re: Those dating divorcee with nutty ex
« Reply #74 on: May 03, 2017, 11:39:45 AM »
Maybe it's time BF went back to court to get his daughter out of the nut house.  Obviously her parents are not any help.  Why should she have to suffer the craziness of her mother.  Doesn't sound very fair to me.

This is often a lot easier said than done. SB's NG is fortunate in that his daughter is old enough to have a say. But for younger children winning physical custody away from one parent is tough, and expensive. Like, upwards of tens of thousands of dollars. And being emotionally abusive or just a shitty person, that won't cut it. The burden of proof is extraordinarily high. In my opinion, the system places the rights of the parents over the rights of the child.

Every time there is an issue with one parent being non-compliant, whether it's involving parenting time, scheduling, providing information or whatever, the other parent has to file a motion, which is a few hundred dollars right there. Both have to pay, even the party who has been denied their rights. Everything, discovery and all that, it costs money. What galls me is all the money being wasted by parents who want to cock block, that is all money that could be spent on the kids. It's crazy.

You are the Bear of my heart dear,
And nothing can take that away.