Author Topic: Struggling  (Read 497 times)

Missing AC

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Struggling
« on: March 29, 2017, 11:36:12 PM »
I've had a tough day today.  It's 4 months since he died, so suddenly.  Next week is my son's spring break and we have no plans.  A few weeks before he passed we had been talking about what we would do for spring break- maybe visit his cousins in Chicago or visit Niagara Falls(the Canadian side).  Now spring break is here and he is not.  His clothes still hangs in the closet and sits in the drawers.  Some days I feel like I am ready to start going through his things but then I don't have the strength.  In some ways it's like guilt hits me.  I want to change the bedroom furniture but then I don't.  I'm tired of the emotional rollercoaster.  I miss him so much, I miss my best friend.  I just want my life back the way it was- happy.

MR

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2017, 09:22:58 AM »
So sorry for your loss AC. I am 7 months out today and still can't go thru the wardrobe as start crying or feels her smell in some clothes. Take it easy and if you want to go somewhere for spring break please do so. I went to India planning everything last minute in Dec and trust me it was worth all the efforts it took me as  I was finally able to smile few times without faking it. So sometimes we have to give ourself some credit for going thru this phase and still alive.
Good luck and hugs

beth_krkswidow

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2017, 07:46:20 PM »
So so sorry, Missing, so sorry. At 10 months, his toothbrush is still in its holder, his clothes remain where they were. I haven't even unpacked his hospital bag. I still can't move anything. Do or don't do, whatever is right for you. It's your grief. Don't let anyone tell you what you should do. I'm so sorry you are here. Hugs.
"Until my last breath, I loved you more than life itself." ~Kirk, in his envelope to be opened only upon his death.  And now I to you, My Love, until my last breath...

Kater

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2017, 10:38:18 AM »
i just passed 15 months and have not gotten rid of his clothes (I relocated things out of the dresser but still have them).  Coats still fill the hall closet.  His shoes take up most of the shoe rack in the garage.  His half of the closet is as it was.  There are some hooks in the closet and it took me a year to take his pj pants off the hook he left them on his last time at home.  I was just thinking yeasterday that I might tackle packing things up soon, but I don't want to yet.  So I will leave the idea and revisit it when it comes up next time.

4 months is very, very early in this process.  At 15 months sometimes I feel like I am just getting started.  Do things as you feel ready for them, even if that is longer than you thought or expected it would be.

Sending you hugs.
Kate




beth_krkswidow

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #4 on: April 02, 2017, 05:17:14 PM »
Thank you,  Kate. So good to know I'm not the only one.  Hugs
"Until my last breath, I loved you more than life itself." ~Kirk, in his envelope to be opened only upon his death.  And now I to you, My Love, until my last breath...

Callobg

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #5 on: April 03, 2017, 11:13:08 AM »
At 3 yrs and 2 mths, non of my WIFE's stuff has been moved. No plan on moving any of it. I miss you Latisha.
Forever and always my wife, my friend, my lover, my everything.


Love you LSC.

MR

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #6 on: April 04, 2017, 09:20:19 AM »
Yes it is tough every month I think i will donate her stuff but can't get courage so they are still there. Finally tomorrow took out some stuff but again starting feeling low.

Thanks
Manoj

Laura1612

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #7 on: April 05, 2017, 07:01:59 PM »
You are not alone!

Five months out, his toothbrush is still there, closets full, and I haven't unpacked the suitcase from his last trip to the hospital ... that we assumed he was coming home from. You aren't crazy. Well, we are all a little crazy after this hell.

Laura
May the Force be with you.

Missing AC

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #8 on: April 06, 2017, 02:26:26 PM »
Thank you all.  It's  good to know I am not alone and crazy (well, as Laura said, maybe just a bit).  No one understands our struggles and the difficulties of this journey, except those who are living it.