Author Topic: Hi there  (Read 478 times)

AlisonF

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Hi there
« on: May 04, 2017, 01:51:43 AM »
Hi there,

I just thought I'd introduce myself. I'm 31 and my wonderful husband passed away 10 days ago. We spent every waking minute together, he loved me more then I could ever imagine. We had a wonderful life together. But he suddenly left this world and me in an accident. I'm so lost, I can't eat, I can't talk and I have this huge missing part of me. I'm going to have to change my entire life, I regret so many things, like not starting a family with him sooner. We were going to travel and save for a house. I feel like I'm grieving him and all the things we had planned. Sometimes this just feel too big for me, he said he'd never leave me but he left me in the worst way possible.

Julester3

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Re: Hi there
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2017, 05:57:53 AM »
First things first, a hug because we widows don't get them much anymore and they help. I am so sorry you have joined us here. My husband had a heart attack, asymptomatic, last year. You can't treat heart problems if the person had no symptoms to observe. He went to tennis after work and died at his club. What sucks in our situations is we had no freaking control. It's not what either you or your husband would have wanted but happened anyway. You will feel sadness, anger, regret and not only will your mourn your loss of the physical man but those dreams and plans you had will have to be figured out all over again. Processing takes time so take your time and do it as what feels organic to you. I recommend counseling when you are ready to talk. This place was great just reading and processing stories and situations at first. It helped me get over a lot. Take help whenever offered; people want to help so give them the opportunity and tell them what you need. Don't forget to take care of yourself - you need to think that your husband would want you to at least try to live for his sake since his life was taken. I used my kids to motivate me. However you can get through the day is okay. I also use distraction. I make myself so busy that I can push the sadness to the background. Time will slowly help but that is different for everyone. There is no magic time frame.

So another hug and please let us know how you are doing. Vent if you need to. Share and we will listen.

Julie

MR

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Re: Hi there
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2017, 09:04:49 AM »
Hi AlisonF,
So sorry for your loss and it sucks to be part of this group but again this group is where you will get so peace seeing and talking to people who are going or gone thru the same process. Lots of good advice will come.

Julester3 : So nicely you have put the words. I totally agree with each word and sentence.

AlisonF please take care of yourself, eat and drink water as much as you wish. If you don't feel like eating please eat small portions. Next few weeks will be torture but again we all have to go thru it. Once the brain will start accepting the truth the pain will not be less but I suppose we learn to deal with it.

Hugs
Manoj

Mizpah

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Re: Hi there
« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2017, 09:25:27 AM »
Oh hon.  I could've written this word for word, truly, except I was 32, and he died on April 30th.  Otherwise, every single word.  That was six years ago now.  Keep breathing.  Keep hydrated.  Get sunshine.  Let your feelings out.  We are all walking this path with you, next to you, in front of you, behind you....  We all get it.  Back then, I thought of it as having to survive the unsurvivable, bear the unbearable....  I'm wishing you moments of comfort and solace in your days. 
widowed 2011 (DH 28)

AlisonF

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Re: Hi there
« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2017, 10:35:57 AM »
Thank you so much Julie, Manoj and Mizpah. Your words have brought me so much comfort. I just can't help staring into the future without him and the horror of his loss won't leave me. The future is so bleak and nothing holds my attention for long, and I break down again. I'm so glad for the comforting words here, where I live there isn't much of support for this, but I do have wonderful parents and a sister, however they are so worried about me I find them overwhelming. I never thought I'd find myself here, that he will never come home to me again. I haven't had an independent thought since I was 24. Our love was so immense, but reading other people's experiences makes me realise I'm not the only one in the world who feels like this.

 Mizphah I'd love to get sunshine, but unfortunately I live in a country that doesn't get much of it. Maybe I'll move somewhere that does.

MR

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  • Posts: 220
Re: Hi there
« Reply #5 on: May 04, 2017, 04:15:05 PM »

HI,
See this is the strength of this forum and all broken people are trying to help each other. Biggest thing is that we are going thru the grief which only few people experience so difficult to find people but when  you are on this forum we are all together to help each other. Keep posting and also read some old threads and write as much as you want considering no one is going to judge you. I found big comfort doing this as I am not a person who can write journals.

Hugs
Manoj



Thank you so much Julie, Manoj and Mizpah. Your words have brought me so much comfort. I just can't help staring into the future without him and the horror of his loss won't leave me. The future is so bleak and nothing holds my attention for long, and I break down again. I'm so glad for the comforting words here, where I live there isn't much of support for this, but I do have wonderful parents and a sister, however they are so worried about me I find them overwhelming. I never thought I'd find myself here, that he will never come home to me again. I haven't had an independent thought since I was 24. Our love was so immense, but reading other people's experiences makes me realise I'm not the only one in the world who feels like this.