Author Topic: The Silence  (Read 1192 times)


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The Silence
« on: April 17, 2017, 08:39:39 PM »
Living alone suddenly I'm so aware of the quiet. On the odd occasion if I've had a busy week I embrace it but a lot of the time it just makes me aware of the absence.

I turn on music or the tv just for the sound. I used to love quiet. Now it just makes me miss him. Who knew one man provided so much noise in my life.


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Re: The Silence
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2017, 10:26:31 AM »

My deceased wife and I never had children. And after her death I had no interest in turning on the TV, radio or any music whatsoever. So for more than a year, I spent virtually every evening completely alone in my home and in its total unrelenting silence. Although my life has changed greatly since then, while still in my first 6 months I posted:

I never hear:

A door slam, unless it is the wind;
Footsteps coming up the stairs, unless they are mine;
The garage door open, unless I push the button;
Plates and glasses clinking, unless I'm eating or drinking;
Water running, unless I turn the handle;
The washer or dryer rumbling, unless they hold my clothes;
One of our 3 vacuum cleaners whirring, since I haven't vacuumed in months;
My name being called, since dinner is ready;
My name being screeched, since I've done something stupid . . . again.

All those everyday sounds she used to make around the house, I don't hear anymore.
That beautiful background music for my life, now silent.

--- WifeLess


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Re: The Silence
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2017, 11:49:07 AM »
I felt that way too.  The stillness and emptiness, the silence.  Like Wifeless, I was not interested in music and TV, etc.  I'm nearly 6 years out, and I don't remember my exact feeling about it then, but - and this is strange - now, looking back, I actually feel nostalgic for that silence and stillness.  I feel like it gave me some kind of quiet in which to truly mourn.  As time went on, the hecticness of life (even without him) took over, the busy-ness, that forced me to be less reflective and less able to explore my thoughts and feelings.  I'm sure at the time it felt *anything but* comfortable or luxurious, but looking back, I do miss that period of stillness and reflection.  How strange. 
widowed 2011 (DH 28)


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Re: The Silence
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2017, 10:08:53 PM »
I turn on music or the tv just for the sound. I used to love quiet.

I'm now using a fan. The "white noise" seems to soothe the looming silence.
"The winds of change may blow around you, but that will always be so
When love is pain it can devour you, you are never alone"
In The Light
Led Zeppelin


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Re: The Silence
« Reply #4 on: July 02, 2017, 09:30:49 AM »
I do like the silence.  Alone where no one sees the tears.  Making is easier to hide the pain. 


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Re: The Silence
« Reply #5 on: January 17, 2018, 05:46:47 PM »
The silence kills me.