Author Topic: When did you stop wearing your ring?  (Read 1067 times)

Mishka3086

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When did you stop wearing your ring?
« on: May 06, 2017, 02:21:55 PM »
Hi everyone...

I've been debating whether I want to keep wearing my ring or if I want to invest in a nice necklace to wear it around my neck... I love my husband dearly and I am still very much married to him "in my mind"... But I find myself looking down at my ring on my finger and getting so depressed at the reality that he is gone. I'm just curious to know how soon or how long it took you all to take that step? Obviously, if I feel like wearing it on my finger any day I will... But for now it just seems to cause me more sadness, although I want to keep wearing it forever. Not sure if anyone else has felt this way?
Thanks and wishing you all a peaceful and blessed weekend ❤

KrypticKat

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Re: When did you stop wearing your ring?
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2017, 02:53:17 PM »
It's a very personal thing. My husband and I had only been married for just under a year before he suddenly passed away. So my Rings were still a very new thing to me and I love them so much. I probably stopped wearing them after about 1 to 2 months. Then oddly enough I started wearing my husband's ring on my right hand. I still wear it and it gives me comfort. Everyone is different though. Some people wear their rings around their neck. Some people don't wear them at all. Some wear them just the way they palways did. I'm actually debating having my wedding rings turned into a cocktail ring similar-looking to the first ring my husband bought me. That way I can wear it and itwill still remind me of the wonderful relationship I had. But I'm a bit like you where when I looked at my rings it caused a lot of pain for me because it was just a reminder that he was gone. Your marriage is so much more than just the rings on your finger but I'm glad that you recognize that. You'll know what's right and when it feels right and don't let anyone tell you otherwise how or when you should wear your rings. Sending you lots of love. KK.

maddalena

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Re: When did you stop wearing your ring?
« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2017, 10:37:51 PM »
Took me 2 years and a boy friend

HCE

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Re: When did you stop wearing your ring?
« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2017, 04:54:00 AM »
It'll be six months tomorrow, and I'm still wearing mine. I can't bear the thought of removing it.
They lived and laughed and loved and left.

JeanGenie

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Re: When did you stop wearing your ring?
« Reply #4 on: May 07, 2017, 06:45:56 AM »
I don't recall exactly when I stopped wearing them on my hand but it was about 2 years out. The engagement ring I brought to the jewelers to be inspected and cleaned and then put it away in his jewelry box for safe keeping. Our wedding bands I wear every day on a gold chain that I splurged on. They are usually hidden under my top so they are known only to me and closer to my heart there.

When to stop wearing them (or not) is totally a personal decision. I know I did it because I would see other woman wearing wedding bands and think "how lucky for them" and I didn't want people to look at me and assume I was happily married, because I wasn't married and I wasn't happy. I know realistically wedding bands do not mean someone is necessarily happily married, but I was.
I miss how happy I was with you.

Julester3

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Re: When did you stop wearing your ring?
« Reply #5 on: May 07, 2017, 11:06:45 AM »
Within the month. All the paperwork was getting to me and I had to write either single with children or widowed with children. As much as I loved my husband, I felt I was advertising something that I no longer was - a wife. The law said I wasn't so I switched to my anniversary band for a bit and then just got an entirely different ring altogether that I wear on my middle finger. It's a simple silver ring with entwined 7 small bands - represents the 7 things I was to my husband: his friend, his girlfriend, his lover, his fiancée, his wife, the mother of his children  and his soulmate. It's symbolic and it reminds me why I was important and am still important.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2017, 06:12:25 PM by Julester3 »

Trying

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Re: When did you stop wearing your ring?
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2017, 06:40:34 AM »
8 months after he died was our 21st wedding anniversary. I had tried removing our rings on and off for a few months (I had added his band to my band and engagement ring right after he died).  After 21 years of never removing my rings I found that kept reaching to the empty finger to twirl what wasn't there.  So on that first anniversary without him I bought myself a new ring to symbolize my new life. 

I hope you find what works for you, brings you comfort, and makes you feel true to yourself. 
You will forever be my always.

TornApart

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Re: When did you stop wearing your ring?
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2017, 07:03:41 AM »
About a year. I kept his wedding ring on a chain for about a month and then I had the gold and diamond recrafted into an eternity ring. I wore them both on my wedding ring finger until a while after the sadiversary, and then moved them to my right hand where they still are over four years later. But I swapped them back and forth between hands for months. I wasn't ready to not be a wife. It caused me great anxiety - I wanted everyone to know that I was loved. I wanted the reminder that I was loved. My engagement ring fitted onto my middle finger so it lives there.
"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." Kahlil Gibran

Laura1612

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Re: When did you stop wearing your ring?
« Reply #8 on: May 08, 2017, 10:41:33 PM »
I'm at six months, and I still wear mine and his! I know I'll be ready to take them off at some point, but not yet, and I don't care what anyone thinks!
May the Force be with you.

beth_krkswidow

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Re: When did you stop wearing your ring?
« Reply #9 on: May 23, 2017, 07:41:43 AM »
Day after tomorrow will be One Year. I  haven't even considered moving or removing thrm. And I  wear his on a chain around my neck.
As everyone says, it's your personal decision.  There's no right or wrong answer.
"Until my last breath, I loved you more than life itself." ~Kirk, in his envelope to be opened only upon his death.  And now I to you, My Love, until my last breath...

Lmsmdm

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Re: When did you stop wearing your ring?
« Reply #10 on: May 25, 2017, 02:19:53 PM »
You'll know when it's right. Until then, you do what you must. I wore my band on my ring finger for a little over a year. I am at the 6 year mark in July. I still wear mine on a chain, and his on my right thumb. I don't think I'll ever take his off, but I have started thinking about turning my band into something else.
You hate me don't you? Yup, so much I married you twice! :)

BrokenHeart2

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Re: When did you stop wearing your ring?
« Reply #11 on: May 25, 2017, 05:34:52 PM »
I'm at 4 yrs and I wear my band when I feel like it.  I don't give a sweet flying fox fart (local radio host used to say this lol) what anyone thinks.  What in my head doesn't reflect what's on my finger.  Do what is right for you!
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

Mizpah

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Re: When did you stop wearing your ring?
« Reply #12 on: May 26, 2017, 01:32:27 PM »
His first birthday that he wasn't here for, about 9 months in.  I looked down at my finger, and thought how RIGHT it looked, how I never ever wanted to take it off, and then in a strange moment of disconnect between thought and action, I took it off.  I wear it once a year on his birthday, as a kind of gift to him. 
widowed 2011 (DH 28)

oneoftwo

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Re: When did you stop wearing your ring?
« Reply #13 on: May 27, 2017, 12:33:36 AM »
My husband and I had matching, thin, gold wedding bands.
I slipped his ring on my middle finger, when I found it after he died (he didn't always wear it), and it fit perfectly.

I have both of our rings on my left hand, side by side. A mobios strip, now, I guess.
It's been a long time- I don't plan on removing either of them
« Last Edit: May 27, 2017, 12:35:59 AM by oneoftwo »

CandiceS

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Re: When did you stop wearing your ring?
« Reply #14 on: June 07, 2017, 04:39:53 AM »
It's only been about two months for me, but I still wear mine. We weren't married, but it still means a lot to me. It has our names and it's engraved with little heart shaped stones. I'm planning on wearing it as long as possible and giving it to our daughter one day. It makes me feel closer to him somehow.
Never make important plans too far in the future. You never know what might happen.