Author Topic: We are on this board because.......  (Read 1327 times)

Adley

  • Member
  • Posts: 131
Re: We are on this board because.......
« Reply #15 on: May 24, 2017, 04:54:59 PM »
I was soooo alone, and didn't find this place till two and a half years. It really helps to read everyone's experiences and individual takes on the many post-wid situations. I haven't had internet for a couple months and am glad to be back. Thank you all!
Here's to my pretty young wife     sleepin amongst the stars           now they say what's hers is mine but I know what's ours is ours

Love2fish

  • Member
  • Posts: 42
Re: We are on this board because.......
« Reply #16 on: May 28, 2017, 08:01:33 PM »
I am here because I still have a lot to learn about life and love.  Writing about these things helps me find answers, ... where I fit in the life and love story. 
 
I started this writing on other boards while I was caregiving to DW.  It surprised me to find out how important it is to write my deepest thoughts down. It is the best way I’ve found to bring those deeper thoughts into existence.  It is also important to know that what I write is going to be read by at least one person.  That makes it necessary that I write clearly so as to show respect for the person who is going to take the time to read what I have written.  In working to speak clearly to others I speak to myself more clearly. 

Thank you for reading.

Love2fish

Nuggets

  • Member
  • Posts: 80
Re: We are on this board because.......
« Reply #17 on: June 04, 2017, 11:21:07 PM »
I'm an old timer ~ it will be 15 years in July. 

I am no longer actively grieving ~ I have deconstructed my 'couple self' and rebuilt an awesome 'solo self' ... my spiritual home was a site called WidowNet, and for several years there were a couple of us that were active on both WidowNet (WN) and the YWBB site ~~ WN is still live, but the Facebook WN group is more active, YWBB shut down and members picked up the baton that became this site.

I was widowed at 44 years old, had an 11yr old son and a 20 yr old daughter and a cranky dawg ~~ and I wanted support at my leisure.  I functioned fine but every so often would totally derail - I wanted to connect with people that got that, but was surrounded by people that had no frikken idea.... WN and YWBB - now Widda - filled that need.

I come now to give back -- my journey would have been remarkably different without these sites.  I want newbies to know they are NOT alone, and this place is always open.  I have met many members of both sites in person, some have become good friends ('the family I chose' as one of my WN friends says) all have invested a bit of themselves in my healing - I can only hope that my reply and words will do similar for someone newly widowed. 

I hate that we're here ~
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Isaac Asimov

Adley

  • Member
  • Posts: 131
Re: We are on this board because.......
« Reply #18 on: June 10, 2017, 10:37:27 AM »
My journey would have been very different too over the last eight months. At two and a half years I was starting to think that there was something wrong with me because everyone treated me differently. Reading all these common experiences helped me realize I wasn't nuts, but people were treating me differently and I had had enough. Seeing that nearly all of us have had the in law/family drama post widowhood helped me see the situation much more clearly. I've never been one to waste time bickering, and suddenly being thrust in the middle of interrogation and bickering situations on top of all that raw grief nearly did me in back in the early days. This place is awesome!
Here's to my pretty young wife     sleepin amongst the stars           now they say what's hers is mine but I know what's ours is ours

HCE

  • Member
  • Posts: 25
Re: We are on this board because.......
« Reply #19 on: June 15, 2017, 08:15:51 AM »
Because no one else gets it.

There are many people who knew and loved my wife, but none of them knows what it is to lose a beloved spouse. I need to hear from people who understand that, and it helps to know there are people out there who know what I'm feeling first hand.

I believe if we don't engage with people who are suffering as we are, there's a whole side to our grief that's being suppressed and internalized. This board provides us with a healthy way to navigate our misery.
They lived and laughed and loved and left.