Author Topic: Gentle (coming or going) isn't my strong suit.  (Read 3852 times)

anniegirl

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Gentle (coming or going) isn't my strong suit.
« on: March 23, 2015, 12:04:48 PM »
The one thing I did not want to do by picking up posting on "the board" again was make anyone feel as though they weren't grieving correctly or that they couldn't post as they needed to.

That's what drove me away from the YWBB into permanent lurkerdom. It's what pushed me away from most of the widdosphere. Because even when there were no rules, there are still rules, and I have never been good with staying inside the lines that I haven't drawn for myself.

Things have changed a lot in terms of forums and websites, which is great, but in some ways it hasn't changed at all.

I may come back. It's foolish to say never, but right now, I've decided that damage has been done - by me - and that is sufficient reason to take my leave.

This is a good place with good people and a lot of potential.

But I am too far along and my perspective is out of step.

And those things that still come up have no place here.

My persona and it's contributions remain, and the PM box is tied to my email, so I am "around" but I won't be actively checking in.

I wish you all joy.
This is not the droid you are looking for.

Carey

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  • Widowed 11/23/13 Joined YWBB 12/2/13
Re: Gentle (coming or going) isn't my strong suit.
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2015, 12:47:46 PM »
This makes me incredibly sad :(   I realize we've just "met" , but I've gained great perspective from your posts and wish you would reconsider.
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter

patriciad

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Re: Gentle (coming or going) isn't my strong suit.
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2015, 03:12:55 PM »
I am sad to see you leave.  Sometimes I think, too, that I have been here for 5 1/2 years and I am in such a different place than I was a year or two out(thank God for that!).  BUT, it continues to surprise me how much I need people who have been at this for awhile.  I need the people who understand that no matter how much time has passed there is still grief and longing for what can no longer be.
I must have missed something because I have read your posts and have not found anything insensitive at all.  I feel your wisdom and kindness in your words. 
I think your perspective is very valuable BECAUSE you are a bit further out.  Nothing like hearing someone a bit further along than me validate the feelings that I have.  I don't feel quite so insane.

Pat

littlebirdie

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Re: Gentle (coming or going) isn't my strong suit.
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2015, 03:36:32 PM »
I feel like I missed something. I'm sorry to see you bow out. I think you have great perspective and I like hearing/reading it.

canadiangirl

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Re: Gentle (coming or going) isn't my strong suit.
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2015, 05:06:17 PM »
I missed something too.  You are a voice for good!  I love your posts and perspective!   I hope you decide to stay but if you decide to go, THANK YOU so much in helping with transition.  ((anniegirl))

TooSoon

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Re: Gentle (coming or going) isn't my strong suit.
« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2015, 05:15:54 PM »
Don't go!  You  - and all of the vets - have been instrumental in helping generate the traffic that is needed to keep this infant board vital so that it takes off and thrives.  We are all a part of the equation.  I can only speak for myself but the perspective of people many years out helps me enormously. 

If it is making you unhappy though, that's another story. 

TooSoon

  • Guest
Re: Gentle (coming or going) isn't my strong suit.
« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2015, 05:20:36 PM »
Don't go!  You  - and all of the vets - have been instrumental in helping generate the traffic that is needed to keep this infant board vital so that it takes off and thrives.  We are all a part of the equation.  I can only speak for myself but the perspective of people many years out helps me enormously. 

If it is making you unhappy though, that's another story. 

Captains wife

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Re: Gentle (coming or going) isn't my strong suit.
« Reply #7 on: March 23, 2015, 08:50:10 PM »
I have actually enjoyed reading your posts and responses and feel you have great advice and wise insight. I also hope you stick around - I'm sorry you feel you want to depart the board.

look2thesky

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Re: Gentle (coming or going) isn't my strong suit.
« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2015, 12:39:17 AM »
Edited.
« Last Edit: March 27, 2015, 01:09:34 PM by look2thesky »

Shawn823

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  • Widowed 12/11/12
Re: Gentle (coming or going) isn't my strong suit.
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2015, 09:26:59 AM »
I definitely missed something as well, AG. Your posts have provided insights and perspectives that have been of great value to me. In my opinion, the very best thing about this new board is the resurgence of the voices of the further-along wids. Thank you for helping me.

anniegirl

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Re: Gentle (coming or going) isn't my strong suit.
« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2015, 09:46:22 PM »
It appears I am a little hard on myself.

I am not "gone". Just pulling back. I have posted a bit more than was good for me and I breached a few lines I drew for myself.

As ATJ pointed out to me in a private conversation, a bit of a rest is probably in order given that I haven't posted years.

Thank you for your replies. They mean a lot to me.

A little break then but not goodbye.
This is not the droid you are looking for.

BrokenHeart2

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  • Widowed 2013
Re: Gentle (coming or going) isn't my strong suit.
« Reply #11 on: March 24, 2015, 10:13:33 PM »
So glad to hear. However it happened I'm happy to hear!
Hugs!
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

Carey

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  • Widowed 11/23/13 Joined YWBB 12/2/13
Re: Gentle (coming or going) isn't my strong suit.
« Reply #12 on: March 25, 2015, 08:31:46 AM »
Thank you for staying AG.
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter

patriciad

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  • Posts: 108
Re: Gentle (coming or going) isn't my strong suit.
« Reply #13 on: March 26, 2015, 07:24:55 PM »
thank you

Pat

Lost35

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Re: Gentle (coming or going) isn't my strong suit.
« Reply #14 on: March 27, 2015, 12:17:53 AM »
I'm glad to hear you are staying as well.  We are not told often enough, how much we positively affect the world, though we are quick to hear the negative.  So, I've enjoyed your posts and would miss them.  Besides, gentle comings and goings are boring...

Sliding in sideways is much more interesting, no matter the topic.

:D

-L.