Author Topic: Baby Boom  (Read 5032 times)


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Baby Boom
« on: March 23, 2015, 05:10:57 PM »
There have been at least four ladies from my job announce that they are pregnant, all within the last month. I am REALLY trying not to let this get me down but the last announcement hit me like a ton of bricks.

This particular girl just celebrated her first wedding anniversary. She came in my room, telling my coworker all about how her husband took her out of town so they could celebrate being married and now she's going to have a baby.

All of this excitement while I sit around and dread my upcoming anniversary date. This is so unfair and it hurts so freaking bad. All I wanted was to be his wife and raise our children.
There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God.
 For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his. - Hebrews 4:7-8
Alex 1/31/91-7/19/12


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Re: Baby Boom
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2015, 08:26:02 PM »
Hugs Alexswife. It's so hard to be in this situation. When my best friend got pregnant, I was sad as well. I was also thinking, why not me?  Why did he have to die?

The only faith that has kept me going is that maybe now is not the right time for me to be married and be pregnant, no matter how much I wanted that. Sending you much love and strength.
Gone but not Squish.

Miss you forever baby girl, my Pru!


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Re: Baby Boom
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2015, 08:45:44 PM »
Alexwife, I'm so sorry.  I can't even image how much that has to hurt you.  Just sending you a big hug and want you to know I'm thinking about you.


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Re: Baby Boom
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2015, 06:19:57 AM »
I too am surrounded by babies and engagements. I must admit baby cuddles do warm the soul tho, even if they're not mine. Good luck!


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Re: Baby Boom
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2015, 09:14:36 AM »
AW, I'm so sorry.  Tim's best friend and his wife just had a baby a couple weeks ago, and while I'm happy for him it stings very badly knowing that we were supposed to have a little one too to raise together.

Just  ((hugs)), sweet girl. I'm so sorry you're hurting. 
Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face

Do You Realize??



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Re: Baby Boom
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2015, 06:22:39 PM »
Yup, I know the feeling all too well, AW. This past weekend I was helping a couple of friends from my church move into their new house, and it was hard to stifle the tears welling up when I overheard my friend's two besties teasing her about *which* guest room would be the nursery, and one of them exclaiming, "Katie girl, you're next!"--next to get pregnant.

And all I could think of was that Brooks and I bought a spacious home a year ago as part of baby prep. A baby that would never get conceived or born.

I'm so sorry. This un-granted desire carries a lot of painful weight. And it's so hard to steel yourself to appear happy when yet another lady announced her pregnancy like it's just the natural progression of life.

If only that were the case for everyone who wanted to be parents.

Though lovers be lost, love shall not, and death shall have no dominion--Dylan Thomas


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Re: Baby Boom
« Reply #6 on: April 05, 2015, 06:26:11 PM »
With all the things that happen last year adding one more to tell people just did not make since so I will just tell you.  2 months before my loved died we thought maybe I was pregnant.  That means I would have had the baby within the last month to now. Wow does that hurts when you see families holding their new babies, people celebrating life when all you have is death.  At the moment I am taking it as a blessing I do not have to go through pains of having a baby without my love but it hurts none the less. 


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Re: Baby Boom
« Reply #7 on: May 01, 2015, 12:40:18 AM »
Thank you so much for sharing these feelings.  I feel so wrong for getting angry at other couples and their happiness, I mean its not their fault my life is so crappy.  But ugh, when I hear about someone getting pregnant, I just want to punch them in the face.  Why do you deserve this more than me?   And don't even get me started on how facebook has made this so much worse.  I still use facebook for communication with some long-time friends, so I had to tediously go through and unfollow everyone in a relationship because at my age everyone is getting knocked up or married


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Re: Baby Boom
« Reply #8 on: May 02, 2015, 10:26:09 PM »
I think it should be called Fakebook. All you see is the shines happy side. I call BULLSHIT.
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.


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Re: Baby Boom
« Reply #9 on: May 15, 2015, 03:22:28 AM »
Been working very hard on not being jealous, resentful or bitter.. And to be honest have been doing a pretty good job of it. Today a work mate had a surprise wedding. Happiness all round.. Until my other very close workmate yells out, "Oh my god, that's 8 weddings this year, it's the wedding year!!" Including hers. I am her maid of honour. Another workmate's comment, "You know what this means next?! Babies"

I had a funeral. This is my funeral year. You know what came next? Nothing.

I have genuinely been happy for all of this people. Each one has been one of my close friends. But now I'm falling into that, "Why me?" frame of mind. It doesn't help.. Now to try and pull myself out..

Just after this cry :(


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Re: Baby Boom
« Reply #10 on: May 31, 2015, 09:27:58 AM »
My friend who was my best man at the wedding has told me that he and his wife are pregnant. They are the first of my friends to get pregnant. Reading over previous messages here about people finding it difficult to rejoice in others' pregnancy news, I never really empathised. Now I do. I am happy for them but so sad too. I was supposed to be a mother by next year. Writing 'mother' in reference to myself seems so bizarre. I want babies. The biological clock has started ticking. Sigh.
Musings of this sarcastic but upbeat young widow can be read here :


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Re: Baby Boom
« Reply #11 on: August 13, 2015, 05:48:55 PM »
I am the same, in the 12 months since Phil died, 4 people had (or their partner) babies, to make it worse they were all born around the time I had expected me and Phil to be having babies as we were trying just before he died  :(

So totally, 100% know how you feel, it's crap