Author Topic: Starting to really hate sleeping alone.  (Read 407 times)


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Starting to really hate sleeping alone.
« on: June 07, 2017, 04:29:19 AM »
At first I was fine, slept with a giant teddy bear he gave me for valentines that was about his size until I didn't feel like I had to anymore. Switched to a smaller bed, let our daughter sleep in my bed when she wanted. I was fine with all that. It's been a little over two months, his birthday is Friday so we're all a little off lately. I woke up at 3am stressed out of my mind over nothing specific, mostly party planning and our dentist appointments today. This usd to be a regular occurrence for me. I'd just roll over, put my arm around him, and know everything would be fine because he would help me through it. Now it's after 5, still just laying here hoping I can get back to sleep soon because by 6 it'll be impossible. This is the first time in a few weeks I've just missed sleeping next to someone. Usually I'd just sit here and deal with it until I eventually pass out or my daughter wakes up, but the whole house is going to be waking up soon, I have to get her to the dentist in four hours, my own appointment after that, and I only got maybe three hours of sleep the second night in a row. I don't even know why I'm typing this, I guess just to focus on something not stressful. I do have to figure out something to help me sleep though. Medication isn't really an option when you're pregnant and my bed doesn't have room for that giant teddy bear I used before.
Never make important plans too far in the future. You never know what might happen.


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Re: Starting to really hate sleeping alone.
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2017, 05:33:22 AM »
Hi Candice.
Maybe you're typing this to help get it out of your head and that's a good thing.  I hope you got to fall back to sleep.  How about getting back into your own bed with the big teddy bear, that may help you sleep. After DH died I bought a body pillow.  I was so used to throwing my leg over DH when sleeping.  All of it is just off in so many ways that we need to find something new to make it work. 
Could it also be the anticipation of his upcoming birthday? That wouldn't surprise me at all.  Many of us on here has experienced just this coming up on those birthday/anniversary dates that sets our minds reeling days before.
Now that I am finally able to read books again I find reading make me sleepy.  Thank God for that.
I hope you find what works for you!
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.


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Re: Starting to really hate sleeping alone.
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2017, 10:12:47 PM »
I too think that upcoming birthday is causing anxiety for you. I bore myself silly with bad TV or music videos to help me fall asleep. Sometimes I crochet until I get bleary eyed and then I sleep a bit better. You might have to be creative? I hope you can find some rest in the coming days...